


Stepmonster 2point0

by TheGreenEyedRioN



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: Bechloe Chaubrey Staubrey, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:13:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 60,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreenEyedRioN/pseuds/TheGreenEyedRioN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stepmonster 2.0<br/>Beca grew up with her mum after her father left them. She lost contact to him a while ago but now he wants to bond again. Why? Well she has to find out, but why does she have to go to Barden, where he's teaching when she wants to have a go at being a DJane in LA? Bonding, with her father and his new family? Now that is something she doesn't want to do, more so since she knows that her stepsister, or how she prefers to call the unknown girl, stepmonster 2.0 is attending Barden as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not going to California

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If I would own Pitch Perfect, there would be Bechloe!

 

 

**Beca's PoV:  
**

When my dad left, me and my mum were shocked as hell. Actually, I was shocked even more so than her. I've seen lots of divorces, most of my friends parents got divorced. You wanna know why this was different? When two people fall out of love they start fighting, even of the smallest of things. I remember my best friend being over at mines some day. She lived just a couple of houses away and we often hung out and had fun. Normally her parents were great. They would buy us loads of ice cream and chocolate, but that day we could hear them arguing over the whole street.

Shortly after that they got a divorce and my friend moved away with her father, where to I will never know.

 

I had more of these experiences through my childhood. Lots of screaming, fighting and arguing, but never between my parents. I was kind of proud of that, but maybe it was karma.

 

The day my dad left was crazy. There was no screaming, no fighting, no nothing. I could have dealt with that, like I said I've seen it enough. It was a Saturday morning and by the time I got up and went to the kitchen my dads bags were packed and stood near the front door. I thought we were going on a trip, but then he saw me, turned around to me and gave me a sad smile.

When he lifted me in his arms and told me that everything will be okay and that I will see him as much as possible my brain went out on me.

 

The rest of the day is a blur. There are faint images of my mother crying but I don't know if she started crying that they or the following. What I do remember is that she didn't stop crying for months.

 

My dad called me twice in the first month and I got a call the following three months, but then the calls stopped. He did call on my birthdays and most of the holidays, but we didn't talk at all, just some stupid well wishes...I guess it was around this time that he met Sheila (can't remember the stepmonsters name sry if it's the wrong one) and her daughter.

He started officially dating her about a year after he left us and he even wanted me to get to know them, but I just couldn't. I already hated them, they took MY father! So screw him! It could have been a short timed relationship, but no, they got married two years ago. No party, no guests. Just the two of them, getting married in Vegas. Cliché much? I really wouldn't have gone, even if I'd been invited.

 

I was impressed when my mom told me in the middle of a non-holiday season that my dad had called. I mean, seriously, after 7 years he starts calling without a birthday?

Mum told me to call him back, but I refused to. Maybe if I had done it I wouldn't have to go to Barden University now. My mum and my dad ganged up on me, how this was possible after they ignored each others presence for that long, I really don't know.  
  


My mom was always so supportive of me, well that's a lie. She was always good to me, but she never wanted me to fall in love with music. She was in love with music before she met my dad and it never worked out for her. After she got over my dad she always made fun of it, telling me he couldn't really break her heart cause music broke it before he could.

I know that she always means well by telling me not to rely only on my dream of becoming a DJane but I am kind of a dreamer in that way. She is great and she only wants the best for me and even if I am mad at her now, I love her too much to not forgive her. The most annoying part of going to University is that it is BARDEN, after all.

I don't want to rebind with my father and I have absolutely no interest in a stepmother and a stepsister. I bet they are ugly as hell...

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

Today is the day I move to Barden, yay I am so excited. Yes, I am a sarcastic bitch, live with it.

I took a taxi, mostly to annoy my father, but it was kinda nice to ignore the reality for the ride.

A boy in the back of a car is already flirting to me, playing air guitar. Dude, what have I gotten myself into- no wait, my father got me into this...

I'm only half listening to the annoyingly happy girl that talks about rape as if it was something cheerful.

 

“Only use it when it's really happening!” said girl quirks.

 

I stick it into my mouth and I haven't felt the urge to disobey this much in a long time. The place is full of people, well mostly students and some parents and I wish myself into a quieter place. Kind of funny actually, I wanna be a DJ that rocks clubs full of people but I can't stand close proximity.

 

As I arrive in front of what I guess is my dorm some girl walks right into me, making me fall on my ass. She seems sorry but I can't understand a word she says, maybe she's from France or Spain. She wants to help me up, offering me a hand, but I refuse to take it. I meant it when I said no close proximity, that means no touching and such and if I could help it I would change every handshake into a wave.

 

I finally arrive in my room and, surprise, my roommate is already there. Kimmy Jin, she looks like the name sounds and after my encounter outside I'm not so sure she speaks English, which she does, fluently. Even though she ignores me for the better part, well, I can live with that. At least there was no touching, score!

 

My dad comes by shortly after that and that gives me the opportunity to annoy him some more. I think he doesn't like the names I have for his new wife and daughter, but hey I got to say stepmonster and stepmonster 2.0 in one sentence!

 

“You will like them, Beca, give them a chance.” he has this hugh optimistic view of life.

“I don't even want to find out if I could like them, _dad_.” I lay my focus on the dad and yes, he gets annoyed even more.

 

“You will come to a family dinner, if you want or not.” Seems like he has a backbone, stepmonster hasn't gnawed it off yet, impressive.

 

I use my chance to flee my own room with Kimmy Jin and head over to the activities fair. At least here are no teachers and no parents, save to say I can chill a bit now.

While I look around I actually notice a booth for DJs, but as I come closer I can read that they are Jewish and deaf, great combination.

The next thing I know is a funny blonde girl next to me, not getting at all what deaf or jewish means. How does someone like that get the right to go to a U? I make my escape while she flirts (?) with two of the deaf jews. Funny and creepy this day so far.

 

Just as I thought that my day was doomed to suck completely a redhead catches my eyes. She has this kind of intriguing blue eyes that make you think that you are drowning in a beautiful, deep blue sea. I am stunned, so stunned that the bits of conversation I pick up are hard for my brain to put together. This has never happened to me before.

 

They want to win me for their a capella group, she and the taller blonde beside her. The blonde doesn't seem to like me, like instantly. She seems the polar opposite to the redhead. Uptight and a bit prude. I like this kind of people, they are fun to play with. From the conversation we have I get that she has a stick pretty high up her ass. She gets annoyed when I tell her my opinion on a capella. Obviously it's not the music part, I love music, but as the redhead pointed out, it comes only from the mouth. Music is so much more, the beat, the bass, the harmony it creates with the melody and the lyrics. That is music. A capella seems to be a thing at the moment, as the uptight blonde says, there are even four a capella groups at BU. Competition much?

 

“Sorry, I can't even sing.” It's a lie, but they'll never find out...

 

Beautiful eyes seems a bit sad to hear that but there is just no way on earth that I will degrade my music like that.

 


	2. Curtain Falls

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

 

The rest of the activities fair goes by real quick. I see the announcement of an internship at the Barden radio and decide to apply for it.

Maybe I can live my music there. Something to keep me from going insane at this place. I hate my parents more and more for putting me through this. College experience? My ass...

 

111111111111111111111111111111

 

 

The internship starts at 4pm and I am a bit early. I strode through the dimly lit room and get a feel for the place. It's dark, there is a nearly endless supply of music and a cool looking guy speaking to me at the moment. Wait, talk Beca, you have to answer him!

 

“I was standing around.” He smiles at me and I follow him through the tiny space, listening intently to him.

 

“No freshman in the booth.” Oh, okay. So much to playing my music this year.

That creepy guy that played the air guitar to me arrives and something tells me that Luke, the hot radio guy, dislikes him instantly. As Jesse, still flirting with me constantly and being annoyingly persistent that we know each other, starts dragging me into a conversation, I hate myself for applying for this job.

 

Luke warns us to not have sex on the desk and all I can do is bite back my sarcastic answer that we will use the walls, shelves and even the floor for that. Luckily he tells me and my new super best friend for life, Jesse, to start stacking the CDs.

 

“Great, now I'm stuck here stacking CDs.” I speak more to myself, but how else could it be, Jesse picks up, like, instantly.

 

“Oh, you don't like stacking CDs? Thats what I came here for, I love stacking CDs!” He replies with a smirk and for once he seems like he's less annoying. Maybe we could be friends. That is a fat MAYBE.

 

1111111111111111111111111111111

 

 

A month has passed in a blur. My courses are mostly boring. And by mostly I mean all of them. At least I have time to do new mixes. I'm currently working on something with David Guettas Titanium. I don't know what exactly I'm going to do with it, but I love this song it's like, on my mind constantly.

 

Jesse is still flirting with me. He tried to bribe me into watching movies with him, which I hate, which he obviously likes. I feel like that most of the time. The only thing that seems to connect us is music. He wants to write music for films, though. That's a down, but well, whatever he likes.

 

My father walked into my room today, finding me fast asleep while I should have been attending my Philosophy course. The look on his face was priceless. He obviously hates that I am not enjoying this whole college experience. The radio station is not an appropriate place for me to be, so he thinks. While I don't enjoy stacking CDs, I constantly bring my new mixes to Luke, hoping he'll listen to them and I get a chance to play them.

 

_Dad_ , actually surprises me. Seems like he has time to think about his only, yes, I don't count stepmonster 2.0, daughter. He even agrees to help me with my dream of moving to LA but there is a trap in there. I need to attend one of the campuses groups, and _make an effort_. Hell, I am happy about all this! If that is all I need to cut my 4 terrifyingly years at Barden to only one, I will give my all to it.

 

So, my whole day I've been spending with thoughts about clubs to join. Maybe the deaf Jew DJs would be the least annoying, but I don't think my father would approve to that.

Kimmy Jin is still not talking to me, only when it's unevitable, so I don't even say anything when I leaf my room and head to the bathrooms. I learned by now that the showers are empty after 8pm, with most the students out partying and the few that are not into that spend their evening like Kimmy Jin, studying.

 

1111111111111111111111111111111111111

 

I was right. Not one shower is running as I enter and my mind is still occupied by the club choice. Titanium is still in my head and I decide to focus on the task of finding a suitable song to mix it with and forget about my father for the rest of the evening.

I don't know when I started to sing along to Titanium, it's something that happens to me a lot. There is no way of getting a better feeling for a song than singing it yourself. I could never do it better than Sia, I know that. There's no song from her that I don't like, she is amazing.

I enter the shower, still singing and turn on the, hopefully, hot water.The rustling of the shower curtain behind me startles me. Shit! Where's my rape whistle when I need it? This must be karma, I shouldn't have joked about it that day.

 

As I turn around, all I can see is a gorgeous redhead. The one from the activities fair! I get lost in those blue orbs again, but my brain catches up to the fact that I am naked and I start trying my best to cover my goods. The fact that she is _very_ naked is making me even more nervous. She is beautiful and not shy at all. How she does it I don't know, but she beams relentlessly at me.

 

“I knew you can sing!” Well hello to you too. Seriously? That's all she has to say to this awkward situation.

 

I try to get her out of the shower, but she doesn't even care.

“You have to audition for the Bellas!” That again. All she can think about is this stupid a capella group.

 

“That was Titanium, right?” She has a beautiful voice, maybe a bit too happy all the time. She is quirky.

 

“You know David Guetta?” Don't they just sing those very old and lame songs?

 

“Am I living on the moon? Of course I know David Guetta. Titanium is my jam, my _lady_ jam!” She gets even closer to me and I'm becoming more and more nervous. She is even more beautiful up close and it's all I can do to stop my eyes from leaving her face. I try to distract myself, yes, just look up to the shower head Beca...There is mould up there...

 

“Gross...” Shit, now she thinks I think she's gross! It is a bit strange to admit such a private detail to a stranger, though, right?

 

“Sing it for me!” The redhead chirps and I feel my walls build up again.

 

“NO!” Can't she just get out?

 

“Not for that reason, just do it. I won't leave unless you do.” I didn't even think that she would want to hear it from me for that reason, geez. She really is relentless. She tries to look annoyed at me, but it's so not her character. She can't pull it off, but there is something about the way she looks so expectantly at me that makes me feel like I would do anything for her...to go out of the shower, I mean. It's not like I am crushing on her, right? No way...

 

So I start to sing...

 

_Bulletproof, nothing to lose_

I sound horrible. I'm too shy to sing naked in a shower with someone watching me so intently and standing so close.

 

_Fire away, Fire away_

She actually starts to sing along with me and I feel my anxiety vanish as she does. The way her voice harmonies with mine is...breathtaking. Everything about her seems to be breathtaking.

 

_You shoot me down, but I won't fall_

_I am Titanium_

_You shoot me down but I won't fall_

_I am Titanium_

 

She does something with the word Titanium that makes me shiver but it could be because I'm naked and cold. She wears this face splitting smile and I feel myself smiling back at her.

There is this awkward moment when we just look at each other and there is a kind of force that pulls me even closer to her.

 

“You have a great voice.” I'm shocked for a moment. I didn't realise that there was a guy standing in the now again half open shower curtain. I see the redhead looking at him with a glint in her eyes and it's that moment that it hits me. Of course a beautiful girl like her wouldn't be alone, that was stupid of me to think. I'm upset and that's actually a good thing because else I would have screamed at the guy to get the fuck out of my shower.

 

“Tom, wait for me outside please?” And with the blink of her eyelashes he does as told. She turns back around to me, but obviously our moment is broken.

“Audition for the Bellas! Do it. We'll be a great team. I'm Chloe by the way.” How does she sound so happy all the time?

 

“Beca.” Is all that I get out. My eyes fall to her body without permission.

 

“Oh, right. You want to shower.” She seems to have noticed my peeking. “I'm pretty confident about” She motions to her body and I can't help but follow her hands. “...all this.”

 

“You should be.” Oh no, please don't tell me that was myself at a lame attend of flirting?

 

Chloe just smiles at me and leaves, probably going after that guy from before. I didn't catch his name, even though he saw me naked. Great, just great. When did my life become such a mess?

Right, I have my _dad_ to blame for this...

 


	3. Then and Now

**Beca's PoV:**

 If you had told me half a year ago that I would attend BU, I would have laughed in your face. To top it off, if you had told me I would audition to sing in an all girls a capella group I would have dropped dead from a laughing fit.

 Even a month ago I wouldn't have believed that I would willingly go to the auditions, yet here I was, totally unprepared because no one told me that we would sing Kelly Clarkson's 'Since you've been gone', and the tall blonde from the activities fair gives me a look like she would rather kill me than letting me become a part of the Barden Bellas.

 When I told my dad that I had made my choice of club he was actually content with my choice. I just don't get why...Maybe he thought I would get my piercings removed. Good thing he doesn't know about my tattoos, he would kill me.

  

“Hello. I didn't know we had to prepare that song.” Could I sound any shyer than I do right now? I even gave a slight wave to Chloe.

  

She looks happy to see me, at least one of us is happy that I showed up.

 

“It's OK, just sing what you want.”

  

Maybe I should have just sang 'Since you've been gone'. This is worse, I don't know what to choose. Titanium is not an option since I sang it with Chloe in the shower. Actually, since she sang it with me I can't even listen to Sia anymore and a mash up is impossible without asking Chloe to record it with me. Maybe I can get her to do it when I am a Bella. Now that brings me back to choose a song.

As I look around the room for some inspiration I see a cup with pencils in front of Chloe. There's this cool thing I found on the internet some years ago and I just had to learn it. Since I lack better ideas I think to myself, _why not_?

“Can I?” I point to the cup and Chloe nods eagerly. She is giving me that face splitting smile again while I sit down on the stage, but the blonde, whose name is still a mistery to me, gives me that annoyed look, yet again.

I start tapping a beat, using my hands and the cup and I see the two girls in front of me giving me a curious look.

 

_I took my ticket for the long way 'round_

_Two bottles of whiskey for the way_

_And I sure would like some sweet company_

_And I'm leaving tomorrow_

_What da'ya say?_

 

I glance up, noticing that everyone is watching me intently. Even the prude bitch seems surprised.

_When I'm gone_

_When I'm go~ne_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me by my hair,_

_You're gonna miss me everywhere_

_Oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone._

 

By now I can see Chloe's curious look vanishing and it's replaced by this face that just makes me want to continue for my whole life, but just as I want to end it I see Jesse behind the stage, urging me to continue. Thank god, a face I know.

_I took my ticket for the long way 'round_

_the one with the prettiest view_

_its got mountains, its got rivers_

_its got sights to give you shivers_

_and I'm sure it would be prettier with you._

 

 I glance from Chloe to Jesse while singing it, trying to draw power from the two of them. They seem to be the fuel that drives me on lately.

  _When I'm gone_

  _When I'm go~ne_

  _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

  _You're gonna miss me by my walk,_

 Y _ou're gonna miss me by my talk_

  _And I know you're gonna miss me when I'm gone._

 I put the cup down, ending the beat and the song. My audience seems fascinated and I hear Jesse muttering a 'wow'. Well I got my confidence boost so I leave rather quickly.

 

 111111111111111111111111111111

  

As I make my way back to my dorm, still rushed from all the excitement of performing I hear Jesse calling out for me. He jogs so he can catch up with me.

  

“Becawww, that was amazing. Where did that come from? I didn't even know that you wanted to join an a capella group! Talk to me, girl. I am an badass at listening.” He gives me a hugh smile and with all the excitement I have in me I can't even conter with my sarcasm as usually.

 

“Thanks, just something I picked up through Youtube a while ago. So, I don't think you were auditioning for the High Notes, or should I be concerned, you know, I don't do concerned.”

 

“I do aim for the Trebles, but I wouldn't mind singing for the Bellas as well.” He quips.

 

“Was that your way of telling me that you indeed swing the other way?” This seems to be the first time we actually have a conversation with me participating and I don't mind. Maybe there could really be this friends thing between us.

 

“Aww, Becaww. You know I like girls. There even is this one girl, maybe you know her? She's alternative, brown hair, wears ear spikes. She's pretty tiny...” I stop right away and turn to him harshly.

 

“Who do you call tiny? I'm not tiny!”

 

“Who said it was you?” He smiles broadly at me and we share a laugh.

 

“So, do I stand a chance of a date?”

 

Shit, I hate this situations.

 

“I don't know, Jesse. I kind of like you.”

 

“But there is a _but_ in there, isn't it?” He gives me a slightly hurt look but as I nod his smile returns.

 

“I like you, as a friend. You're just not my type.” I say it mostly to make him feel better, what is kind of odd for me. I normally don't care if my statements hurt people, he must have grown on me or something.

 

“Well then, what is your type?” His happy attitude is back, not quite as strong as before but still back.

That question is one I hadn't expected. I try to think about it, but all I can see is tall, redheaded, blue eyes that make you drown...NO don't go there. A man you like...A MAN you think of as hot...

“Someone like err, Luke?” I don't sound too convincing in my ears but Jesse seems to take it in.

 

“Yeah, he seems like your type. Older, good body, music lover, tattooed.” He takes it with composure. “Well, I still want to go an a date! I need to teach you about movies. You're still interesting enough to befriend you.”

 

I laugh. “You are not so bad yourself, J-man.”

 

We can definitely be friends, that I know now.

111111111111111111111111111111

 

By the time I arrive back in my room the overload of endorphins in my system has subsided. I am kind of anxious as to how much I impressed the blonde. I get the vibe that she is the one making the decisions, a big reason to be worried. What do I do if the Bellas won't accept me? Deaf Jewish DJs? Shit.

I decide to work on my mixes to stop myself from worrying. If you had told me a month ago that I would be so fussed about being accepted into an a capella group I would have killed you for believing I could be such a person.

Right now, badass Beca can't even focus on her mash ups. The worst thing though is that I have this fear of not being accepted not only because of the deal with my father. I just can't stop thinking about Chloe and I fear I have a crush. Maybe not being accepted wouldn't be so bad at all.

 

Just as I think this I hear my door burst open and I feel some kind of bag being pulled over my head. The last thing I see is a blur of red, and that makes me kind of happy and I am not afraid at all, though I get why they give out rape whistles at Barden. Privacy seems to be a rare thing here.

 


	4. From Beca to Bella

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

 

I feel myself being pushed and dragged through what feels like the whole campus, but it's not that kind of unpleasant dragging that hurts you or annoys you. I felt a warm hand slip through mine as we left my dorm and I guess I was lucky. Could you imagine how this trip would have gone if the blonde would have picked me up? I don't want to imagine.

 

As we finally arrive wherever we headed I hear Chloe whispering to me to wait here. She turned to leave, but I didn't let go of her hand. Hell this got more and more fishy by the minute, I mean how would you feel, about to be left alone with some bag over your head after you had been dragged from your room and over the campus like that?

 

 

 

“Trust me.” Chloe whispered. “I have to get two other girls, but it's not far away, I will only be away for 10 minutes or so.”

 

 

 

I wanted to trust her, god knows, but how should I? There was no way on earth that I would stand here like this, if someone were to see me I would be the joke of the whole U!

 

 

 

“Okay, you can sit down right here, and you can lift the bag...but please put it back on if you hear Aubrey enter. I try to be faster, but she would kill me for this. It's hard todo this ritual with only two people.” Chloe's voice sounds concerned but still this teeny tiny bit over friendly that annoys me so much on everyone else...but her.

 

 

 

She leaves and I lift the bag off my head. I glance through the room, lit only with dozens of candles and I'm pretty sure we are not allowed to burn candles on the campus but what the hell. They really went all out, I mean, this place looks incredible but also kind of creepy, like a ritual place where you sacrifice people. I hear someone approaching and put the vag over my head again before I even know that it's Aubrey. I don't want her to get mad at me, or Chloe, for that matter.

 

 

 

My fears where proven wrong when I hear Chloe whisper through the bag that it's her and I instantly relax. Not long after that I hear some moor footsteps approach and the _ritual_ begins.

 

After Aubrey pulled the bags from our heads rather harshly, I swear she pulled out some hairs along with the bag, we have to sing our names, actually _sing_ them. It's ridiculous what horrible sound comes out of this name chaos but still everyone is smiling.

 

Aubrey, or blonde bitch with the stick up her ass how I prefer to call her, lets us promise to never have a relationship or sex therefor, with one of the Treblemakers and I can't shake the feeling that there must be some history to that.

 

The funniest part of the whole ritual is actually just starting. Chloe approaches me with a grail and Aubrey tells us that we have to take in the blood of the former Bellas. Maybe I was right about this whole sacrifice thing. I look to the others and everyone, except for an asian girl, whose name I didn't get, looks disgusted.

 

 

 

“I'm not drinking that!” I blurt out before anyone else can and I get some relieved looks, yet again the asian girl is the only exception-creepy.

 

 

 

“It's just sangria.” Chloe answers me and just by the look on her face I feel like I would drink anything she tells me to. So I do, a hugh gulp later I hand it over to the crazy blonde I met at the activities fair. Seems like we are a bunch of crazy people here, I haven't seen a more unique group of people gather together and as my eyes flicker to Aubrey I think I can read her thoughts and they seem to be somewhere along mine. I let my eyes wander to the redhead to Aubrey's left and she seems happy about this crazy bunch of people she brought together. I hope she is right...

 

 

 

 

 

111111111111111111111111111111

 

 

 

The ritual wasn't so bad at all but just as we were about to leave Chloe announces with a swing in her hips that the evening is far from over and I can even see a faint smile on Aubrey's face, I must be dreaming...

 

They bring us to an outside theatre kind of thing where a party is already in its full swing. I see the other a capella groups, most people are dancing together, except for the High Notes, well they are at a corner and...high. At least they are here, it makes us all seem less competitive. I'm not much of a party person, I never was cause it meant interacting with near strangers and drunk people get too touchy for my likings. Looking around, not really in the mood to dance I make my way to the upper rows to enjoy myself by watching Fat Amy, the australian from the activities fair, trying to dance with the shy counterpart of the Bellas, the asian girl, whose name appears to be Lily, but she speaks so quiet that it's hard to understand her.

 

I pass Chloe and Aubrey on my way up and catch some of their conversation.

 

 

 

“I am anxious about all this, Chlo. This is our last chance to do this right.” Aubrey seems like she is about to faint and I swear I've seen her have her fare share of booze.

 

 

 

“We can do this, Brey! I know it.” Chloe seems to hold the booze better.

 

 

 

I get to the upper levels and I can see an obviously very drunk Jesse make his way to me. Seriously, we're here for like an hour and everybody seems to be smashed or on their best way there.

 

 

 

“Becawww! Becaww, Becaww! Seems like my favourite girl has made it into the Bellas. You know, your an aca-girl and I am an aca-boy, so tell me, do I still don't stand a chance that we have a date where I can show you that we could have aca-children?” That topic again, but I can see that he is only half serious.

 

 

 

“ _You_ are obviously smashed...and the answer is still no.” He makes me smile, I don't know how he does it but he seems to dig himself through my walls.

 

 

 

“ _I am not!_ It's your fault for being so blurry. By the way, you seem too sober for a party. I'm gonna get you a drink!” As he turns I swear I see him fall down, but somehow he manages to get down the stairs.

 

 

 

I try to follow him with my eyes to make sure he stays okay but a blur of red running up the stairs to me catches my full attention.

 

 

 

“Hey!” And just with one word I am totally lost in the bubble that seems to surround Chloe.

 

“I'm so happy that we met!” Chloe seems to be a lot drunker than I thought earlier. It fit's perfectly with her charming nature and I can feel my heart flutter.

 

 

 

She is holding my hands and moves incredibly close to my face and just like that time in the shower I realise how beautiful she is. I get lost in the moment, but her voice pulls me back.

 

“I've got a feeling we'll be fast friends.” Her face is still close to mine and I could swear I saw her glancing down at my lips. Is she flirting with me? Ohmygod! Work brain, I need a good response to that!

 

 

 

“Yeah, well you did see me naked.” I give her a wink and I can't stop myself from looking down at her lips for a second.

 

 

 

She looks up at me with those blue orbs and just smiles for a moment. I could live in this bubble of hers I guess...

 

She gives me an amused look and I get the feeling I missed out on something.

 

“What?” Yes straight to the point, brain.

 

 

 

“I said I wanna get to know you and introduced myself. I'll just repeat it. Chloe Beale, nice to get to know you Beca...” She doesn't seem mad that I zoned out on her, something tells me that she finds it quite funny.

 

 

 

“Mitchell. My name is Beca Mitchell.” I give her the biggest smile I own but I can see a frown appear on her face. What in the world did I do wrong?

 

 

 

“Err, okay. I need to get myself another drink. This ginger needs its jiggle juice!” And with a slap to her ass she turns around and makes her way back to the dance floor.

 

 

 

What in the world just happened? I feel like I missed out on something but I can't dwell on it cause I see Jesse stumbling up the stairs with two cups full of booze in his hands. It's that moment I decide to get smashed as well and by the time the 'Aca-Initiation-Night' is over I am fairly drunk myself.

 

 

 

I decide to get Jesse back to his room, because the poor boy can't walk properly anymore and it appears that we did quite the bonding over this eventful evening.

 

 

 

“Don't get mad at me.” He slurrs.

 

 

 

“Why? Do we have to make a stop again so you can puke?” He already puked twice and I feel like we are not getting nearer to his dorm.

 

 

 

“No, I just...it could be my imagination, but did something upset you earlier?” At least he sounds more sober than he did when we started to make our way back.

 

 

 

“Kind of.” It's not really an answer, I know that, but what should I tell him? Chloe left the party with some guy that didn't fit into the aca-groups at all some short time after our conversation. I didn't see him that well but if I had to make a guess it would be that it was that guy from the shower. Tim, Thomas or something. Sure someone like Chloe would have a gorgeous boyfriend like that.

 

 

 

“Wwwweeelll...wanna pour your heart out?” He stops and looks straight into my eyes. He really is a decent guy.

 

 

 

“Maybe. But not tonight. Lets get you back to your room.”

 

And with that I grab him by his belt and we make our, apparently, never ending way over to his dorms again

 

 

 


	5. Predators and Preys

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

The next day starts pretty early for us Bellas and for that we have to thank our one and only true Aubrey Posen, who made it her goal to get us all out of our beds at 9am and though I know that Jesse and me where most likely the last to leave Aca-Initiation-Night, we sure must be all tired.

By the time I made it back to my dorm the sun was peeking at the sky. I guess I had about three hours of sleep, at least I was so out of it that I didn't think or dream about Chloe.

Her behaviour was strange, I mean, first she is all bubbly and flirting and then just in the blink of an eye she is distant and that is not a character trait that fits her.

 

 **Everybody up, aca-bitches! 10am at the practise room, the smaller gym on the east side of Barden. And I mean 10am, sharp!** (Aubrey)

 

Hell, I really have to get up or I won't be on time. Good thing that my dorm isn't on the west side. It should take me a little more than 10 minutes to walk there.

 

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The _small_ gym turns out to be not as small as it looked from the outside. There are multiple rows of seats facing the not so tiny practise space, but Aubrey had put up 2 rows of plastic chairs, facing a whiteboard and some kind of a picture wall.

I was two minutes early but still I was the last to enter, and by the look on head-bitches face, my blonde tyrant thought the same.

 

Here's the thing, I would never admit it out loud if someone were to ask me, but I love pictures. They fascinate me and sometimes I wish I could take pictures as good as I mix songs. I am an amateur at it though, there are only a few pictures that I am proud of.

 

I study the picture wall together with Fat Amy and we agree that we don't look like Bellas at all, seeing the ex-Bellas all lined up in front of us. I let my eyes linger on a picture from last year and see Aubrey and Chloe in the back of the picture, their smiles not quite reaching their eyes.

That confuses me, I mean, they are so hyped about a capella, right?

 

“Okay, take your seats, everyone.” It's crazy how we all just do what Aubrey tells us to, hell, she doesn't even look like she is enjoying herself right now. Something seems to be wrong. Chloe hasn't looked at me since I entered and right now she is watching the floor so intently that I fear that there are some gross stains on it.

 

Suddenly Chloe looks up and her blue orbs linger a second on mine before they follow Aubrey who is walking to an empty chair on the left.

 

“As you all can see, Kori is not here today. She let herself be trebled last night and had to leave.” Aubrey takes the empty chair and moves it to the side.

 

“Wow, the vow you made us do was real.” I don't know if it's a statement or a question, but it leaves my mouth before I can stop myself.

 

”Of course I was serious, Dixie Chick serious! You can make out with whoever you want, as long as he's not a Treblemaker.” She is pacing the room, making us sure we all understand her. Well, I have to say, Aubrey knows how to lead a group.

 

“That is gonna be hard!” Stacie, a tall brunette that is sitting in the row in front of me says confidently and I can't help myself. I like her, just for challenging my new best frenemy.

“He is a hunter!” She finishes off, making a gesture towards her lower regions.

 

“Your pussy is a dude??” Hell yeah. Somehow I think this a capella group isn't going to be as boring as I thought.

 

She doesn't answer, only looks confidently back to Aubrey and how else could it be, head-bitch has still not said enough. She rambles on about how bad the Trebles are, that they _take the power from us if we let them penetrate us._ Gross, now I have stupid pictures of power sucking guys while...you know what I mean.

 

Aubreys voice brings me back, well I have to actually thank her for that, and she seems to still has something to announce. I look over to Chloe and see that she is fixed on Aubrey and now I know the reason why. Aubrey is givingMary Elise an intense glare and I can feel the gears turn in my head. Seriously?

 

Mary Elise starts to squirm under Aubreys intense glare. She even tries to apologise, but Aubrey has none of it. All eyes are on Aubrey as she makes Mary Elise go and the looks follow Mary Elise who has to take even her chair out with her. I am the only one that looks at Chloe, who has gone back to watching the floor.

 

“Was this really necessary?” I feel like I have to defend that girl, she was crying as she ran out of the gym for god sake.

 

Aubrey doesn't take any of this and she sounds as she wants to prepare us for a war. Chloe is giving her a strange look and their eyes meet for a moment. The look they share is all the confirmation I need, something happened that led to this vow.

I seem to have zoned out yet again, cause the next thing doesn't fit, or does it? Aubrey is making gagging noises and Chloe is at her side in an instant. She seems concerned but the rest of us is just confused.

 

Rest of Bellas practise goes over really fast. We learn about Aubreys panic attacks which lead to gagging due to her sensible stomach and share a laugh over what happened at the last ICCA finals, Aubrey puking all over the first rows.

 

Chloe hands us out the schedules for practise and I hate the fact that we are gonna have to do something for our fitness nearly as much as Fat Amy. The songs we pick from are all older than me from what I can see and I get a bit annoyed by that. Again I don't stand a chance in an argument against Aubrey and I get kinda frustrated.

 

Seems like Aubrey is the one to “tune” us, making us do all funny sounds with our mouths while Chloe teaches us the choreography. In between we run up and down the stairs of the tribunes and we actually practise to walk in pumps. I nearly fall down and honestly? I can't see myself as a Bella at all.

 

I watch Chloe trying to help us all with the choreography, we are all so different personalities that I fear we will never make it and this is just the first practise for god sake.

Chloe has a lot to do, especially with Stacie, who can't stop touching her goodies at all. I would laugh at this whole thing, but then I see Stacie bending over and lifting one leg up high. At first I smile as I see Cynthia Rose checking her out without hesitation but Chloe stops right next to her and by the look on her face she likes what she sees a lot.

 

How am I to compare with a gorgeous, tall brunette that obviously has a thing for sex? I feel jealous and I know that. It's not like I know that feeling very well but I do know it. It's the same feeling I got when I heard that my dad replaced me and my mom with stepmonster and stepmonster 2.0.

This time though I can do something about it. I let myself mix up the choreography and Chloe is there in an instant.

 

“Well, I thought you were the best in remembering the moves, guess I was too fast to assume.” She stands right behind me, so close that I can feel the warmth radiate off her. Her words feel like a bullet through my heart, apparently I had impressed her and now I'm just as bad as the others.

 

“No, I can do it.” I try to save myself from the wrong choice I made a few moments ago. “I mean it, I can do it on my own, I was just a bit unfocused.”

 

“You can let me help you, you know? I won't bite.” With that she steps incredibly closer and her arms snake around my torso, her hands grabbing my wrists from behind. She moves my arms through the motions and I can see myself in the mirror in front of us blush, I did it better with her help.

Suddenly the tight grip on my arms vanish and just as I contemplate on doing more mistakes I can feel her hands moving to my hips. She holds on tight to me yet again and my body is flush against hers. I feel myself heating up from the inside as she moves our body along to the choreography, my ass sometimes grinding into her, not that I can help it.

My thoughts start to wander and I can imagine us dancing that close on a party while listening and singing along to _Titanium_.

 


	6. Becoming Chloe Beale Part 1

 

**Chloe's PoV:**

 

Pull yourself together, Chloe. That is what you do best, after all, controlling your feelings.

 

15, that's exactly how old I was back when I first met Richard. I was in a total punk phase back then and had an 'I hate everyone' attitude. When I got home he was just sitting in the kitchen with my mother, drinking coffee and smiling at each other. I remember I made a rude comment along the lines of wanting to puke at the view of those two.

 

Back then I thought it was a one-time thing, but Richard kept coming back. He annoyed me to no end, always asking about school and friends. I was a loner, I was okay with that but my mom insisted on making a big birthdayparty for me. _“You only turn sweet little 16 once!”_

 

 

 

Yeah, not only didn't I get the meaning of the _only once_ back then but as you guessed _sweet_ wasn't exactly how I wanted to be. I remember walking through school with all those stupid invitations, thinking about how I should hand them out when finally I just put them in all the lockers that the school had. There was a bigger motive behind that, I thought a house party with tons of people would be the right revenge for the sweet little sixteen my mum put on the invitations.

 

 

 

By the time the big day arrived I really was excited, mom got me new punky trousers and the AC/DC Shirt-Album combination I was longing for. So there I was, waiting in my living-room, half an hour before the party was announced to start, all dressed up in my new trousers and shirt with the AC/DC CD playing in the background and I just finished applying my favourite black make-up around my eyes.

 

I was so excited that I looked at the damn watch every fucking second, and I did that for the next 2 hours. No one came to the party I didn't even wanna have in the first place. I knew I was a loner but hell, that hurt. I thought at least some people would show up. My mum was really uncomfotable around me, I didn't want her pity and just told her to throw everything in the bin she had prepared.

 

 

 

That's when finally the bell rang. My mom and I exchanged shocked looks but she recovered fast and nudged me towards the door. When I opened the door I was met with the sight of the school nerd. I wanted to slam the door right in her face since I thought I couldn't fall any deeper but the look she gave me, the hopeful glance in her eyes made me crave. She followed me inside after I motioned for her to and that's the story of how I met Aubrey Posen.

 

 

 

She later told me that she thought she was pranked as she found the invitation in her locker and was relieved when she saw others eye their own invitation. The first words she spoke to me were her apologies of being late, but her father wouldn't let her leave if she didn't finish all her homework, including the homework due the next month.

 

Her eyes got wide when she realised she was the only one that actually came. Nevertheless, we became best friends and we still are after all these years, sharing our dorm room at Barden, sharing our spot as Captain of the Bellas, sharing our secrets, hell, even sharing kisses sometimes but this one thing I can't tell her.

 

 

 

Aubrey met Richard that first evening at my disastrous party. He showed up to help my mum clean the place when nothing really was a mess. He exchanged a few hushed words with mum and the next thing I know is that he drags me and Aubrey to his car.

 

I didn't know what was happening until we pulled to a stop in front of an amusement park. Aubrey looked afraid but I was overly excited. He payed for the three of us and I dragged Aubrey to the first ride I could see, some hugh rollercoaster. I remember thinking he would wait at the exit, just like my mum would do but he entered after me, giving me one of his usual smiles. I grabbed Aubrey's and Richard's hands as the ride started and I knew in this moment that I would finally give Richard a chance and try to get to know him.

 

 

 

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By the time I started High School I knew everything about Richard; no, I'm not a stalker but he actually moved in with us. He never wanted to be my new dad but he became a role model for Aubrey and me and so one day I just started calling him dad. He was happy by the way he looked so I kept on calling him that. I think it was because he missed his daughter. I saw a picture of her, an old one. She was around four, I guess and sitting on his shoulders. They share the same smile.

 

 

 

I don't resemble my mum at all. She always told me how much alike I was to my father, from the looks to the attitude. I changed a bit, mostly thanks to Aubrey. I'm not a loner anymore but I only share intimate things with her and not all those “friends” that I fear will turn their back on me.

 

 

 

Aubrey joined the Cheerleaders! I was laughing so hard at that when she told me. I could only imagine what her father would say to that but she did pull it through, until she had to perform at her first football game. I sat between my boyfriend and mum when she started to puke all over the place. She wasn't kicked out of Cheer squad but only because they needed her for numbers. She made me train with her the whole two weeks until the next game. She was ace, and her uniform was making her look prettier than I've ever seen her. She was extra stressed because her father would be watching and then happened something my mom always refers to as fate when you ask her about it.

 

One of the girls didn't show up and Aubrey made me fill her place. I got a spare uniform from one of the other girls and it was a really tight fit. We managed to be pretty good, my whole family impressed and even Aubrey's father put his hands approvingly on our shoulders for some moments.

 

 

 

That's how I started to cheer, and falling in love with dancing wasn't far away. The best thing for me on that faithful afternoon was that my ex-boyfriend, the one that got dumped for making fun of Aubrey at the last football game got to see me walking by in my tight little skirt after all the times I refused to wear something other than my black boots and punky trousers.

 


	7. Crushed Dreams

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

I had one hell of a week. After my first Bellas practice Aubrey told me not so subtly that she has something against me, also telling me I have a toner for Jesse. Really? He's a great guy and he definitly would be one hell of a pick as a boyfriend but there aren't feelings like that. I would love to see her face when I hook up with him in front of Aubrey but that would lead to me hurting his feelings.

 

 

 

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Well, next thing I know I am sitting at a restaurant, eating dinner with my dad and the stepmonster. Baby Stepmonster didn't tag along and I'm happy I only have to endure the other two.

 

Hell, literally, believe me. They are pulling this lovely couply vibe and I feel like I could pull an Aubrey stunt, but then again he pays and the food is really delicious. Sheila is all friendly, asking me about campus stuff and Bellas. Seriously, she knows an awful lot about them. I can't shake the feeling that my dad did some research and told her all about it.

 

When she doesn't speak to me it's all 'Richard this-Richard that'. Did I say hell? Hell sure sounds like a better place to be at the moment. My dad starts to scold me for not visiting my courses as much as he would like me to and I nearly fell out of my chair as Sheila backed me up. I mean really? I just feel like hating her more, trying to be this perfect...well, you know.

 

At least my father leaft that topic be for the rest of the evening.

 

 

 

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The SBT mixer was to put it easily, horribly, awfully shitty. You can put every negative word behind those, doesn't matter. I choose not to take out my, how did Aubrey call them, ear monstrosities. My hair falls perfectly over my ears so you can't see them. It is bad enough that I have to wear this stupid uniform and don't let me start about the scarf.

 

Aubrey was her fury self after the mixer and I just wanted to punch her. We all felt humiliated enough after we couldn't even finish. By the looks of the SBT boys I would guess they weren't even interested in the music, well, can't blame them. But we don't exactly look like Bellas, not at all.

 

 

 

Aubrey even took her anger out on Chloe, who was untypically quiet today. I tried to get a climpse of her eyes but she mostly kept to herself and was fascinated by her feet until we started to sing and _dance?_ If you could call it that. She smiled for the first time and I forgot for a second how awful we sounded. Yeah, she does that to me and that's what's starting to scare me.

 

 

 

When Chloe told us she had nodes and I got myself an explanation to what exactly that is my mood went down even more. I can't believe she chooses to hurt herself by continuing to sing.

 

I thought about that the whole evening, lying on my bed and listening to my newest mix. Not only did I feel bad for Chloe hurting herself by doing something she loves but it also made me admire her more, if possible. The thing is, I wanted to ask her to sing some lines for one of my planned mixes today. It wouldn't be a big deal, right? I thought the bubbly Chloe would just hop on over and I could ask her. Now I think I won't be asking her, ever, even though I have this 'Just the way you are' mix I would have loved to hear her sing. I could never ask her to do something for methat would hurt her, that I know now.

 

 

 

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Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse I realised it was already 4am and I had to be at the station at 10 o'clock, sharp. Great, now I start thinking as Aubrey... _sharp..._ tss.

 

 

 

I arrived five minutes late which wasn't a problem at all and I was still moping around. Stacking CD's, as boring as it was, made me think about a lot of artists and songs, things for me to mix. Normally I would get some inspiration but no, not today. Today mopey Beca was present, thinking about all the songs she would have loved to hear Chloe sing to her.

 

I was giving up on a happy day and Jesse prying didn't do me any good.

 

 

 

"Becaw, tell me. It hurts my heart to see you like this." Just ignore him...

 

 

 

"B-B-B-Becawww. You're all downy mopey! Talk to uncle Jesse!" Seriously?

 

 

 

"Then you leave me no choice..." I swear to god if he tries to tickle me, I will not hesistate to kill him.

 

 

 

 

 

What actually happened surprised me. He did a funny game of pretending vinyl covers were his head. I don't wanna know how he thought of something like that but he actually made me laugh.

 

Luke wasn't that amused but that only amused me more. He made Jesse go out and get him some burgers after proving that his body was in a good shape. Hell those abs were even candy to my eyes.

 

I used his attention to give him another one of my mixes, I just hope he listens to one of them.

 

 

 

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The next day Jesse ambushed me, in the middle of the Universitys park. He wanted me to watch films with him and he even carried a candle. Seriously, didn't I tell him already that I wasn't interested? Not in dating and sure as hell not in movies.

 

 

 

"Jesse, I thought we already discussed this."

 

 

 

"What? Oh, oh. No, this is me teaching you about films, not me flirting." He looks a bit lost.

 

 

 

"And what about the candle?" Try talking yourself out of that.

 

 

 

"Yeah, ok. Busted, happy? I just thought since you didn't make a move on Luke that maybe..."

 

 

 

"J-man, I really do like you, okay? Just not like that. And for the record, I hate movies. Their endings are too predictable." Does anybody really say 'lets be friends?'

 

 

 

"The endings are the best part Beca!"

 

 

 

"Nope, always the same. The guy gets the girl, the kid sees dead people and Darth Vader is Lukes father."

 

 

 

"No you didn't guess the biggest reveal in cinematic history!"

 

 

 

"Vader in Dutch means father! His name is literally Darth Father."

 

 

 

"So you know Dutch, huh? Believe me, one day I will give you a movie education."

 

 

 

He seems serious and I sure as hell could use a friend. Maybe I should just let him show me something and he will give up on it.

 

 

 

"You guys getting ready for the Riff-Off?"

 

 

 

Now he's using that strange language again...I am a teeny tiny bit scared of what will come.

 


	8. Becoming Chloe Beale Part 2

 

**Chloe's PoV:**

 

You all know this ridiculous High School movies where you go from an unnoticed beauty to the next it girl, right? Yeah, I loved those movies when I was like, 12.

My life definitely wasn't that kind. I never became head cheerleader or an actual it-girl of our school.

 

I was a punk then, let's not forget that. Still, Aubrey became quite popular and dragged me along, always, to every damn house party the “famous and rich”, how I called them, held.

Me, I got popular under the unpopular High School population. They found it amazing that I was a well known cheerleader and hated them, but I never found a group that I really fitted into, half of the school hated me because I was behaving different and the other half hated me because they wanted to be like me.

 

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Prom. A night every girl dreams about. Me? Yeah, not really. It wasn't like I wasn't asked out, indeed the last year of High School I found out that a lot of guys really liked my style and I never became attached. I lost my virginity pretty unspectacularly, some boy from college I met at one of the darker house partys I attended. Long-term boyfriend just wasn't my thing, Aubrey was again the total opposite. She dated not more than two guys through the whole High School years, one of them was even her crush in middle school.

 

I declined every invitation I got and rented 4 movies to watch that night. Aubrey's dad was away on a business meeting so my mum told Bree to come over to our house and we would be sending hert stand it anymore so we off. I think she was happy she could at least send one daughter, yes, at this point Aubrey practically lived with us, cause her dad was mostly away, to the prom.

 

Mum was even shopping dresses with Aubrey for god sake! She had everything at our house and did a whole beauty day with bathing and doing nails with mum, I tell you it was creepy. At about noon Richard and me couldn' t stand it anymore and left. We had a beautiful afternoon walking around the park and kicking a soccer ball.

 

I remember it was a hot day and I was dressed in black and green, with my hair put up under a baseball cap and sporting my newest pilot-sunglasses. Probably I looked like a total nut-job but hell I didn't care at all.

So there we were, Richard kicked the ball a bit too far and I had to run after it in the heat of that day. By the time I came back Richard stood there with a woman I didn't recognise and a teenager I knew from somewhere. It was his daughter, I realised it when I stood next to them. She looked quite uncomfortable and Richards ex-wife looked quite shocked.

 

No one expected to see the other that day, Beca's mum had visited some friends there and they wanted to have ice-cream before they left. Richard wanted to invite them but his daughter grabbed her mums hand and dragged her away, stating that she didn't feel like eating ice-cream anymore.

 

That day I hated Richards daughter. He was so hurt and just sat there on a bench, crying silently. It was quite a shock, I've never seen him like this before. I wanted to badmouth his daughter but he wouldn't let me. He explained it all to me, again, told me he did wrong and that he wasn't a good enough man to be a father. I just stood up, went over to the ice-cream booth and bought us two of his favourites. By the time I came back to the bench he looked a bit better. I held the two ice-cream cups in front of him and gave him my brightest smile. He always said it's kids choice where to eat and what to eat when we all went out so Aubrey and me got to eat a lot of fast food.

 

“Today is father-choice day, so choose dad.”

 

I did call him dad before but I think of that day as the day I really got a father, the best I can think of.

 

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So that is how I met Beca. She had really short hair, I did notice her sweet summer dress with butterflies on it but what gave her away as Richards daughter to me that day I don't know. A good guess, I think. Their smile is just the same but she didn't smile that day. She was gone so fast that I didn't even get introduced.

 

To think that that is how I met Beca is kind of sad. We could have been like sisters, except that I hated her secretly for being so rude to Richard.

He tried to get her into meeting us, me and my mom, Sheila, but she didn't show any interest.

 

 

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I had the best afternoon with Richard ever after our ice-cream. We fooled around and nearly killed each other while playing soccer. That day couldn't have gotten better, that is exactly what I thought when my phone rang.

It was my mum, telling me that Aubrey had locked herself in my room, crying her eyes out because her prick of a boyfriend dumped her, prom night of all dates! A whole year of relationship, thrown away for Aubrey's “friend”, head-cheerleader and queen-bee of the school. Reason? Aubrey hadn't slept with him.

She was a wreck. She had planned this day through her whole High School and I think even Middle School. She even wanted to give up her virginity tonight and I was making fun of her the last weeks because that is just so cliché. But she wanted it, the whole cliché and I didn't blame her for it. I mean, not everyone wanted to watch movies and play video games on prom night either.

 

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By the time we got home Aubrey was still not letting anyone enter, and even I couldn't calm her down enough to open up the door. It was nearing 6 o'clock, she was supposed to be picked up at 7.30h. Her father wanted to video-chat at 7. I begged her to prepare and call someone else to take her but she said that she didn't want to anymore. I offered her to have a movie-ton with me, she could even pick and I wouldn't complain.

 

I gave up at half past seven and went down to the kitchen. Mom and Richard were sitting there, drinking tea and I poured myself a generous cup, too.

The whole house was silent, thinking about options, sometimes a particular loud sob could be heard. I knew this stage, in half an hour she would be puke-crying. What is that? Well, sessions of puking, only interrupted by loud sobs or a running nose. We all knew what to come I think.

 

The next time one of the loud sobs could be heard I looked up from my cup and noticed that mum and dad were giving me a look that was creeping through my bones.

They finally had an idea and by now I was willed to do anything to stop the scene upstairs. I didn't even complain when mom dragged me upstairs and pulled out two or three of her fancy dresses that were by now a bit too tight for her. She held them up in front of me and Richard shook his head twice before he and mum settled onto a grey mini-dress that I don't think I ever saw on mom. It had some plaid green applications and I must say, I really liked it-for a dress.

 

By the time mom was pulling my clothes over my head, Richard ran out of the door and he appeared just as I had put the dress on with what I think is all the heels my mum owned at that time. We sorted through twenty pairs of shoes until we found some green ones that fitted myself and looked good with the dress.

 

Mum grabbed a little grey handbag and threw it to Richard who stormed off with it, while swiftly applying make-up to my face.

By the time she was finished I didn't recognise myself in the mirror. My hair looked like it was flowing and for once my make-up wasn't dominated by black. I was glad that I knew how to walk on heels from my aunts wedding and the heels weren't too bad, my ass looked great.

 

I banged again on the door to my own fucking room, telling Aubrey, that if she didn't come out I would call her dad, telling him the story of how we got drunk the last time he was away. After some swearing she finally opened the door. She looked like a thunder struck had just hit her, but when I asked her to go to prom with me the crying started again, only this time it was only two tears of happiness escaping her. She gave me her best Aubrey Posen smile and said that she wasn't looking good enough anymore to take such a beautiful girl like me out.

 

“That is” I told her lovingly, “why I am taking you out.”

 

Mom shooed me away and said something about helping her other daughter getting ready.

I decided to wait downstairs, like a good date would and looked at the clock, seeing that it was already twenty past 7 and Mr. Posen hadn't called at all. Richard handed me over the packed handbag and I checked that I had everything. I noticed 100$ that I definitely didn't had in my purse before and Richard just smiled and told me to enjoy the evening and call a cab for the way back. He had already ordered one to take us there by that time.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

It was like a movie when Bree came down the stairs of my own home, going extra slow, my mum taking lots of pictures, first of Aubrey, then of me and finally of us together.

The cab had blown his horn the third time and we rushed into it, prepared for the best evening we could get.

 

We were definitely the attraction of the evening, Aubrey was sporting a short black dress with 2 big orange flowers on it, one on the left side of her ribcage and one on her right hip, her hair pulled up into a beautiful half-bun thingy and bright orange heels to kill for.

 

Her now ex-boyfriend didn't look amused at all, but all the others were nearly losing their eyes over us. I would have looked the same if I looked into a mirror. We never dressed like that, dress to impress, you know.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

We had so much fun, had pictures taken by the photographer and all. By the time we got home mom and Richard had tidied up my room and when we arrived Aubrey had a look on her face that told me that she had no intention of stopping our date.

 

That night it was me who got the honor of taking her virginity.

 

I had kissed girls before on truth and dare or spin the bottle games, I even had kissed Bree before on those, a lot. That evening felt totally different, for me it was the first time with a girl. I knew that I wasn't straight at all but I never gave myself a label, preferring to live it as it plays out.

 

The kisses felt different, the touches did things to me that I didn't know they were capable of. My room even seemed to be a whole different place. Everything felt new, like I havent slept with Bree in my bed before, well I hadn't, not like that.

 

After we finished I told her that I never wanted to live the High School dream and yet I did. She only looked at me questionably, so I enlighted her.

 

“I got to be the underdog, crushing on my pretty and rich neighbour who gave me a new look and introduced me to her world, just like in one of your films, right?”

 

She turned around, leaning on one elbow and looked deep into my eyes.

 

“And I am the one pretty bitch, that realised at the end that you were always pretty, not just after seeing your new style.”

 

We shared another kiss and she let herself fall back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling for a moment and then breaking out into a laugh.

 

“And don't forget you got to fuck the pretty girl.”

 

“Did I just hear fucking Aubrey Posen use the fucking word fuck?” I couldn't believe it, I was laughing so hard.

 

“So? Only liked me when I was that well educated girl?” She was mocking me now.

 

 

“Nope, I think you just got hotter. Ready for round two?”

 

We had a bashful night, I can tell you. The whole stress of the day long forgotten-it was fun seeing Bree let go like that.

 

Richard and mum though were by the look they gave us the next morning not that amused. Not because of us getting it on the whole damn night, but because I totally forgot that their room was right beneath mine.

 

“Just see it as payback for all those times I had to sleep with my iPod in my ears.” I said with a laugh and we all had to laugh, even Bree whose face was as red as a tomato.

 


	9. From Riff-Off(s) and getting cut off

 

 

**Beca's PoV:**

"Okay aca-bitches! So now you know the rules of a Riff-Off. The thing is, they always remove three old categories and exchange them with some we don't know of. The categories I did remember I wrote onto pieces of paper and I will pick one randomly. This isn't just training for you, always remember that. This is war aca-bitches."

 

Aubrey's been rambling on and on for half an hour. How in the world do you practise spontaneity? At least Chloe seems in a lot better mood today. She's actually smiling at me. Why? I have absolutely no idea.

 

"Okay, Bree. How do we split? I mean, we are 10. Five groups with two people or two with three and one with four?" Chloe's voice seems better, at least she appears to.

 

"Right. I'd say four groups, just like tomorrow. We'll have two with three and two with two people. I will pull names out of this jar and we'll see."

 

She really is prepared, huh? Two jars, one with categories and one with names. Why the hell did I hear of this today when it seems like everyone else knew? I really should listen to head-bitch sometimes...

 

"First team. Fat Amy and, Lily." Uff, that is definitely a crazy combination.

 

"Ehhhhhhh, weeeeeeellll. I don't think aaaaahhh, you know that it's ahhhhhhh fair." That's Fat Amy for you. Lily is mumbling something herself, but I didn't get it.

 

"Okay, then you will be a the group of three. Fat Amy, Lily and Jessica. Next group is...Stacie and, me. Right, then next group of two is Beca and Ashley. And that leaves Denise, Cynthia Rose and Chloe for group four."

 

Okay, shit. I was so hoping I would group up with Chloe but you know what they say about dreams. In a group of three she won't have to sing that much and I can't shake the thought that Aubrey thought that too. Damn nodes.

 

"We'll make an opening round first, no hard category, just female singers. Who would like to start?"

Yeah, Chloe's voice definitely sounds a bit better.

 

"Oh, oh. We will, let's get it started twig bitches!"

 

Now I am curious what Amy's group will bring.

 

**Amy** _"I just can't get you out of my head_

_boy your loving is all I think about_  
I just can't get you out of my head   
boy it's more than I dare to think about"

 

Wow, her voice actually sounds a lot better when she doesn't sing 'The sign'. The others are having little difficulties but soon enough you hear them, at least I hear Jessica doing some background.

 

**Amy** _" I just can't get you out of my head  
boy your loving is all-"_

 

Chloe steps right in front of her and for a secondI had forgotten that this is a competition.

 

 **Chloe** _"All my life I've been waiting_  
For you to bring a fairy tale my way  
Been living in a fantasy without meaning  
It's not okay I don't feel safe"

 

**CR** _"I don't feel safe- ohhhhhh"_

 

Fuck. Me. They really make a good group. It took them like 2 seconds to follow Chloes lead and Denise and CR seem to know exactly the rhythm of each other. Denise makes this melody in the background that just fits into CR's and Chloe's voice.

 

 **Chloe** _" Left broken empty in despair_  
want to breath can't find air  
Thought you were sent from up above  
But you and me never had love  
So much more I have to say  
Help me find a way"

 

**Denise** _"_ _Huuuuhuuu ohhhh"_

 

 **Chloe** _"And I wonder if you know_  
How it really feels  
To be left outside alone  
When it's cold out here  
Well maybe you should know  
Just how it feels  
To be left outside alone  
To be left outside-"

 

That is so my turn now! Ha, what an opening!

 

**Beca** _"Outside  
All around me  
Really sleazy  
Then it hits me  
Don't tell me  
You can't see  
What it means to me  
Me me" _ __  


I kinda feared that Ashley wouldn' catch on but she surprises me by taking the lead for the softer part.

 

 **Ashley** _"Meanwhile_  
In the moonlight  
Purple people  
Unforeseeable"

 

**Beca** _"Lonely  
As they may be  
They'll be peachy  
Then it_ _-"_

 

 **Stacie** _"_ _it down and get real naughty  
girls talk shit, we don't care  
_ _w_ _e'll take off our underwear!  
  
drinking cocktails,  
beers with lime  
all these guys yell "she's a dime!"  
_ _I_ _just wink and blow a kiss_  
while all these girls just bitch and diss”  
  
Judging by the look Aubrey gives her she never heard this song before, we'll can't say that I feel bad for Aubrey. 

_  
_**Stacie** _"come get fucked up!_  
give me my alcohol  
let's get fucked up!  
A-L-C-O-H-O-L  
  
this bitch is trying to take a shot  
she can't down one, what else she got?  
jaeger, vodka, even whiskey  
down that shit, don't be a...  
pussy" 

 

"ENOUGH! Okay, I think this is enough as a test, at least everyone got a song in. I will take a category out of the jar now."

 

She is such a prude! Hell, Stacie's performance was amazing, she did touch herself constantly but she matched every fucking key.

 

 

"So, fate decided to let our next category be...famous duets!”

 

Ashley grabs my hand and before I can even take a breath I hear her starting to sing.

 

**Ashley** _“They say we're young and we don't know  
We won't find out until we grow.”_

 

**Beca** _“ Well I don't-”_

 

Shit, this time Aubrey's interrupting me.

 

**Aubrey** _“ I don't mind doin' it for the kids So come on  
Jump on board, take a ride, yeah”_

 

**Stacie** _“You'll be doing it all right”_

 

**Aubrey** **& Stacie** _“ Jump on board feel the high  
‘Cause the kids are alright”_

 

**Stacie** _"You've got a reputation"_

 

**Aubrey** _"Well I-"_

 

It get's awfully quiet as all eyes are fixed on the small asian girl standing in the middle of the circle we unconsciously made. Her mouth is constantly opening and closing, I know that cause she is facing my way, otherwise I would have the same look on my face as Chloe has; not that I am watching her or something.

 

Aubrey moves from beside me to Lily and tries to catch on to what she is singing and I think I can faintly hear the lyrics to 'Time of my life'.

 

"I'm sorry Lily, but I hear absolutely nothing. You girls are cut off." That's Aubrey for you, looking like the devil when bringing such news...

 

Fat Amy is throwing some curse words around until everyone is watching her.

"Uhhh. Ohhh. At least I can take a seat now."

 

"Jessica, would you pick the next category, please?" Sounded more like an order from Aubzilla to me...Aubzilla, or Aca-zilla. Now stop before you laugh out loud because of your own jokes. Damn pictures in my head...

 

"Okay, so the next category is...Songs ruined by Glee!” Jessica actually squeals as she walks back into our circle. I look helplessly over to Ashley cause I seriously think that I haven't seen more than one episode while channel-surfing one evening. There is some glint in her eyes as she watches Jessica doing a little dance of happiness. Now I know what tv show they were always rambling on about.

 

 **Jessica** “If I should die before I wake   
It's 'cause you took my breath away   
Losing you is like living in a world with no air   
Ohh..”

 

 **Aubrey** “ I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave   
My heart won't move, it's incomplete   
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand”

 

Okay, I don't know the show but at least I know a lot of songs, this one included. Question is, how shall I know what song they covered? I just hope Ashley is fan enough cause I definitely wanna win, not that I would want to impress Chloe or something.

 

 **Stacie** “ But how do you expect me   
to live alone with just me   
'Cause my world revolves around you   
It's so hard for me to breathe”

 

Fuckin' do something Ashley!

 

 **S** **+Bree** “ Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air   
Can't live, can't breathe with no air   
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there   
It's no air, no air   
Got me out-”

 

 

 **Chloe** “Well Sometimes I Go Out, By Myself, And I Look Across The Water.  
And I Think Of All The Things, Of What You're Doing, And in my head I Paint A Picture."  
  


Oh Chloe...I kinda thought you would be a Glee kind of girl, hell I am in an a capella group, sure I'm surrounded by 'such girls'.

  
 **Chloe** "Since I've Come Home, Well My Body's Been A Mess, And I Miss Your ginger Hair, And The Way You Like To Dress.  
  
Oh Wont You Come On Over, Stop Making A Fool Out Of Me, Why Dont You Come On Over, Valerie.

Valerie  
Valerie  
Valerie"

 

I faintly hear CR and Denise supporting her, she just does that to me, sucking my attention up so she can swell in it. Looking at her I feel that we already lost. How could I beat that?

 

 **Denise** "Did You-"

 

 

 

 **Ashley** " I beg you, can I follow?  
Oh I ask you, why not always?  
Be the ocean where unravel  
Be my only, be the water and waiting”

  
Thank god Ashley! Finally she made me snap out of my Chloe induced dreams, not that I was dreaming about her singing only to me, or dreaming about her at all. I settle for the background and join Ash with the chorus.

 

 **Ashley** “You're my river running high,  
run deep run wild”  
  
 **Ash+Beca** “I, I follow, I follow you deep sea baby  
I follow you,   
I, I follow you, dark boom honey  
I follow you”

 

Ha! Everybody looks confused. I think we actually have them there. Ash, I owe you one!

 

 **Ashley** “He's a message, I'm the runner  
He's the rebel, I'm the daughter   
waiting for you  
You're-"

 

 

 **Stacie** “your best shot   
Why don't you hit me with your best shot   
Hit me with your best shot   
Fire away"

 

Everyone is silent and Stacie looks like someone took her cookie away.

 

"Come on guys, Aubrey, you have to know this song!" She looks at Aubrey pleadingly.

 

Aubrey gets red like a tomato and she looks like she's about to puke. Oh shit, please don't. After seeing the video I'm kind of afraid of that happening.

 

CR seems to be the only one able to speak, I mean we all knew that Stacie wasn't the brightest star in the universe but she doesn't seem to get it at all.

"Stace, you made a little mistake there. You matched you are with your."

 

She seems to get it now, judging by the colour of her cheeks. All of a sudden her eyes go wide and she looks over at Aubrey, probably fearing for her life. Yeah, Aubzilla does that.

“I'm so sorry Aubrey.”

 

“Well, I guess we are cut out. At least I hope you all get the rules now.” She is pissed, definitely.

“Next category is-”

 

“Ahhh, Aubrey, let it be category free.” Amy pipes up. Jessica and Stacie nod along and even a faint 'yeah can be heard from lily'. “It would be so much fun!” Jessica adds.

 

“This is not about fun, this is about competition!” Aubrey's voice turns into a high pitched noise.

 

“But Bree,” Ah, the beautiful voice of reason, “today is about fun, tomorrow about competition. Let's save that energy for tomorrow.”

 

Chloe seems to calm Aubzilla down into a little kitten and we are all highly impressed.

“You're right, sorry. Then give it your best, girls.” Wow, she can be nice.

 

We all look at each other, not sure how to start.

 

**Chloe** “ _Seems like everybody's got a price_ _I wonder how they sleep at night_

_When the sale comes first and the truth comes second_ _Just stop for a minute and smile_   
_Why is everybody so serious?_ _Acting so damn mysterious_

_You got your shades on your eyes and your heels so high_ _That you can't even have a good time"_

 

**CR** “ _Everybody look to their left_

_Everybody look to their right_

_Can you feel that? Yeah_

_We'll pay them with love tonight"_

 

_**Denise**_ _"_ It's not about the money, money, money 

We don't need your money-"

 

 

  
That's my cue!

 

 **Beca** “Money money money   
must be funny   
in the rich man's world   
money money money   
always sunny   
in the rich man's world"

 

Everybody starts laughing, this isn't so bad at all. I could imagine doing this the whole year.

 

 **Ash** " ahaaa   
all the things I could do   
if I had a little money   
it's a rich man's world"

I was just about to start when Chloe interrupted me, but she didn't change the song. She got right in front of me, smirking and looking sexy as hell.

 

 **Chloe** " a man like that is hard to find but I can't get him off my mind"

 

She is seriously winking at me.

 

 **Beca** " ain't it sad."

 

 **Chloe** " and if he happens to be free I bet he wouldn't fancy me."

 

She makes a pouty face and points at herself with both of her hands at the fany me part.

 

 **Beca** "that's too bad!"

 

I give her a wink right back. By now everyone has joined singing in the background.

Chloe and me seem to block everyone else out though, at least I only have eyes for her and I really think she is flirting with me!

 

 **Chloe** " so I must leave   
I'll have to go   
to Las Vegas or Monaco   
and win a fortune in a game my life would never be the sa-"

 

Then it happens, her beautiful voice cracks, leaving her making a sound that didn't only hurt our ears but by the look on her face and her hand reaching for her throatit did badly hurt herself. She's standing right in front of me, her eyes tearing up and her cheeks getting red. She looks...ashamed? I'm just about to tell her that she doesn't have to when Aubrey runs up to us, hugging her from behind and turning her around to herself slowly.

 

She looks at me one last second and mouths 'I'm sorry' before crumbling apart in Aubrey's arms.

 

We all just stand there speechless, watching, silently. I so desperately wanted to comfort her, but how? She had to do something about this, by now I was sure about it and I think the others thought so as well. She would need surgery, sooner than later.

 

Aubrey dismissed us and the others started to stroll out of the gym, slowly and silently as not to disturb Chloe who was nestled into Aubrey completely, making silent sniffling noises that sounded like they hurt her as well.

 

I just stood there, rooted to the spot like the last10 minutes, watching as Aubrey and Chloe sank to the bottom, Aubrey stroking Chloe's hair affectionately. A sight I have never seen before and wouldn't have guessed ever seeing, but most importantly, never wanted to witness ever again.

 

Emotionally retarded, that's what my mom calls me, though lovingly, and what I believed I am. It was in this moment that I understood what it really meant and that my mom was right.

I haven't talked to her much lately, still being angry with her about sending me off to Barden but I think I will call her later, asking her how to overcome my problem with emotions other than mine, I can handle them well, at least I think so.

 

Aubrey looks up at me finally and for once I see something other than hate for me in her eyes. She hands me the key to the gym and I nod understandingly. I will clean up and lock up, that is at least something I know how to do after all my shifts at the station.

 

She drags Chloe up and grabs her jacket, dressing Chloe with it. Chloe never brings a jacket to practise, I remember, always stating something like was never cold because her heart was on fire and really, no one could pull such a statement without sounding stupid, but when she does, everybody just laughs and enjoys her banter.

 

I watch them leave through the back door and finally, after what feels like an eternity, I pull myself together and look at the task at hand. We really made a mess, as always I guess and I never thought about Chloe and Aubrey that had to clean up after us. This will take at least an hour alone, great.

 

Just as I grab a broom I hear the doors being opened and I fear for my life. Did I really have to be so cool and throw away the rape whistle? I should have closed up, but as I turn around I see some of the other Bellas strolling back in. Stacie approaches me first.

 

“Hey, we were on our way to a coffee shop when we thought that we should head back over. Jessica, Ashley and Cynthia Rose went to pick up some sweets and booze to cheer Chloe up. They will meet us back here. If we hurry we could be finished by then and head over to Aubrey's and Chloe's apartment.”

 

I nod, it's all I can do. For a moment I was angry that they all just left. Whenever one of them had a problem or was sad Chloe always cheered them up and brought them sweets. Now I realise that they just wanted to give her some space and needed time to figure out a plan. Maybe we are growing together, maybe even like a family. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used (in the right order)  
> Kylie Minogue - can't get you out of my head  
> Anastacia – left outside alone  
> Spiderbait – Calypso  
> Millionaires – Alcohol  
> Sonny and Cher - I got you   
> Kylie Minogue and Robbie Williams – Kids  
> Jordan Sparks – No Air  
> Amy Winehouse – Valerie  
> Lykke Li – I follow rivers  
> Pat Benatar – Hit me with your best shot  
> Jessie J – Price tag  
> ABBA - Money, money, money


	10. Mental Notes

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

 

That is the story how our first 'girls night' started. It really didn't take that long for Amy, Stacie, Denise, Lily and me to get the gym to look like there haven't been 10 crazy young girls in there. I realised after a few minutes that the girls were kinda strange to me, but I didn't get why. Right before we left the building Denise pulled me over, now that was strange. Normally the only ones really talking to me are Fat Amy, well really she is talking all the time; Aubrey, who is like, constantly bitching at me; and then there is Chloe, I mean she talks to everybody, making conversation and focusing on their problems that most of the time I don't even know exist, but then she does that with me too and her smiles...

 

“You okay?” Denise sounds genuine and I feel bad for mostly ignoring her all those weeks.

 

 

“Yeah, sure. I mean, why wouldn't I be?” That didn't even convince myself.

 

 

“You know, we're all worried about Chloe. I mean who will keep Aubrey at bay when she leaves?” She tries to joke, but I feel myself getting angry. Why is this suddenly about us when it should be about her?

 

 

She looks a bit taken aback, not having witnessed me shouting before, but then again I never wanted to say it out loud.

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I wanted to lift the mood, guess that backfired. You can talk to me, you know. I'm a pretty good listener and I had a friend with your problem once. Dealing with attraction is hard, not only on you.” She looks down at her feet for a moment and then it finally hits me. I haven't been subtile at all the last few weeks, have I? Ohmygod, everybody knows about my crush for Chloe by now! Shit- I'm sure she knows it too, their all laughing about it, I just know it. How could I be so stupid?

 

 

“Don't look panicked, I don't think the others have noticed it yet. I mean I can't tell about Lily, but who can? Amy gossips about everyone, no big deal. CR is occupied with eyeing Stacie up who, isn't the brightest and the others only talk about TV shows and stuff.”

 

 

“Right, and Aubrey is always bitching about me having a toner for Jesse, yikes!” I do feel a bit relieved now, maybe talking isn't so bad. Though it should better be someone not involved with the Bellas, Jesse maybe. First I talk to mum, seems like the safest thing to do.

 

 

“You see, everything is okay. If you need someone to talk to that keeps shtum, just talk to me.” She is giving me a smile and I think I appreciate being part of the Bellas for the first time, other than spending time with Chloe, that is.

 

 

“Could you do me a favour? Please tell me when I'm being too obvious about, you know, all this.”

 

 

“Sure, we need a code word though- or something like that.” She is bright, huh? What in the worls is she studying?

 

 

“Just tell me we need to re-watch Rocky together, again.”

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

 

“Where in the world have you two been? We thought we would have to drag you out there. Seriously, one more minute and Lily would have eaten all the damn sweets!”

 

 

“Err, if I remember correctly you helped Lily with that, Fat Amy.” CR fills us in about the whole truth.

 

 

Denise tells the others some story about me spilling some water and helping me wipe it up, CR looks a bit weird our way for a second as we start our way over to the shared apartments of the head-bellas. The whole way we laugh about Amy denying having anything to do with the amount of chocolate that's missing and really, it's so much fun listening to the Bellas arguing, especially when Lily joins and you can't hear a thing while Amy gets louder by the seconds passing by.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

We reach the apartment and right on cue, everyone is silent. The lights are on, but they're dimmed. We have a debate about who will ring and announce us, of course in whispered shouts as not to announce us beforehand. Stacie gets chosen after she exclaims that she doesn't get where the problem in ringing is.

 

The speaker at the door starts to make an ugly noise before we hear Aubrey's voice echoing through it.

 

 

“Bree, it's me, Stacie. You forgot something at the gym.” Smooth Stacie, I'm impressed.

 

 

Aubrey lets us, well technically only Stacie, in and we make our way inside, stopping at their flat door. We kind of hide a bit and as Aubrey opens the flat door and asks Stacie what it is that she forgot I can see Chloe sitting on the couch through the clearance between the dorr and it's frame, looking away from the door.

 

 

“You forgot your friends.” At that Aubrey looks confused for a second but Stacie just steps inside, heading over to Chloe and we use this distraction to head right after her. I'm the last to walk in, having my hands free and closing the door behind me. Aubrey looks at me and I can actually make out a smile. For the first time I feel that we are on common ground, we both look charmed by the 'family' we got ourselves there. 

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

Chloe was happy, really happy. She smiled, a whole evening of smiling. She didn't talk at all, writing the most important things on a paper and showing it around, but really, she didn't have to. We were all happy just spending time together and for once, it didn't stay at the topic of a capella. At ten Aubrey got the idea to order pizza and we all looked quite shocked that she was the one to suggest it. Jessica gave Ashley 5$ with a frown on her face and I imagine they were betting on Aubrey never eating 'unhealthy' food.

 

 

Needless to say we ate a lot, drank quite a bit after it and were now ravishing the remains of the sweets we brought. It turned out that Chloe isn't a chocolate kind of girl, to our amusement as we thought back at the argument on our way over and Jessica gladly informed Aubrey and Chloe about why exactly we were laughing like maniacs.

 

Amy went out to buy some more booze and I tagged along, declaring that no one should walk around alone at night. I had been scared enough myself quite a few times by now, thank you. Then there was the fact that I had learned through the evening that Chloe is totally obsessed with Skittles, Aubrey always handing hers over to her, but I wouldn't walk through the dark, cold streets for twenty minutes with a half drunk Amy rambling beside me just because I wanted to get Chloe some more Skittles. I mean it, I wouldn't...if I wasn't intoxicated myself.

 

 

We all were intoxicated though, except for Chloe who had taken pain meds, that is. There is something you should know about me. I am a total lightweight, like seriously. When others start to feel it I normally am well smashed. I remember that while I walk through the night and make a mental note not to drink much more.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

Remember me not to go shopping with Amy ever again, not clothes, not shoes and especially NO FUCKING BOOZE! She flirts with the store guy, quite successfully may I add, but still it's gross. I wander off, buying some other sweets as well, you know, not to look like I was only out for Chloe, which I wasn't. Out for Chloe- I start to giggle at my own joke as I come to a halt next to Amy at the counter and she and her...flirt?...look at me weirdly.

 

 

Next mental note of the evening, never go to that store - ever again- even if it's the one closest to your dorm and normal route through college.

 

“Yeah babes, no more booze for you, tiny one.” Amy is laughing her ass off, making fun of me the whole way back and I find myself whishing for some thieves of kidnappers along the way. Needless to say that whishes never come true, at least not mine.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

 

The evening is full of mental notes but I fear most of them I won't remember the next day. CR, Stacie and Aubrey are smashed as we arrive with the goods. They're giggling and rolling around the floor and that's when I remember that as much as I hate Aubrey, she is just a human, not some alien sent to earth to drill everyone to death with her workouts.

 

 

Jessica and Ashley had it the worst though. Poor girls had early classes tomorrow. Seriously, who holds early classes on a saturday morning, must be the devil itself. I would sleep till noon, when my shift at the station would start. Stacking CD's being a reason to get out of bed was shitty as well but at least I could do it with a hangover.

 

 

When they announced that they had to leave the only thing I hoped was that no one would call the evening off, but Chloe wrote them a 'thank you for coming' and 'sad you already have to go' kind of note and I was happy that I would get more time with her. Denise approached us and asked the girls to take CR with them as they were living in the same dorm. She was nursing a beer herself but didn't seem drunk at all. She was being reasonable and Chloe nodded along with her, I started to as well as I gave one last look to a totally drunk CR.

 

 

The three made their leave and CR didn't even protest to much after hearing that we would look out for Stacie and Bree, who were by now sleeping on the floor. Denise went back over to Lily and Amy who were playing a game of cards and by the look on Amy's face I would guess that Lily was winning.

 

That also meant that Chloe and I were left alone, sitting on the couch and staring at each other. It was awkward, with it always being her that kept the conversation going I never imagined such a degree of awkwardness was possible with her. It took every nerve Ihad in me to start a conversation myself and yes, being tipsy helped. I started rambling about how nice I found the flat and th interior. Chloe pointed at different objects, like the small table in front of the tv, that was made out of big Lego pricks, and then at herself. Clearly she wanted to tell me what she made. There was a wall with pictures of mostly Chloe and Aubrey but some she took at practises as well, showing the other Bellas. To my surprise she pointed at Aubrey and I felt my eyes going wide, what only made her smile grow. Maybe bitchiness was Bree's way of showing affection.

 

 

I told her something about Kimmy Jin and how bad my luck was for ending up with her as a room mate. She had to stifle a laugh as I told her about all the koreans she always had over when I wasn't around, thinking that I wouldn't be back that early.

I didn't even notice when I started getting touchy, I absolutely never do that and I would deny it when you told me that I did, Chloe just smiled and munched her Skittles. This went on for quite some time before Denise called my name, making me look over to the trio I had forgotten even sitting at the table. Amy and Lily obviously stopped playing in order to give me some strange looks and by strange I mean that Amy was gaping and Lily looked like she just killed someone.

 

 

“Beca, I just remembered that we wanted to re-watch Rocky again sometime.” 

The others looked confused between me and Denise, clearly not having expected that we have been hanging out, which was true. I just gave her a smile and a nod before turning around to Chloe and subtly clearing some space between us.

 

 

Chloe's look was priceless. She's the only one of the Bellas that nows about my dislike in movies after it came up in a conversation. I had to hide a smirk and distracted her by handing her some more skittles. It was good to have someone watching out for me, having my back. Again, a first for me. Maybe Barden really wasn't that bad.

 

 

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The rest of the evening passed really quick, I mean, I was occupied with Chloe and not letting my...crush...show. After Amy finished the last bottle of beer and declared Lily a cheater we got our stuff and made our way over to the door. Chloe seemed tired and Bree and Stacie still hadn't awoke so we just threw some covers over them and let them sleep.

 

 

By the time I got to my dorm I was totally spent, we had to half carry Amy across campus but I think between Lily, Denise and me we made it. Kimmy Jin was already asleep and believe me, nothing could wake her after she fell asleep. She never changed the ring tone of her alarm, it being obviously the only thing that could wake her up. Needless to say I was thinking about turning it into my phone ring tone for messages AND incoming calls...

 

 

I fell asleep pretty fast only to awake shortly after, having dreamed about Chloe and me, having a holiday at a beach. I'm so done for.

 

The last mental note from that evening was to never look at the profile picture she put on my phone by herself again before sleeping, never again. It clearly isn't my fault that it is one of her blowing me a kiss. I made a witty remark about it when she took it, telling her I would change it to a monkey. Needless to say I couldn't bring myself to do it, right? She wouldn't want me to anyways, right? Right?

 


	11. Expect the Unexpected

 

**Chloe's PoV:**

 

Bree and me were the best of friends, even more so after we relieved all that pent up sexual attraction we had for each other. The days following our little adventure were a bit awkward obviously, but we managed just fine. We had already applied to the same universities and I will never forget that day when she ran over to my house and I heard her shouting all over the street that she got an acceptance letter from Barden University. It was only rational thinking that I would go there, after all Richard worked there and he may have had a little chitchat with some people so that Aubrey would get in, too. Not that she wasn't good in school, hell no. She was better than me, but Barden wasn't one of the popular Universities and they sure were thinking why the hell Aubrey wouldn't attend one of those.

 

Aubrey's dad was the biggest problem. In his eyes her grades weren't that good, at least not for a Posen, and of course Barden wasn't his idea of his daughters future. Richard gave him quite an earful and that's all we needed to make it happen. One week before the semester started Richard came home with a big smile, obviously he wanted to tell us something. The Posens came over for dinner and even though I tried, I couldn't get the news out of him before they arrived and sat themselves down. I was annoyed but he said that his life depended on him waiting till Aubrey and her dad were there. 

Derek, how Mr. Posen assured me to call him now that I am an and I quote “respectful young woman” had for once opted to were a polo-shirt instead of a suit. Needless to say that it gave me the chills, I mean, since when id he so friendly.

 

 

Turns out he wasn't so bad after all. He was going to leave for europe due to his work but he didn't want to see Aubrey all by herself. Inside I was already dancing, I finally would get that sister I always wanted with Bree moving in with us. That's when Richard and Sheila spoke up, nearly at the same time bursting with all the pressure.

 

 

Between the three of them they bought us a flat. They didn't rent it, they actually bought it. A place for ourselves, something every teenager dreams about and we had it, right after High School. We promised to give it our best and celebrated the whole evening.

 

 

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We renovated the whole flat and you can see us both represented in the furniture. There is a theme for every room, strictly followed by Bree but then there is some odd addition I made but still it fits, kind of. I was so proud when Beca asked me yesterday about the table made of Lego bricks, it really was my masterpiece. Bree's _wall of friendship_ , yes that actually the term he uses for it catches the eye whenever someone enters the flat. She calls me nerdy for being a bit obsessed with video games, tv shows and some toys that are made for people at least 15 years younger than me but really, she is the one pretending to have a bitch persona just so she can silently make pictures and photo albums adorned with cute little butterflies and flowers.

 

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It's still early so I try to be as silent as I can in the bathroom and head over to kitchen to make us breakfast. The whole night I've been dreaming about Beca and it's starting to drive me crazy. At least the good weather lifts my mood. It had been rainy the last couple of days and that is not something we need for the riff-off tonight or we can really swim in that pool.

 

I stop making toast for a minute, having an inner debate with myself yet again. Bree still has no clue about Beca and Richard's connection and I don't know if I should tell Bree at all. She is fiercely protective of her family and yes, that includes my family of three. Richard has been so good to us and really, I sometimes feel like betraying him by feeling so much lo...err affection for his daughter who, really treats him like shit. 

 

Mum told me about their family dinner when I went over yesterday. I told them that it would be best not to include me into them since Beca still doesn't know about our connection. That again makes me feel like I'm lying to both my family and Beca.

A couple of months ago I never bothered to hide the truth and now? I just don't know what to do anymore. I told you that it's driving me crazy. The only thing I know is that if I tell Beca the truth she will avoid and hate me till the end of my days. Do I want that? Obviously not. If I tell my parents that I feel attracted to my stepsister- no, even if that wouldn't go wrong it would lead me to option one, so I can't do that. Talking to Aubrey would definitely lead to her making Becas life even more miserable. But seriously, I need to speak with someone.

 

 

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I hear the door to Bree's room creek as it's being opened and that finally takes me out of my internal misery. That really is a welcomed distraction, even though I still haven't made up my mind. Talking or not talking to Bree, that is the question.

 

“Your up early.” I need to buy me some more time.

 

“Hmmpfff...” She seems chirpy this morning.

 

Hangover is a state no one likes to be in and no one can avoid entirely. I hand her some water and painkillers which she gladly takes. She grabs a plate of food and starts munching on it, sometimes making those cute sighs she does when she feels happy. Ust as I'm about to drift off in my head again she clears her throat.

 

“You were flirting yesterday.” Shit! I thought she was too drunk to pay attention.

 

 

“NO! No! No...maybe.” I'm so done for.

 

 

“Stop pretending. I saw you and I know you so no lying to me anymore. You were flirting while you sang and even after your breakdown all it took was a bit of me rocking you and her entering this apartment with skittles.” She is talking all knowingly and even though it annoys me to no end, it's just so damn Aubrey to do something like that while looking like death herself with that hangover.

 

 

The thing is that she is right. I tried to deny it to myself but I do feel something for Beca. I was so good at controlling emotions and now I feel like all I can do is think about her and the problems that my attraction provides.

 

“You're getting lost in your head, you know. You always do that when our talk becomes serious. I may be not too fond of Beca but I can totally see how happy you are whenever she's around. The question is, why does one Chloe Beale, the social butterfly that always jumps head first into a new love, suddenly not act on her feelings? You're not the shy girl, you never were, so why start that crap now?”

 

 

That's Bree for you, honest, but brutally so. Tell her or don't tell her? Shit- I just tell her and fuck you consequences. 

 

 

“Beca is Richards daughter.” Simple and fast.

 

She looks shocked for a moment and then just as I predicted her cheeks turn this shade of red and her nostrils start to flare, sure signs that she is about to burst.

Luck seems to be in my corner this morning, though. Right before Aubrey can burst her bedroom door creeks again and a very naked Stacie walks out. I had totally forgotten about her staying over until now. Stacie just walks into the bathroom, obviously still half asleep and while I stare at the tattoo on the right side of her lower back, some sort of flower that stretches down over her right butt cheek I finally put two and two together. My head snaps from Stacie's backside to Aubrey who is still staring at the door that Stacie went through.

 

 

“Bree, you wanna tell me something?” She looks at me, blushing fiercely. “Really Bree? Stacie, of all the people? You know how CR feels about her, right?”

 

 

“Yeah, I do. Don't make me feel guilty. She just - we were drunk and she told me she had never done it before, so we spoke about it and”

 

I interrupt her, that is something I can't deal with right now. My plate is full with all the crazy things happening in my life and I need to sort them out. At least Stacie safed me from Aubrey's wrath.

 

 

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The rest of the morning was pretty quiet. I watched reruns of Pretty Little Liars and I swear, you always notice things you didn't the last time. Bree was annoyed at first, but she only went to get something when the ads were on, she so likes this too, she just won't admit it.

 

 

Stacie left after breakfast and no one brought the topics from this morning up. I really should have guessed that. Though pouring my heart out to Bree didn't turn out the way I feared, I still feel like it didn't help at all. Maybe I should talk to one of the Bellas. CR seems like a person to talk to about this and who would she tell? No I think she is loyal and honest. On the other hand I feel bad for not telling her about Bree and Stacie's -err- experiment.

 

 

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I finally decided to talk to CR after deleting and rewriting about 20 messages. This inner turmoil I have really is getting the better of me. Bree was right, I don't act like myself at all.

 

**CR, you OK after tonight? Hungover? - xC**

 

It took some time but eventually my phone vibrated.

 

**Yeah, no. Not anymore. You guys okay over there? - xCynn**

 

 

**BTW, since when do you call me CR? Beca's influence is big, huh? - xCynn**

 

 

 

**Haha, yeah maybe. Okay Cynn, better? We're all good I guess. - xC**

 

Am I really that obvious? At least I won't have to explain too much.

 

 

**No, no. Stick to CR. No one calls me Cynn anymore, I mean only one knows me as Cynn on this campus. CR is good, I'm gonna use that myself. So, there a reason you wrote? Come on girl, spill it. - xCR**

 

 

**Meet me for coffee? Really could use some advice but you have to keep shtum! - xC**

 

 

It took her some time to reply but after 10 minutes my phone finally announced a new text.

 

 

**Coffee across the gym, 20 minutes? - xCR**

 

 

 

**Sure thing. C U soon! - xxC**

 

 

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As I run around the last corner I see Cynthia Rose already waiting for me. I'm not that late, only 5 minutes or so.

 

“Sorry, hope you didn't wait long.”

 

She assures me that she didn't and we enter the coffee shop. This is my usual place, so when Rita, the old lady that owns the shop, sees me entering she starts to prepare my order. I always order the same, so in no time I have an english breakfast tee and a big cookie in front of me. CR just laughs at this and orders herself a latte and a croissant. 

 

We sit for nearly 10 minutes, silently sipping our drinks. I just don't know where to start. Thankfully CR starts the conversation for me.

 

“So, I guess there is a reason that your pretty head seems so occupied?”

 

“That obvious?” I feel pathetic.

 

 

“You know,” she uses this soothing voice, “anyone knows your troubled but the others just put it down to your nodes. I have this suspicion and I think by you calling me for help you confirmed it. Else you would have talked to Bree or Beca, right?”

 

 

“I tried, I tried talking to Bree...” I did, didn't I? After Stacie left she just pretended that this evening never happened.

 

 

“So Bree's not okay with the, you know, lady loving? That could be a big problem not just for you, but for the whole Bellas.”

 

 

“No, that's not it. Bree is actually bisexual herself. But I'm curious, how did you know that I was attracted to girls?”

 

 

She laughs for a moment before she answers.

“You remember that first practise we had as Bellas? You were checking out Stacie. Why? Trying to hide it? Please tell me this is not a conversation about leaving the closet?”

 

 

“Nope. Been out there for quite a while, actually. This is a lot more complicated than only being attracted to Beca. This story might take a while, but promise me you keep shtum.”

 

 

“Sure thing, Red. I'll always be there for you, how would Amy put it? Twig Bitches?” 

 


	12. Parents, Frenemies & Friends

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

 

I feel like something crawled into my stomach and died there. Alcohol and me sure are no buddies, somehow I didn't put up a resistance against it in High School. One would think that at my age you could at least handle some fluid toxic...

 

 

At least this shitty feeling I have since I woke up from Kimmy Jin's alarm this morning allowed me to make a plan for today. The riff off will be at midnight, so that leaves me enough room to actually have a phone call with mum. I swear that when she starts talking she will go on for hours and hours. Jesse texted me earlier this morning that we have a lunch date at 1, sharp. I think he tried to sound as Aubrey, what is kinda funny. With a glance at the clock I told him to meet at 2pm, instead of noon. As I said, my stomach is not up for anything other than herbal tea right now, needless to say that I don't own something like that. 

 

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

“Heart residence, Carmen speaking.”

 

“Mum, I know that you know that it's me calling. You don't have to do that speech all the time, I know our shitty little house and you cant call it a residence!”

 

Jeez...she really has a strange kind of humor. Now you know why I am how I am.

 

 

“Oh, says my sarcastic bitch of a daughter.” She is laughing hard and it feels so good to hear that again. I really should call more frequently.

 

 

“Good to hear you mum.”

 

 

“What? My daughter not being sarcastic? That sounded pretty honest, you're loosing your touch.”

 

 

I really don't know what to say to that. You always hear about that kind of mum who can read their daughters like books and mine really is one of them. She doesn't even have to see me to know that something is wrong.

 

So the next thing she asks shouldn't surprise me. I never call, she always has to so she knows something is fishy. The thing is, while I'm normally pretty direct about my approach, she tries to smoothen the air a bit beforehand.

 

She asks about my courses and extra activities and she nearly faints from all the laughing as I tell her about the Barden Bellas. When she starts talking about my dad I block her and tell her to change the topic.

 

“Okay, then how about you tell me the actual reason behind this call?”

 

 

So I do. I tell her about the activities fair, where I've first been asked to join the Bellas, the shower I took and how bluntly this one girl violated my privacy. Then I tell her about the practises and her nodes and how she just fights and never gives up. The Bellas became my friends and they stick up for me and I tell her about them and their behaviour, then about the rivalry with the Trebles and my friendship with Jesse, which is still a bit sore.

 

She only has one question for me though, and it's the one that I've been dancing around all the time. _Do I love Chloe Beale?_ I do, I really think that for the first time someone else is more important than myself or my music. Hello? I joined an a capella group for god sake!

 

Mum is silent but after a long breath she just tells me to describe her and I start telling her all about her behaviour and her beautiful eyes but I don't tell her her name. She has phone conversations with dad from time to time and I don't need him to know. I mean, there is a great chance that he actually has her as a student! He can't keep shtum about anything.

 

 

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I'm 15 minutes late by the time I make it to my _lunch date_ that Jesse assured me of was not an actual date and I want to believe him. How do you say? Benefit of the doubt? 

He didn't lie, it's a small corner restaurant and he knows everyone there or so it seems. We order some burgers and fries and I feel relieved that the awkward tension that surrounded us the last time is nowhere to be, well you know, felt.

 

 

He seems exited about something and when it finally bursts out of him I feel really proud that he is my friend. There is this small film production group near campus and he scored a job there over spring break. Not that much money, but he get's to do what he dreams of. I still haven't written any applications for clubs even though I wanted to do that a month or so ago. My mind really seems occupied.

 

We talk about the job for a bit until I finally decide to tell him about Chloe. He is the only one on campus I can talk to, I figured. Obviously I could talk to the other Bellas, but Chloe is their friend too and I guess that if they had to choose sides they would pick hers.

At least Denise is on my side and I can use the second pair of eyes and if Jesse would help me out as well then maybe I could plan something to reveal my feelings in a not totally embarrassing kind of way.

 

 

His whole face lights up and for a moment I think that he got something wrong.

“Beca, I sure thought that you just pretended to like women to reject me. Thank god, I'm not that bad.”

 

 

We had a laugh, for the second time since I met him he actually was funny and not, you know, his usual self. He promised to help me out and yet again I feel like Barden really isn't that bad.

 

 

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The riff off is over, the trebles won. How could this be? We were so damn good. Chloe didn't interrupt anyone and I feel like that has to do with the fact that her throat still hurts or maybe she was afraid that her voice would break again. I still could hear her in the background if I focused enough and with Jesse trying to encourage me to sing I made a hasty desicion and started ' No diggity'. It was a blast. All the groups, except the Trebles of course started to join us and it made me feel a rush I didn't know being possible.

 

Needless to say that Aubzilla wasn't pleased with us not winning but I couldn't care less. We had fun and for once we didn't sing that shit on her stupid list. We didn't even do that _one two three – aaaahh_ thing, or was it _one two – ahhhh_? You see what I mean. With Aubrey being the dictator she is we will never be a good group.

 

 

I left with Jesse after arguing with Aubrey, mostly because I know that that would get her even more furious but then again, I wanted to show him something about me, something I never showed anyone before. It felt right after all the things he tells me about him. He wasn't that interested in my mashups, he didn't get how it works, but he liked them and that is all I can ask for.

 

 

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Mum interrupted our movie, not that I minded, I didn't even want to watch it but after Jesse listened to me it was the least I could do.

She wanted to ask how the evening went and she told me that she would be at sectionals. I was right, she did call dad and he offered her to stay at their guest room for that weekend. How can she be so okay with that? It feels like I'm the only one still hating him for what he did.

 

At least she will be at sectionals, if we make it that far with Aubzilla, that is something I'm looking forward to. She never was that found of me making music but she seems to be proud of me joining the Bellas. Somehow I can't shake the feeling that it has something to do with the fact that she wants to meet the people that changed me, especially that red headed goddess that I've told her about.

 

Maybe I exaggerated a bit at the phone but it felt good to let out all those bottled up feelings.

 

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Aubrey isn't just a tyrant or a bitch. She so is an aca-bitch forcing us to do everything she wants! I will forever call her Aubzilla. Shit, why do I even care so much? These girls have could so rock the stage if we could just use some up to date music and do a meshup but no – Aubzilla won't have it.

 

Chloe, sweet sweet Chloe, who can't do the solo what is a big down, because her voice is so beautiful actually suggested me to take her part. She believes in me, of all the great singers we have she just choose me and it felt so fan-fucking-tastic that she spoke up to Aubrey for me. The best part is, that though I've never showed her my mixes she just stuck up for me and told Aubrey that my ideas are good. She just makes me fall in love with her more and more and that scares me.

 

 

It's when I get home, plopping onto my bed, that I realise that she is the one person to crush me. I mean, I've spent all those years since my old man left us building up these walls so no one could reach me, especially not emotionally and not on that level.

Yet here I am, in love with a Barden Bella, having friends for the first time since I was little and I can count on them. I'm happy that Fat Amy got the solo, I'm sure she could pull at least some fun thing that would make us stand out.

I hear the melody to 'Bulletproof' through my dorm room and Kimmy Jin looks up from her books. Wow, now I know that she does hear something when she learns. Normally, she just ignores everything around her.

 

“You're not jumping up to get your phone, does that mean that it's not from the one that makes you go crazy?” Maybe I did jump up and ran to the phone whenever 'Titanium' started to play. Great, now even Kimmy Jin knows that there is someone I'm interested in. who would have thought that the creepy girl actually pays attention?

 

 

I just answer her with a huff and grab my phone, opening the text message.

 

“Crazy white girls...” I ignore her statement.

 

**Hey, wanna do something tonight? I could grab pizza and come over.**

**Oh, and I printed you a summery of** _**Rocky** _ **so if anyone asks, you at least know what it is about ;) - xD**

 

 

As if someone would actually ask me about that stupid movie. I don't have to go to the station this evening, so I guess having a friend over is only normal student behaviour and I'm trying to be just that, right? No. I'm never gonna be like that.

 

 

**As long as you don't bring a movie with you. Be aware, Kimmy Jin is here. - xB**

 

**Sure thing. Will be over soon, maybe we can get rid of her? - xD**

 

“Err, hey Kimmy Jin. I don't know if you can actually hear me but I'll be having a friend over.”

 

She just looks at me like I'm some sort of freak and tries to stare me down for a good minute.

“I'll sleep at a friends then, just promise me that you will have no funny business on my bed.”

 

With that she stands up and leaves. I never thought that it would be that easy to get rid of her.

 

 

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Denise arrived 2 hours ago and I'm still not bored. We released some of our anger over Aubrey and ate a very delicious pizza. We have a lot in common and that surprises me.

I still didn't get her to talk about more private things but right now we're telling funny stories of our time at Barden. She doesn't believe me when I tell her how Chloe made me audition and then she just burst out laughing when she realises that this is so Chloe do to something like that.

 

 

She asks me about my parents and I tell her a summary of it, not really wanting to go into detail. I think her situation is even worse, she's in love with a girl too, but when her parents found ot she had to end it. My mom really is the best, it wasn't an issue at all when I told her about it yesterday.

 

Before I know it Denise is crying and I have to comfort her. She told the girl that she never wanted to see her again when really she just was too afraid to speak up against her parents.

I can't handle emotions well and fortunately she stops crying pretty fast, even going so far asbeing embarrassed that she cried at all. We change the topic to lighter themes again and the rest of the evening is pretty awsome.

 

She likes my mixes which run in the background the whole evening and I like the pictures she draws. She's an art student and she never leaves her room without something to draw on. She's been drawing on and off through the whole evening, drawing things in my room and there are some of me. We decide that it's best if she sleeps over, you know, Barden by night is creepy and her dorm is by far the creepiest, at least that's what Amy said to me who is in the same building.

 

 

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Before we went to bed I did my nightly routine of working on my mixes for at least two hours and Denise just plopped herself on the floor and started drawing. I could get used to this. Maybe if I stay at Barden we could share a room next semester.

 

Shit, did I just think about staying?

 


	13. Arrested?

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

 

You've ever been arrested? No? You should, going to the police station and having everyone look at you is so much fun. You wouldn't know unless you've been there, believe me.

 

I had to wait in a cell till it was my turn to explain myself and why in the world I'm there. A cell full of actual criminals and very drunk people, stashed in the back to sober up. At least we were divided into male and female, with just so much as a few bars between us. The males from next door cheered and whistled at me. This so wouldn't have happened if would ware my normal clothes.

 

Wanna know how I got here? Better sit down. This may take a while.

Regionals day came pretty fast and I'm pleased that we finally looked better when doing the choreo and we actually sounded okay. The songs were still shit, but you know, one can only do as much with Aubrey Posen as their leader.

 

I was trying to get the Bella's uniform into place and failed that bad that Kimmy Jin actually offered to help me. With her help it did only take half the time I had spent before trying and maybe she has a heart, after all. So as her friends arrived, obviously planning a vide game evening I told them to sit on my bed to have a better view at the TV on Kimmy Jin's side.

 

We may not be friends, but we have some common ground to walk on, or so it seems.

 

I had to walk through the whole campus in that silly flight attendant uniform and all I could think about was that I hope no one recognised me, that would be just too much.

We divided into two groups of five people so Aubrey and Chloe could drive us to Carolina University with their cars. Surprisingly Stacie was the first to sit down in a car and even more so since she choose the co-driver's seat of Aubrey's car. Who would actually want to drive a whole hour next to Aubrey?

CR, after looking between Stacie and Chloe, made a loud sigh and sat down in Chloe's car, just behind the driver' seat. I jumped into front seat before anyone could start arguing, still I heard them arguing, so much to that, I thought.

Finally only Amy's voice could be heard over the others, even Aubrey's voice that was by then so high pitched that I could feel a headache already building up. Amy sat down with Jessica and Ashley in the back of Aubrey's car and that left Denise and Lily, who squeezed themselves into the back of our car. A good thing that Lily is so small or she wouldn't have had much room. While Aubrey's car was a van, Chloe's was a Mini, so not that much room left in the back and I couldn't shake the feeling that Fat Amy choose Aubrey's car exactly for that reason.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

 

All I remember from the drive to Carolina is, that Chloe's choice of music wasn't at all what I expected. It was a mix of different types of music, still I wouldn't have pegged Chloe with AC/DC or Linkin Park, but there she was, humming along to _Points of Authority_.

 

I must have been staring at her for too long because Denise spoke up, starting a conversation with me. Just some stupid topic about that evening a few nights ago, but it worked. She made a point to tell me, that her cat _Rocky_ was feeling better. It took me a second but then I smiled, an actual smile and told her that it was great news. She really became a good friend and we had a lot of fun over the last days.

I remember CR giving me a strange look as I turned back around to look out of the window. Maybe she was on to something but seeing us drive into the city of Carolina my thoughts were interrupted.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

Ever thought the Bellas are strange? Yes? Then you sure as hell haven't seen the Soccapellas yet, believe me.

Our performance went pretty well, at least I think so. I had a bit of trouble staying focused. Between Stacie's sexual innuendos while dancing, Fat Amy, that really rocked the song on her own way and Chloe who sang _Eternal Flame,_ this irritatingly beautiful love song like she was singing it for one person only. Obviously I wished that it was just me, sitting in the first row of an empty auditorium with her on stage, singing this sickeningly sweet love song to me and me alone.

 

I will deny I've ever thought this if anyone would ask but there were definitely butterflies in my stomach.

 

 

Jesse loved our performance and it did give me a rush to know that we at least didn't suck. I wanted to wish him good luck but Aubzilla practically shoved me away. It turned out he didn't need it, the Trebles were amazing, aca-amazing if you would like to say so. Bumper stayed in the background and Jesse took the lead and I think that was a wise choice of Bumper, if you could call anything coming from him wise.

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

Unsurprisingly, the Trebles won but we made it in second, meaning we would be on the Sectionals, or the semi-finale how it's called by Chloe. That also means, that my mum will come to Barden and I am happy about it. I do kinda miss her.

 

But back to the story how I got myself arrested. I was still congratulating Amy on her standout performance as we left the auditorium after the Treblemakers. Some older guys were arguing with the Trebles and wanted to start a fight. One of them repeatedly asked Jesse to hit him with their trophy but Jesse, being this soft kitten he is was lost on what to do.

 

Amy was already talking about wrestling with animals and I excused myself before Jesse got hurt. I punched that older guy square in his face and believe me when I say that I never knew how much a punch would hurt. From there it just got worse and worse. I tried to stop Fat Amy from hitting the guy with the trophy she held like a baseball bat. He actually begged her to do it, some weird people you meet on a capella competitions.

 

While we tore at the trophy it broke, Amy's end flying through a damn window. The police officer stationed outside approached before I could even clear my mind and of course I still had part of the trophy in my hands.

 

I've never seen Fat Amy run like this before, I think I even heard her shouting _Vertical running_ but I can't be sure, I was so shocked.

 

 

 

The officers just looked at me like I'm some kind of retarded person, they didn't believe me one bit. Did you? I wouldn't hold it against you, believe me.

 

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

I'm back in the cell now and the girls in there, the ones not knocked out by alcohol at least, lay comforting hands on my shoulders. They weren't that bad, not at all really criminals, except from Mira who had actually stolen some candys the others were either prostitutes, drunks or people who got in a fight, like me. I was by far the youngest and everyone was interested in my story, so I told them, everything.

One of the girls even gave me their coat after seeing that I was cold and all I can think about right now as I leave is 'Since when did I become so good at socialising?'.

 

I leave the building and I can already see Jesse waiting for me. Thank god for Jesse, it would have been so embarrassing seeing my old man bail me out.

 

“Hey, Hilary Swank from Million Dollar Baby.” You and your movies Jesse.

 

 

“Hey, you know you just have to say 'Hey Million Dollar baby' you don't have to reference the specific actress.” Wouldn't know her anyway.

 

My good mood is showing, the evening wasn't so bad at all.

 

“Damn, prison changed you.” He's joking along with me and that feels even better.

 

“Thanks for bailing me out.” And hell am I thankful. He will get a whole movie marathon for that.

 

 

“Well, I didn't.” Oh no, no no no.

 

I recognise the BMW immediately. This cannot be happening to me. Goodbye future, hello torture.

 

“You called my dad?”

 

Jesse tries to tell me how serious it looked as the police took me away. How did he even get his number?

 

Dad is freaked out, properly freaked. He yells and doesn't even lets me explain myself, telling me that he won't support my dream of going to LA.

 

Jesse and me sit in the back of his car, my dad on 'ignoring Beca' mode. I'm still pissed at Jesse but he was a better choice to sit next to than my dad.

 

“Aubrey gave me his number.” Jesse whispers so low that I nearly missed it. “She said that he was tutoring her freshman year, so she still had the number in her phone. Sorry for messing your relationship up even more.”

 

 

“It's okay Jesse, I know you meant well.” I do know that but I can't help still being angry at him. “At least you were there, unlike the Bellas.”

 

“They wanted to come, Denise even made a scene when Chloe said that they were leaving. She was quite bitchy to Chloe and Aubrey. But if it's of any consolation to you, Chloe looked torn by the decision she made. Maybe she was afraid of your father as well, believe me, I was.”

 

 

1111111111111111111

 

 

 

 

Jumping out of the car before it really came to a hold, I make my way over to my dorm room. It's the middle of the night, so the halls are empty and I'm left to my thoughts. Normally I would be a bit afraid to walk around alone this late, but what could happen after a depressing night like this one turned out to be? Strange world where talking to your dad feels worse than being in a cell at the police station.

 

My room seems silent as I approach it, Kimmy Jin probably already asleep. I open the door and I hear shouts of greeting. Here they are, pressed into the corner of my room, smiling and cheering at me, giving statements about prison and I think I just heard Lily telling us that she was in prison before but I could've heard something wrong.

 

 

“You guys waited up for me?” I'm smiling. So much. We are a family after all.

 

“Of course we waited up for you.” How could I not believe in you Chloe. Your heart is way too big to leave someone alone.

 

She's smiling at me, wanting to get up and come over when we're being interrupted by another voice.

 

“They've been here for hours. It's a real inconvenience, Beca.” Kimmy Jin is here too, bummer.

 

She gives me a smile before leaving the room, so only I can see it. Something tells me that she figured out that the ringtone (Titanium) belonged to one of them. Does she know who?

 

At least she's gone now, leaving us to ourselves.

 

“Beca, I'm glad you're here.” Do not forget Aubrey, she knows how to interrupt Chloe from trying to come over a second time. “I'm calling an emergency Bella meeting.”

 

 

She ignores Fat Amy's protest with not more than a look, telling us that we nearly got beaten by the Sockapellas. She even tries to put it up as Fat Amy's fault for not following along with the planned choreography and text, which sucked anyway.

 

I can't hold my anger in anymore. Maybe Fat Amy's way wasn't the best to do it, but at least she tried to make the performance less boring.

“We should be taking risks, it's not enough to be good, we need to put ourselves out there, be different.” We're good, we have a chance at winning. Why doesn't Aubrey see that?

 

 

“Beca's right.” Thank you CR, finally some one helps me to speak up against Aubrey. “The Trebles never perform the same song twice.”

 

Exactly. “The audience love the Trebles, they merely tolerate us.” I back CR up.

“We could change the face of a capella if we... _oh, my god, that sounded so queerballs. What is happening to me?_ ” Shit, I just said that out loud.

 

I try to cover my excitement up by looking through my things.

“Let me show you this arrangement I've been working on.”

 

 

“I didn't know you were into this stuff.” I could always recognise this voice.

Chloe seems impressed and I could punch myself for not trying to show it to her sooner. Maybe this would have led to us hanging out more often, not just for an occasional coffee after practise. Who even drinks coffee in the evening, yeah, the answer to that is Chloe Beale. Maybe that is why she is always so over excited.

 

Damn Beca, give a reply. “Yeah.” Oh, that was pretty thoughtful of you, wasn't it? Why do you always reduce me to this dumb version of myself?

 

“Okay, I have the pitch pipe, and I say that we focus on the set list as planned.”

Arrrgh! Why Aubrey you damn...arrgh. Stay calm, don't jump up and punch her in her pretty face, Beca, your hand isn't fully recovered from the last punch.

“From now on, there will be no more wasting time with work or school or boyfriends or partners. Sorry, Cynthia Rose.”

 

CR is shaking her head. Oh Aubrey, if you only knew how many in here have their thoughts occupied by girls.

 

Especially me, who is just being defended by my gorgeous redhead. Wait, I'm being defended?

“But Aubrey, this stuff is pretty cool. I mean...”

Aubrey interrupts her but my thoughts are still occupied by Chloe's last statement. You're an angel, aren't you Chloe Beale? You could never be evil, could you? Maybe I should just tell you, even if you don't feel the same way I do, you will still be nice to me. That's just how you are. And maybe then I can finally go back to my normal self.

 

“...eight am, sharp.”

 

 

Chloe gives me a sad look. As the others say their goodbyes Chloe hangs back.

“Would you show this to me sometime, only if you want to, of course?”

 

She's interested in my stuff, she really is.

“Sure, anytime you want.” And I mean _anytime._

 

“Okay how about Sunday afternoon?” Two days, I need to make some more mixes till then.

 

“Sure, that works.” At that Chloe gives me one of her bashful smiles, the one that lights up her whole face, making her eyes shine brighter than they already do.

 

“It's a date, then.” With that she turns around, leaving the room quickly, probably heading after Aubrey.

 

 

If only you knew what you're doing to me, Chloe Beale.

 

 


	14. Mindfuck

 

**Chloe's PoV:**

Today is a good day. I get up with the first rays of sun and decide that a walk on this beautiful day would do me some good, so I rush through the bathroom and quickly change. Bree is still asleep by the time I leave so I put a note on the fridge, telling her where I am.

 

.

 

The wind is a bit cold, we're near to winter after all, but the sun really is giving its best today, warming me up just enough to open my blue coat. Not a lot students are up this early, most of them sure went to parties last night and sundays are sleep in days after all.

 

.

 

What has me so exited today is the fact that I will get to spend the afternoon with Beca. Just me and her in her room, this definitely has to be a good day. I haven't felt this alive over the last days, mostly thanks to my nodes but there is something else bothering me.

 

.

 

.

 

Beca has been strange these last days, I mean, sure she opened a bit up to us and that is always a good thing but her behaviour makes me kinda nervous. I can't seem to shake the feeling that there is something more between her and Denise. Aubrey still bets that she is involved with Jesse and there had been some looks between them during the riff off that got me chills.

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

Last week Aubrey had to visit her grandparents and I choose to stay at campus. With Bree gone I could try to spend time with Beca without being judged. On my way over to Beca's dorm I ran into an asian girl I remembered from one of my algebra classes. She remembered me too and we had a little chat. She turned out to be Kimmy Jin, the girl Beca refers to as her _roommate from hell_.

 

I told her that I was on my way to Beca and she just gave me a curious look. After I stayed silent for about a minute she asked me if I was the one texting her earlier. I just shook my head and then she turned to leave, walking a few steps away and turning to me again she told me that Beca was awaiting company. I didn't get what she wanted to tell me and she clearly could see it on my face so she added: “She expects company that is important enough to make me sleep over at a friends.”

 

.

 

Was she telling me that Beca would have sex with that person? Clearly Beca hated Kimmy Jin enough to make her go away with no reason at all, right?

 

.

 

Irritated I made my way over to Beca's room. I was just about to turn the last corner when I saw Denise waiting for Beca to open the door, so I hid behind the wall. As Beca opened the door I saw them having an awkward hug. I was so stunned that I stood there for nearly ten minutes. It was all rushing to my brain as if someone just pushed the first domino, making them all fall, one after another.

 

.

 

 

 

Beca hates movies, yet at girls night Denise was referring to them and having seen _Rocky_ together. The looks those two would share from time to time and how, all of a sudden they spent so much time practically joined at the hips.

 

Unneccessary to say that I didn't visit Beca that day. I didn't visit her at all. However, we did go to our regular coffee after practise on tuesday.

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

Since that day I spent an awful amount of time wondering about those two. One day it all broke out of me while I was having coffee with CR and she looked like I had just hit her with a frying pan. She told me about her past with Denise and how it all went down, telling me that she too noticed how close the two of them became.

 

.

 

Was I too late? Would it have made a difference if I told Beca sooner? Should I tell her now? So many questions and no real answers to that.

 

.

 

The question now occupying my head is _Shall I tell Beca at all?_

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

Bree was being her dramatic self. She still won't face the truth. Beca is right, we're never going to win finals if we don't change our approach. The Sockapellas nearly beating us was a low blow. But the real catastrophe was what happened after the competition. Beca has a mean left hook, that I know now. Another lesson of that day, keep Fat Amy chained if going into public places.

 

.

 

Beca got arrested and that would lead to her finding out about me and Richard, so when everyone wanted to bail her out I knew that I had to make a choice. I left through the hugh door with the coward sign on it, even going as far as yelling at Denise that we would leave for Barden and not the police station.

 

.

 

On my way out I made sure that Bree would hand Richards number to Jesse. Now was not the time to reveal my connection to him. I called him the day after and explained what happened. He accepted it but he still is a bit weary of Beca.

 

.

 

That night we all waited for her to come back to her room. I spoke to Kimmy Jin and explained what happened so that she would let us all stay in their room. She wasn't happy, but as Denise begged her she relented.

 

This confused me even more. How often had Denise been here, exactly?

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

I run up to the coffee shop on the corner. This is one of my favourite places at campus. They serve the best cookies and donuts. I get the regular order, a big latte with no foam and a double choc cookie for me and for Bree a strawberry donut and a cappuccino.

 

.

 

I decide to lightly jog on my way back, so the coffee won't be cold by the time I get there.

 

Bree is up and doing her morning gymnastics. She stops and walks over to me, taking the food so that I could change out of my coat.

 

.

 

We have breakfast in silence, I know that this seems unlike me but I really love how Bree and I can communicate without actually talking. Handing over things we need just by the looks we exchange.

 

She cleans up the table and I leave the kitchen to take a shower. My mood is still pretty good and a shower will only add to that.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

Freshly showered I look for some casual clothes to wear, wouldn't want to be overdressed at the first _date_ or non-date or whatever. I get nervous, I can feel it already. Calm, keep calm Chloe Beale. You can sing in front of hundreds of people but this love thing was never something you proved to be good in.

 

.

 

.

 

Beca is going to show me how to do mashups and even if Bree wasn't impressed, I sure as hell am. I always had a weakness for DJs and Beca turns this into a whole new level.

 

There is a knock on my door and I know instantly that it is Bree, she has this unmistakable way of knocking, two hard knocks followed by some lower ones.

 

.

 

“You should leave or you'll be late.” I haven't told her about meeting up with Beca, have I?

 

“Don't give me that look, I know how you look like when you're getting ready for a date. Normally you just throw on some clothes but you've been in here over an hour. Just take the green skinny Jeans over there and one of your old black shirts. I'm sure Beca will be pleased by _Placebo_ or _AC/DC_ if she even cares at all.”

 

.

 

.

 

It's not like I do everything Bree tells me but this time I think I should listen to her. Before I leave our flat I grab my Laptop and Aubrey throws over a bag of popcorn, telling me to _have fun._

 

Something about her behaviour is fishy but my mind is occupied by other things at the moment so I rush out the door.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

Kimmy Jin is on her way out as I arrive, nearly running me over. She gives me a strange look only speaking up after I greeted her.

 

“It's you? Beca knows you're coming over?”

 

.

 

.

 

“Yupp, should be awaiting me by now.”

 

.

 

.

 

“Great, now she kicks me out every time she has someone over.” With that she storms off.

 

.

 

.

 

Beca greets me with one of her usual smirks and I just decide to hug her, if she reciprocates or not.

 

She does, actually, even lingering a moment. That is good, right?

 

.

 

“So, Chloe. You still have time to run, you know. I tend to become a totally different person when I talk about making music.” She is giving me that smirk, one that is a little different from her normal ones. This one reaches her deep blue eyes, eyes that seem to tell everyone ' _fuck you_ ' and all I can think about is that I'd rather fuck her.

 

.

 

.

 

“I know that feeling, a capella nerd here. How about you show me how to do this mashup thingy and as a reward I invite you to dinner later?”

 

.

 

.

 

“Deal, Beale, deal. Lets start with the equipment and programs.”

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

Beca is amazing, aca-awsome, really. She's been explaining how to do it for two hours now and I feel like a total jerk because she has to tell me everything twice until I understand how it works. She doesn't seem to mind, though. The smile she's sporting the whole time doesn't seem to vanish and I feel a face-splitting smile on my own face as a result. This is hard work and I'm happy that those a capella years have given me the ability to split a song into its parts. It's a lot like having to improvise backgrounds to a capella songs and I suggested some fitting songs already, much to Beca's joy.

 

.

 

.

 

She lets me work on her laptop and I'm even allowed to wear her headphones. I did bring my own laptop and Beca is now busy installing her programs on it.

 

It seems like I lost every feeling of time and I jump up in surprise as Beca stands right behind me. I did some changes in one of her old mashups, nothing serious, just some additional lines and she just smiles at me for a good minute.

 

.

 

.

 

“Sorry to interrupt you, but your laptop is ready to be used and I would really like to hear what you did to my last mashup. Let me just unplug the headphones.”

 

.

 

.

 

She wasn't surprised that I choose the _Bulletproof-Titanium_ mashup. It does consist my lady jam after all, but I see her eyes widening as she listens to it. I did add some loops and changed the base line up a bit.

 

.

 

“Chloe, this is actually pretty good. It sounds happier and more alive somehow. You have a talent for this.”

 

.

 

.

 

“Thanks. It did took me forever though. Beca, is that you in the background?”

 

.

 

.

 

“Yeah, you noticed, huh?”

 

.

 

.

 

“I know your voice, after all. Why didn't you sing the lead part as well?”

 

.

 

.

 

“I wanted to, actually. But...” She drifts off suddenly and I don't understand why.

 

.

 

.

 

“Tell me Beca, please.”

 

.

 

.

 

“This is kinda embarrassing. Well, the plan was to ask you to sing the _Titanium_ part and I would sing the _Bulletproof_ lines.”

 

.

 

.

 

“Beca, that's not embarrassing. I would totally love to, it's an honour, really.”

 

.

 

.

 

“But your nodes! Chloe, you can't go on hurting.”

 

.

 

.

 

“Beca, singing is what I love to do. I've tried a lot of different things over the years but I got stuck with singing. Even if it is a capella and songs I normally wouldn't sing, what matters to me is that I can sing.” I don't know when I started crying but I feel tears on my cheeks and turn my head away immediately.

 

.

 

.

 

“Don't, Chloe.” She reaches out to me and cups my face with both hands, turning it towards her.

 

“Don't cry, I'm sure we will find a way.”

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

I've kept my emotions in check all those months, trying not to break in front of everyone. Still I did that day before the riff-off and I break again.

 

Beca isn't trying to wipe away my tears, maybe she knows that this is what I need and most of all I need her right now. I'm still sitting on her desk chair with her standing right in front of me.

 

.

 

.

 

_It's now or never._

 

_._

 

.

 

I lean forward in a fluid motion and grab her around her waist, lifting her up and putting her on my lap. Her legs dangle above the floor on each side of me and she has a heavy blush sporting her face.

 

I don't know how long we just sit like that, looking into each others eyes. My face is still a bit damp but I've stopped crying a while ago. We don't move, not an inch, totally lost in each others presence.

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

_Kiss her. Just kiss her._

 

_._

 

_._

 

Almost, we're almost there. Our bodys are so close that I can feel every breath she takes, our faces nearly touch and I can feel every exhale of her, tickling down my cheeks.

 

She really is tiny. Sitting on my lap she has the same height as me.

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

_Beautiful._

 

_._

 

_._

 

That, she is. The last time we stood that close was after Beca got introduced into the Bellas. I wanted to kiss her then, right at the initiation night. She left with a drunken Jesse, I remember, but that was my fault. Initiation night was the night that changed everything for me.

 

I haven't had a steady relationship in years and I know that that is due to my personality. Bubbly. That's what most people say when they describe me. I haven't always been that way but Barden changed me.

 

If it would have been my old self at initiation night I would have torn Beca to pieces after finding out that she is Richard's daughter. After sleeping with her, that is.

 

But it was the new me, the one with social morals, the one that doesn't follow heated decisions. It was the one that already showed feelings for Beca before that evening.

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

_Her eyes are so beautifully shaped. Her nose fits her face perfectly._

 

.

 

 

 

.

 

I've always been bold, that didn't change and now I'm glad that I am. What if I hadn't burst into her shower that day? Would we still have become friends?

 

Then there is this nagging feeling in my head. What if Beca would have shown up to one of the many family dinners Richard wanted to hold?

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

_She seems attracted to me._

 

_._

 

_._

 

But is she? Even if she is now, would she have been attracted to me if she met me through her father? If she met me as her stepsister?

 

Would she do so much as give me a second glance if she knew? I know she refers to my mum as _stepmonster,_ so what am I in her mind? Another monster? An evil being that took her place with her dad?

 

.

 

.

 

_Look at her. Her soft smile, her warm eyes, eyes that could set fire to your heart whenever they want to. She could never be evil._

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

I remember that day we met, the day I met her, not at the activities fair but that stupidly warm day in the park when she didn't think that I was worthy of a single glance. A single glance. Now I have all her attention. We still haven't moved, not for a while, I think.

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

_Maybe we never have to._

 

.

 

 

 

.

 

But we do. We do have to move at one point. I'm afraid that if I tell her the truth she will run. No, I know that she will run, run from me as fast as she can.

 

Could I hide the fact that I'm her stepsister? Forever? No.

 

I already feel like _a pretty little liar._ Don't get me wrong, I love the show but they always get consumed by their lies. I don't want that.

 

.

 

 

 

_._

 

_Move!_

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

So I do move, not my body. My body is trapped underneath Beca and even though I'm sure that I'm strong enough to lift her, I know that I wont be able to under this circumstances. With enough will power I move my eyes, away from hers, trying to break the spell.

 

It works, she snaps out of her stupor as well. Her face flushes a bright red and she hastily moves away from me.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

.

 

“So, errr. Dinner?” I've never been more grateful for a change of topic.

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

We grabbed some burgers and eat at the park. We're not having a conversation at all, the sound of chewing and biting is enough to keep me on edge. Beca seems on edge too. At least she's not running.

 

 

 

.

 

“You gonna try making your own mix or did I ruin it for you?” Surprisingly, she is the one to speak up first.

 

.

 

.

 

“I think I'm just gonna practise with some of yours, actually. Try to memorise how the program works and learn to do some effects. You couldn't ruin anything with me, believe me.”

 

.

 

.

 

_Is that true?_

 

_._

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

By the time I make it to the flat I share with Bree I realise that I totally forgot my laptop at Beca's dorm room. Our goodbyes were awkward, a one sided hug from me and a ' _yo, see you soon_ ' from Beca. OMG we so must have looked like some wannabe gangsters.

 

 

 

.

 

Question is, should I go and grab it or wait till tomorrow?

 

My brain is actually killing me. This whole thing seems to be getting out of my hands.

 

 

 

.

 

No, I won't go there. I absolutely, totally won't, not ever again. I stubbornly decide to get ready for bed, take a shower just like every evening and hop into my bed with a pair of PJs. Still, I am not sleepy at all, not even a bit. Trying not to think about Beca I start playing games on my smart-phone.

 

 

 

.

 

This is how Bree finds me.

 

“So, wearing your spiderman pajamas? Day didn't go the way you wanted it to?”

 

 

 

.

 

“You know Bree, I think you would actually like her if you just would let yourself.”

 

_True_

 

.

 

“No can do.” _Not true._ “So, did the great DJ teach you something, or was this day all in vain?”

 

 

 

.

 

Don't act like you don't care, I know you too well. “It was great, actually. I would show you, but I forgot my -”

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

We're interrupted by a knock on our door. Who would actually visit this late?

 

Bree is giving me a knowing look and it takes me a moment to catch on.

 

 

 

.

 

I'm out of bed and at the front door in no time, only hesitating for a brief moment before opening the door. What if this awkward atmosphere still surrounds us?

 

.

 

.

 

_Coward._

 

_._

 

_._

 

Right. Before I can stop myself I tear open the door, startling Beca. It amuses me how she always acts so tough when in moments as this you can see how easily frightened she really gets.

 

.

 

 

 

“Err, you forgot your stuff at mine.”

 

.

 

.

 

“I know, I didn't want to bother you that late.” At least that sounded better than the real reason.

 

.

 

.

 

“Right.” She hits her forehead with her palm. “I'm such a genius, coming over to yours this late. I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to bother you or wake you up.”

 

.

 

.

 

“God no, Beca. You're not and you didn't wake me, I was just hangin' around.” Smooth Chloe, smooth.

 

.

 

.

 

“Normally hanging around in your PJs?” It seems we are on the way back to our usual banter.

 

“I must say I'm impressed. Spiderman?”

 

.

 

.

 

“I like his humour and he's just so damn awsome. I always wanted to have his powers.”

 

.

 

.

 

“Nah, I'm more a Batman fan, you know. Socially awkward people and nice toys.”

 

.

 

.

 

“Sure you're not talking about the Joker?”

 

 

 

We have a laugh, and it feels good, believe me. Some sort of weight was just lifted from my heart.

 

 

 

.

 

“Well, I should head back. It's getting late and Kimmy Jin won't be happy if I wake her up.”

 

.

 

.

 

We share a hug, a real one this time and then she heads home. My eyes follow her down the road until she disappears behind a corner. It hits me then. I can't just let her leave like that.

 

So I jump into the first pair of shoes I see and run after her.

 

 

 

.

 

1111111111111111111

 

.

 

 

 

She didn't get far or maybe all those laps Bree makes me run finally pay out. She turns around as she hears someone running after her and stops as she sees that it's me. She's smiling, that's all I need.

 

 

 

.

 

“Chloe, what are you do -”

 

.

 

.

 

The rest of her sentence is left unsaid as I put my lips firmly against hers.

 

.

 

.

 

_Finally._

 

_._

 

_._

 

I only linger for a moment, savouring the feeling of her lips, her beautiful and soft lips, before I quickly move away. She has a healthy blush on her face and I give her my best 'Chloe Beale Smile' before waving goodbye. “G'night Beca, forgot to give you that.”

 

.

 

.

 

With that said I turn around and walk bach to my flat. Hopefully Bree is still awake and waiting for me because I totally forgot to grab my keys.

 

I don't care at all that I walk through the streets with my Spiderman pajamas on, the only thing mattering right now is that I finally kissed Beca.

 

 

 


	15. Heavy Rain

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

The winter is here, I can see it. Not that we actually have snow here at Barden but the temperature has dropped quite a bit, the trees have lost their leafs and the people are getting grumpier by the minute. No, not all of them, just those who hate the christmas season.

.

I don't feel cold, no actually my sarcastic self feels like it's the middle of the summer, or spring, I can't decide. The thing is, I haven't felt sarcastic in a while.

.

You can blame Chloe for that. Ever since she kissed me two weeks ago I feel like I'm on cloud nine. Only problem right now is that with all the Bella practises we have scheduled at the moment I couldn't spend any time with Chloe at all.

We exchange knowing looks, though. Lots of knowing looks and smiles, actual smiles from me.

.

I think she is waiting for me to make a move, to be the one that initiates the next step, the one that initiates the next date, or would it be the first date? I'm so confused by that sunday afternoon.

But I remember everything, the clothes she wore, the fucking burgers we ate, her pajamas.

I've had so many burgers over the last two weeks I can rival Luke, believe me. It just feels good to get a burger and go to the park, reliving that evening again and again. Most of the times I bring my laptop to work on my mixes and I just feel like there can't be anything better to relieve tension in the whole world. I feel inspired by this place and even though it is winter and more often than not I freeze while sitting here working, I can only imagine how beautiful this place will be in spring. Chloe took me to a bit more secluded area, telling me that I would like this place. How someone that loved being around people as much as Chloe does could find such a place is beyond my imagination.

.

1111111111111111111

.

 

Christmas is getting nearer and nearer. Both mom and dad invited me to celebrate with them and who do you think I would choose out of them? Clearly no surprise.

I hate how my old man wants to introduce me into his new family and life. Always Sheila this and Sheila that and _“Oh, Beca. You have to meet her daughter, you two would really get along, Beca”._ So much to that, I can't even remember her name. Was it _Coco_ or _Cora_?

That reminds me, he didn't want to push me to meet them over the last weeks. Maybe that one time dinner was enough? This could be his attempt to really spend a christmas with me but I still don't feel like choosing him over my mother.

.

Anyway, I will call my mother later today and tell her that I will come over for christmas.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

Most people belive that I hate christmas just because it fits my general attitude. That is bullshit. Believe me, some of my happiest moments in life happened on christmas. I like christmas trees and decoration, I love buying presents for christmas and I really really love how friendly people normally are this time of a year even though I don't give a damn the rest of the year.

.

My dad proposed to my mum on a christmas morning, just like his father had proposed to my granny on one before. Okay, bad example for a happy memory. But with all the problems we had as a family, this was the happiest day of the year.

.

As an only child I usually got a lot of presents but what really matters was the fun I had going christmas shopping. As a child my old man would take me with him, but it was always my choice what to buy for whom. Then I would decorate the tree and the whole living room with my mum while dad made dinner for us.

After he left I just took over his part, minus the cooking, making it the happiest day of the year for mom and me. I intend to do that this year as well.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

Bellas practise is over and everyone is in a good mood. Jessica and Ashley were talking through the whole evening, whenever no one was singing. What has me impressed is that Aubrey just let them. One would think that she is getting weak with us, or maybe she's just feeling the holiday brightness.

 

.

.

“So, Ash and I will be visiting my family in Seattle over christmas. Our flight is on monday evening.” Jessica is practically beaming, most likely thinking about the week away.

 

.

“Yeah, I'm finally getting to meet that lush brother of her.” Ashley is grinning widely. Obviously they've planned this for quite a while.

.

“At least I'm not the only one getting some over christmas.”

.

“AMY! Please show some manners.” Ah, there it is, that unmistakable screech that belongs to the phenomenon of Aubrey Posen.

.

“What? It's true. I'm flying over to Australia to meet my boyfriends and collect my gifts of course. Christmas on a beach is still the best. And the sex-”

.

“AMY! Enough!” Yeah, wouldn't have thought that I would be grateful for Aubrey's interruptions one day.

.

“I will leave monday morning. 5 am, not my favourite time to fly to Philly.”

.

“Yeah, I know what you mean Cyn, but it's the only flight that day. We could share a cab to the airport.” I almost forgot that CR and Denise have a history together. If you know what happened you can feel the tension between them.

.

Seems like everyone is leaving.

“I'll be staying here.” Or not. “Christmas is the perfect time to hunt. Wouldn't want him to starve.” Stacie enlightens us, always. “Lonely boys are easy targets.”

.

“I have to do community service.” Did my mind play with me or did that really come from Lily? No one seems to have heard it, must really have been my imagination.

 

.

.

“Well, since I'll fly out to meet my dad in Shanghai I will cancel Bella practises for the next week, however, doing cardio is important, so please do not neglect that.” Sure Aubrey, I will exactly do that all week...NOT. Bitch, it's christmas!

.

I've noticed that Chloe was awfully quiet. She's been acting out of character the whole evening.

“Chlo? What about you?”

.

“Oh, I'll stay here. Got a lot to study for and a nice book to read.” Really? What's wrong with her?

.

“Good! You can come hunt with me then, you know, you're an eye candy. Together we'll be unstoppable.” WHAT? Nonononononono...

.

“Err, I don't know Stacy.” Oh my god, Chloe's looking over to me, searching for help.

.

Hell, what am I gonna say to that?

“We should celebrate on saturday! All the Bellas, having an aca-christmas. Singing, playing games, drinking, exchanging presents.” Did I just say that? What are you doing to me Chloe?

.

.

Everyone loved the idea except for Chloe, whose face lost all its colour. She excused herself and left, saying that she wasn't feeling too well.

We were all stunned as the doors shut themselves after her retreating form with a loud bang. I've never seen her behave like that and neither have the others. Only Aubrey seems to be unfazed by her attitude today.

.

“She looked pale and did you see how fast she left? I bet she's pregnant, not that I would mind seeing one of you twig bitches gain some weight.”

We all turn around to Fat Amy giving her a _not funny_ look.

“Okay, okay. Jesus it was just a thought. Fun sponges.”

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

As we all make a move to leave I hear Aubzilla calling for me to stay and help her clean up the room a bit. Great, of course me. Of all the people she could have chosen she had to take me. One would think that if she hates me as much as she always tells me she would try everything to be as far away from me as possible.

I earn some looks of sympathy, lucky bitches. Maybe Aubrey will give me an ultimatum to finally take my piercings out or tell me to die.

.

“Beca, what are your intentions with Chloe?” Wow, not what I expected, this is worse. She's giving me the talk...

.

“You really wanna know? I could describe it pretty lively but I don't want to harm your brain anymore than it already is.” Beca: One , Aubrey: Zero ! Score!

.

“Haha, you're un _fucking_ believable. I still don't get what she sees in you.” She steps in front of me, looking down on me and I feel intimidated, I mean she's practically towering over me.

She can see the fear in my eyes, I think, at least that would explain the smug grin she is sporting right now. Yeah, we're even now.

.

“Fine! I really like her, okay. I can't tell you where this is headed but I like being with her.”

.

“I noticed. She even makes you less bitchy when she's around. Just one more question for today though. Will you be at Barden over the holidays?”

.

“What kind of question is that supposed to be? I'm going to visit my mother.” Is that a look of disappointment?

“What? Would you be happier if I stayed or what? I don't get it. Normally you'd do anything you can to keep me away from Chloe. Where's the difference this time?”

.

She seems to be struggling with herself to give me an answer.

“I don't like you, Beca. To be honest I hate you, mostly for the not so obvious reasons but that doesn't matter right now. Chloe is my best friend, has been for years. Me telling you this does not mean that I accept you or like you. I owe you one for regionals, you took the blame for that _incident_ and kept the Bellas out of it. You can consider us even after this.”

She gets lost in her own head for a moment.

“Chloe hates christmas. I won't tell you why, I'm not the one who should tell you that. All you have to know is that in this season she's the most vulnerable. I hate that I can't be here for her but this is the only time I will get to spend with my dad this year and she would hate me for not going.

So, if you decide to stay... _I can't belive I'm going to say this_...please be there for her.”

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

 

It's saturday morning. I haven't had much sleep over the last nights, my mind too occupied by Chloe. Aubrey's behaviour gives me chills but I'm thankful that she confides in me. We even acted civil around each other over the last days. Still, I can't seem to find rest, my mind going miles a minute.

My mood isn't the best, thanks to the weather and going to the park in this heavy rain won't make me feel any better.

My mom was a bit hurt as I told her that I want to stay at Barden over christmas but she didn't make a fuss about it. Everything has changed over the curse of this year so maybe this wasn't so big of a surprise. I'll see her in mid January anyway, when she'll come to see the Semi-finals. And until then I will have Chloe and my mixes to work on.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

My shopping trip went well, at least I think so. I can't wait to give the others their presents. We decided to celebrate at Stacie's flat. I didn't even know that she had a flat just out of campus! Decorating Chloe's and Aubrey's home even though Chloe hates christmas wouldn't have worked that well.

Right now I'm getting ready to head over. Denise decided that it is best to pick me up with her moped, an early christmas present from her grandparents. Hopefully the rain will subside a bit until then. The presents are carefully placed into my bag and I'm just about to put my leather jacket on as I hear a horn. Denise must be here, so I hurry out, grateful that the rain indeed has died down.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

Okay, maybe the rain isn't my biggest problem today. Denise and I are the last to arrive at the party, fashionably late. Only we're not really the last ones because Chloe decided to be a no show. Aubrey is freaking out and even if I would normally laugh at how hilarious it is that Aubrey treats Chloe like a little girl, the reason why she is stressed out gets to me as well.

Chloe left their flat early this morning, leaving Bree a note that she wouldn't show but Aubrey should bring the presents she bought with her to the party. Here's the problem, the real one. Aubrey has already driven by all of their friends and their favourite coffee shops to make sure that she's alright (and if I could make good guess, bitching at her for “running away”).

.

.

I'm about to run out of Stacie's flat and go search for her but the others tell me not to, stating that maybe she just has to cool down and that she'll sure as hell will show up. They don't know why she behaves like that and neither do I, so I look straight at Aubrey, trying to analyse her thoughts.

She doesn't look happy with the decision to leave her be.

“Aubrey?”

.

.

“No, they're right. She picked up one of my calls an hour ago and lets just say that she was quite unfriendly to me. We should let her breath for a bit but I will drive another round through Barden later.”

.

.

“Okay, besides, she wouldn't want us to be fun sponges and not have a party now, would she?”

Fat Amy's laugh hollers through the room and I'm so grateful for her. She always lifts the mood with her craziness.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

We should change our name from _Barden Bellas_ to _Barden Party Bellas_. Okay, not my best joke. But I mean it! We always have so much fun when we're all together, eating, drinking, singing and dancing. So far no one has started talking about Chloe again but when we ordered chinese takeout Bree chose two dishes. I would bet my headphones that it's Chloe's favourite. Fat Amy and Lily tried to eat it, they were still not satisfied after their own order but Aubrey slapped their hands away.

.

I've never seen this expression on Aubrey before and that gives me the chills. She looks hurt, hurt by the fact that her best friend abandoned her, left her on her won today.

It clicks in my head then. Aubrey needs Chloe far more than Chloe needs Aubrey. I've always thought that that's the reason why Chloe puts up with Aubrey's attitudes when really it's something deeper.

Maybe one day I will get their connection but right now I don't understand much of it.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

After we sang some more, Stacie declared that it's time to exchange presents. So here we are, sitting in a circle on the floor of the living room, every one of us with a hugh bag behind themselves.

As captain Aubrey has to start giving out the presents and really, she has the smallest gifts of us all.

Turns out she got every one of us a wristband with their names on them. Mine is a deep red with bold black letters on it. It's actually pretty nice and it fits perfectly.

Jessica bought me a new flash drive that looks like a key, Ashley a new bag for my laptop, Denise bought me some sunglasses, CR and Stacie bought me a book about _Sarcasm and English Humor_ and Fat Amy and Lily had Tee's made for everyone with _Barden Bella_ and an arrow that points up.

.

We laughed a lot and everyone loved their presents. I can't seem to shake the feeling that I got myself an aca-awsome family. Yes, I just thought that.

.

.

As they all went back to singing and dancing I made my way to the kitchen. I lean against the wall, looking out of the window. It started to rain again and it seems like it's getting heavier by the minute.

This is where Aubrey finds me but instead of being bitchy to me she just leans against the wall on the other side of the window, mirroring my position and looking out into the grey horizon.

.

“I'll leave now and make another round through campus. There's this boy she was seeing on and off the last semester, I haven't checked with him. maybe they're still friends.”

.

“Tom. Yeah, she said something about them being friends.” If she really is there then what does that mean for us?

.

Aubrey gives a silent nod. We stare out of the window for another minute or so.

“Do you wanna join me? Maybe you can be more convincing than me.”

.

“I don't think there is one person out there that could be more convincing than you, Aubrey. Well, maybe Chloe.” Though she convinces people different from you. “I don't really want to meet Tom again.”

.

“Okay, just give me a call if she shows up or calls.” I've really never seen Aubrey so insecure. This is creepy.

.

“Definitely.”

And with that she leaves. I feel like crap for not joining her, for not searching for Chloe but I can't change that I feel hurt by the thought that she went back to her ex, talking to him instead of me, hiding at his instead of coming to me. I could have hid her from the others.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

Half an hour later and still no sign of Chloe. She wasn't with Tom and now I fell even worse for not having faith in her. Aubrey is still driving from one friend to another, even trying those who haven't been around that much.

.

The others leave me mostly to myself. I do sit with them but I'm in my own head, not really playing along with their game of truth and dare. Watching the empty bottle making her circles is kind of relaxing. It hits me then. I only know of one place where Chloe could be.

I jump up from the floor and make a run for the door. My actions are to fast for anyone to realise that I'm leaving. I don't crap my purse or my jacket, I just run in the direction of the park.

.

The others will understand and I really have to know if she is there. It's stupid and I know it. The rain was present the whole day and it feels like it's still getting heavier by the minute. I'm not even half way there but I'm soaked to the bones. Today cardio really pays off.

I've never been one with much stamina, always being the first to give up running in high school, even before the fat kids did. But today I won't stop, I don't care if my legs are hurting or those nasty side stitches decide to make an appearance.

.

If she is there would that mean that she was just showing up at her sacred place or was it because she too felt like that place belonged to us now? Either way, I have to make sure she's all right.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

Just one more turn and I'm there. I slow down. What if she isn't here? I make my way through the last couple of trees right to where I know that old little bench is that I've visited so much these couple of weeks.

The bench is empty. Of course she wouldn't be here, not with this heavy rain. I'm so stupid, I left everything at Stacie's flat so I can't even make my way home to change my clothes.

Where are you _Chloe_?

.

“Beca, is that you?”

.

Am I dreaming? Chloe is here, after all. She must have been sitting right behind the largest oak tree, out of view.

.

“Chlo...”

.

She's all soaked, her red curls clinging to her face. Her lips are almost blue and she's shivering constantly.

“Chlo, we were so worried about you. Look at you, you're freezing.”

She doesn't move, she just looks exhausted and her eyes look like she's been crying for a long time.

Since she doesn't move I do, placing my arms around her carefully I pull her in for a hug. She's so cold that my first reaction would normally be to pull away but I fear that she will fall or freeze to dead without me supporting her and giving her what warmth is left in my body.

.

She's taller than me and heavier. Pulling her with me I sit down and lean against the nearest tree, cradling her on my lap. Her head falls to the crook of my neck and her body seams to relax instantly. I let her rest for a few minutes. She seems so peaceful when she has her eyes closed.

.

Aubrey must still be worried sick and the others probably are too, judging by how fast I made my leave. My phone is still at Stacie's, along with my other things. I kiss Chloe on the forehead and her eyes open instantly, looking at me with so much love that I know it then. We are made for each other. If she isn't my soul mate then who the hell could that be?

.

“Chlo, I need to call the others. Where's your phone?”

.

“Promise you won't leave me? Ever?” She barely gets the words out. All this crying must have affected her nodes as well.

.

“I promise.” I do.

 

.

1111111111111111111

.

I called Aubrey and told her where we are. She said that she'll be here as fast as she can and that she would let the others know.

Chloe fell asleep on me and I'm afraid that it's not good to sleep when you're this cold but she just seemed so exhausted. I try my best to keep her warm, holding her tight and rubbing over her back with my hands. What on earth cold make her hate christmas so much? She could have killed herself staying out here in the middle of the winter in this fucking rain. It's a good thing that Barden doesn't get too cold in winter.

I leave another kiss on her forehead but this time she doesn't wake up.

“I love you Chloe.” And it's true.

 


	16. A Trip to the Past

 

**Chloe's PoV:**

 

Beca found me. She found me while no one else was able to. Why? I know I showed her my favourite place, but it's not like it is a big secret, right? I just haven't told Bree about that place because, well, sometimes I have to get away from her, I mean I love her, to bits and pieces, but she can be so annoying sometimes.

So yeah, maybe I really only introduced Beca into my own, private heaven. The thing is, I feel like loving that place more and more and now that I have this beautiful memories of Beca there, that place really has become my sanity.

 

Sanity. Actually, I feel more like going insane. I still haven't told Beca about me and the obvious elephant in the room seems to be growing by the minute.

Aubrey has made quite a fuss over me and yeah, maybe I was nearly as cold as ice when Beca found me, but declaring war to me? Her best friend? She even wanted to cancel her flight to her dad.

Aubrey took me into the bathroom as soon as the door to our flat was open, starting to undress me like I'm some toddler and really, I felt like one in that moment. The whole car ride she gave me a speech about maturity and responsibility and I felt like crying but there were no more tears left, I guess, I was nearly dehydrated.

But now, standing there in our bathroom, naked, I might add, in front of a fully dressed Aubrey with a stern look made me feel even more vulnerable. She must have sensed my discomfort because her face changed immediately, the crinkles around her eyes softened and the anger left her face. It was then that I recognised the fear that was hidden under her layers. She was afraid, not of me but for me. Fearing the worst over the day, fearing that something could have happened to me.

Bree and I, we protected each other. She is my person, the one I feel comfortable around, the one that can get away with almost everything. The one person I've loved over all those years, in a platonic way, like maybe a sister would love her sister, minus this one month we...you know.

 

She starts to undress herself and let me tell you, it's not like I have never seen her like that before, but normally we don't share an intense gaze like we are sharing now. She pushes me under the hot shower, not that it is that hot, but my body is so cold that it feels like I am burning.

Erase that last statement, it's more like I'm melting, becoming this fluffy mess of melted ice cream, cherry flavour.

The spray is good, it washes away the tears that had dried on my face and it hides the new ones, spilling freshly over my face. I was so foolish today. I hate myself for what I put Bree through, and Beca. God, Beca. I'm sure she has already left, I wouldn't blame her. Sitting next to Aubrey and me in that car must have been awkward, but she was right there, in the back of the car with me curled up in her side, like a puppy- a lost puppy that she found and I kind of am. I was surprised that she didn't pick a fight with Aubrey, under any other circumstances those two always start bickering, but not this time. It hurt a bit that she didn't protect me from Aubrey, but really, she must have felt like it was right. It was, I deserved that.

Bree is washing me, I just stand there, not moving out of the spray. I think Bree is crying too, I see it in her eyes but even if I asked her, she wouldn't tell me. She rarely cries and maybe that is a good thing. I remember Prom night, when she started to cry uncontrollably she also lost control over her stomach.

Suddenly the images of that day, Bree between throwing up and crying her eyes out, they pop into my head and I can't help but start laughing, a full on, belly hurting laughter.

 

"Should I be worried? Are you going insane on me? You know, studying to be a doctor also covers a light field of psychology."

Right, my doctor to be. Doc. Posen.

 

"No, I'm okay. Just thinking of that time, you know."

 

"No Beale, I don't know. I'm not a mind reader, so please, enlighten me."

 

"Well, the time you went back and forth between destroying my bed sheets with your tears and ruining my bathroom by throwing up the food of the last week."

 

"Prom night. Really? I thought we were past that. What in the world has reminded you of that?"

 

"You." Simple as that.

 

"Oookay. I take that as a compliment for my naked body."

 

"Actually, it were the tears in your eyes but yeah, your body is still a killer."

 

"Thank you, and I'm not crying. I don't cry anymore, you know."

 

"I know." I know that it's a lie.

1111111111111111111

Beca didn't leave. She was standing in our open kitchen by the time Aubrey, a very naked Aubrey might I add, shoved me, only clad into a big towel, into my room. I think I saw her blush bt she averted her gaze so fast that I can't be sure.

Aubrey dressed me into my warmest pjs, they're a light green with white and black sheeps on it and let me say, they're so fluffy. She put me to bed and yet again I feel like a toddler. She puts the towel around herself this time and tries to leave the room, but I won't let her. I don't wanna be on my own so I grab her hand, giving her a pleading look.

 

"Chloe, I'll be right back, I just need to put some clothes on."

 

We hear a soft knock on the door.

"Hey, uh, ladies. It's me, Beca, you know, the tiny brunette that is in this a capella group with you. A—are you decent?"

 

She is so adorable, isn't she. I think I just made a 'cooo' sound by the look Aubrey's giving me.

"Yeah Beca, just come in." Aubrey sighs.

 

"So—rry. You're still not very decent Aubrey." She averts her eyes. She's just getting cuter and cuter, isn't she?

 

"Yeah, leaving for my room right now. Can you please stay with Chloe while I'm getting changed?"

 

Beca only nods and I feel like I'm not in the room. She sits down next to me and it's then that I see her holding on to a bowl.

 

"Sit up, Chlo. I made you some soup. Don't know if it's eatable, not the best person to be let into a kitchen but I can bake you something if you want? Though, soup is better, yeah, a nice, hot soup. I should stop talking already."

 

I eat the soup in silence, my eyes wandering back to hers in between spoons. She's right, it's not the best soup I ever ate but it fills my empty stomach, so I eat it all, even drinking the last remains of it out of the bowl.

"Feeling better?"

 

This time I nod. My voice is still not fully recovered from the stress I put it through today. She takes the empty bowl and makes her way over to the kitchen. I still don't want to be left alone but I don't say anything. She makes me feel save and I just know that she'll be right back.

 

As I lay back down I hear muffled voices but they grow louder and louder. Seems like those two finally have gone back to their normal behaviour.

 

"Aubrey, you sure you wanna cancel that flight?"

 

"Don't doubt my decisions, Beca. You always do that and I hate it."

 

"This is not a Bellas rehearsal and please, you should listen to me sometimes, or better yet, start to listen to yourself! You behave like an aca-dictator!"

 

"Excuse you?! I'm not! And my best friend obviously needs me here, so I won't just up and leave!"

 

I have to interfere. So I get up slowly, making my way to the living room.

 

"Aubrey, you told me yourself how important it is for you to go see your father. You--"

"Bree, she's right." I take her into a tight embrace. "I'll be okay. Just go and see your father." Whispering I add "go, at least one of us get's to spend christmas with their father."

 

She pushes me a bit away to look into my eyes. "You sure?"

I nod and she just looks sceptically at me so I nod again, this time with all the confidence I can muster. She takes a deep breath, I can feel her exhale, her breath hitting my face. Then she just looks over my shoulder to where I assume Beca is standing currently. "You're gonna stay with her? Right? Make sure she's behaving."

 

What am I now? Their child? Mommy Beca and daddy Aubrey, or the other way around? They would be one hell of a crazy couple, but an adorable one, with all their bickering.

 

"She will be in good hands."

Is it just me or are those two finally finding some common ground to start a friendship on?

 

1111111111111111111

 

So, Bree left and Beca kinda moved in. That's right. After an awkward night of us three sleeping in my queen sized bed, because I wouldn't let anyone leave, Beca went back to her dorm to fetch some things and Aubrey got ready to head to the airport. That was not an easy task with me clinging to her, constantly.

She calls this 'Chloe's stages of getting better'. First, avoiding any contact, shutting everyone out. Second, getting all clingy and cuddly. Third and last before I go back to normal, according to her, I have a laughing fit that goes on forever, laughing about anything and nothing.

Obviously I am in stage 2 right now.

 

However, since Bree is out of reach I cling to Beca. We haven't shared another kiss since we got home but we cuddle and I watch her work on her mixes. I decided that it's better if I cook us meals and Beca promised to bake a cake later today.

Today. Today is Christmas Evening, I remember. I still haven't told Beca why I hate that day so much, hate this time of a year. She doesn't push me, though, and that I am grateful for. In between our cuddling session I hear the doorbell ring. Beca has her headphones on, making her deaf to the world. She looks so beautiful when she is lost in her own world. I can't bring myself to disturb her, so I slowly get up and walk over to the door. Upon opening it I see Jesse standing in front of me.

 

"Hey Chloe. You see my parents kinda cancelled on me last minute so I decided to stay at Barden. I know that Beca stays at yours over christ-- urgh over the holidays, so I just thought I pop around and-- would it be uhh--"

 

I decide to help him out of his misery. "Hello there, Jesse. You wanna come in and spent the day here?"

 

He gives me a big smile. "Yeah, thanks, that would be nice."

 

1111111111111111111

 

So that is how I ended up sharing my couch with an unhappy Beca and a delighted Jesse. Jesse obviously heard that I am not a big fan of christmas, but I am however a big fan of movies and Jesse happens to have a lot of them. We ate some pizza and laughed a lot. After that we decided to watch 'The Breakfast Club', Jesse stating that it had one of the best movie soundtracks and I agreed immediately. As if on cue, both Jesse and I raised a fist, leading to us laughing even harder.

I felt kind of sorry for Beca, having to put up with us nerds. The bowl of ready made popcorn was shaved into Beca's hands by me, maybe as a kind of peace offering. She is seated between Jesse and me, clearly not enjoying the movie but she puts up with it and I feel like she does it for me. A good feeling, a great one even.

Jesse is not that bad. We laugh over the same movie scenes, cry over the same. He is a good guy, handsome and polite, but still, Beca is sitting closer to me, she chose me. Beca finally hands the popcorn over to Jesse, because really, he is the only one still munching on it.

I take that as an invite to cuddle into Beca, laying my head down on her stomach. I think I see Jesse grinning at Beca, but I focus back on the movie.

 

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I must have fallen asleep during the second movie, _Imagine me and you_. Now before you judge me, Jesse picked it and I have seen that one at least a hundred times. Without opening my eyes I turn around, trying to get comfortable. It's then that I recognise that in fact I'm feeling too comfy to be lying on the couch. Opening one eye to peek around me I notice the familarity of my room.

How did I get here? I can see light shining through the cracked open door, someone must still be up. I make my way over to he door, opening it slowly I can make out two figures, making out on my couch. I rubb my eyes, there they are, Beca and Jesse, kissing, heatingly and I think I can make out wandering hands.

 

I jolt awake. Okay, bad, really bad dream. I look around once more, I'm still in my room and there is light shining through the cracked open door. I feel like I'm having some _Groundhog Day_ experience. Still, I get up and walk over to the door, peeking through I see only Beca this time. I can hear the distant sounds of a man sneering, that must be Jesse. Hoping that I'm awake this time and not asleep where I don't know, a half naked Aubrey or something like that, starts to jump Beca, I open the door completely but not without pinching myself. Seems like I'm awake this time. 

Beca is sitting on the couch, working on her laptop, her big headphones on. She looks up at me and pulls her headphones down around her neck.

"Hey, you're awake. Did I wake you?"

 

"No, just had a bad dream."

 

"Uhh-- you know---uhm. Wanna tell me about it?"

 

"Rather not." It comes out colder than I wanted.

 

"Oh, sorry. Still about this whole holiday with the name I won't say thing?"

 

At that I lightly laugh. She's so adorable.

 

"Not really. Just my imagination playing tricks on me. What are you doing?"

 

She gives me a broad smile and for a moment I'm taken aback by how beautiful her smile can be.

"Making a mix for you and Jesse, mostly for you, but don't tell him that."

 

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

 

We share a laugh.

"If that was your way of making fun of Jesse I must say I'm impressed. You always have another side to learn about, huh?"

 

"I won't make it easy for you. So, wanna show me your hard work or do you wanna wait for Jesse?"

 

"That would take too long. Oh, speaking of Jesse, what would you say if Aubrey found out that a Treble is sleeping in her bed at this moment?"

 

"I would say, I take this information to the grave with me. So, how did I get into bed?"

 

"Obviously I have super strenght and...okay, Jesse helped but I put the blanket over you!"

 

We laugh for a few minutes and I cuddle into her, listening to the track she made. It's a mashup of A bunch of songs, starting with _Price Tag,_ going over to _Don't you forget about me_ then _Just the way you are_ and _Give me everything._ It's great, the best I've heard of hers so far.

She hands me a flash drive and I look at her, not knowing what she wants.

 

"I've seen what you can do, I want you to make it perfect. Add all those tiny details. Everything you want. This may be good, but you can make it perfect."

 

I grab her hand and drag her to my room with me, watching her crawl into my bed I have to smile. She's getting comfortable around me, a really good thing. She holds the blanket up for me, so I hurry up and hopp in beside her, putting the flash drive on my desk. I pull her towards me, feeling relieved as she stops to tense and starts to cuddle into me by herself.

With my empty hand I reach into the drawer of my nightstand, pulling out an old family picture. I hand it over to Beca and try to interpret the change on her facial features.

 

"Chlo, is that—but there's two of you."

 

"That's because there were two of me. The one in the blue shirt, that's me. The one next to me, looking like me is, was, my sister, Kate."

 

"You had a twin?"

 

So I tell her, I tell her the reason why I hate christmas. She looks lovingly at the picture of Kate, my dad and me, listening intently. My mum took it, the summer before they died.

 

"I was a daddy's child while Kate preferred to cling to my mother and really, I was the rebellious one of us. That day is perched into my head, I was grumpy and I wanted to stay inside and wait for the christmas celebrations to start but Kate wouldn't have it. It was the first time she wasn't doing as I wanted, normally she would just go along with everything I wanted. They say it's sometimes that way with twins, the younger one following the older one around, until they want to break free and start to rebel against the older twin. I finally relented, telling her that I would go out to play in the snow with her if she finally shuts up."

I take a deep breath. It's been ages since I told anybody about this.

"We were out, playing in the snow for a while. Then I got bored and decided to play a trick on her, hiding behind the trees around the lake. I thought she would look for me, like she always did, but she didn't. I went back to the house, thinking she would have gone back but she didn't. Dad was so mad at me for leaving her alone but mom stood up for me, telling him to calm down. We went looking for her, dad and I. When we found her she was playing on the frozen lake, totally carefree. Shouting at me, that one day she was going to be a dancer. She made some sort of dance move and then the ice broke, the lake swallowing her. Dad run out on the ice, shouting for me to get help. I've never ran this fast before. Mum called for help with her cell while we ran back to the lake. I sat there, I don't know how long, looking out onto the lake waiting for dad to come out with Kate. He didn't.

The policemen and firefighters came, with special equipment, and after a bit of a struggle they pulled the two bodies out of the lake. I was crying, thrashing around, punching everyone that wanted to touch me. Mom was silent, too silent. She tried to be strong for me, but it was never easy, not with me resembling her loss.

I went back on the lake the next week, jumping up and down right on the same spot where Kate had vanished, pleading for it to swallow me too. It never did. I'm not afraid of the water, it gives me this feeling of being reunited with her. Losing your twin makes you go crazy, I see her every time I look into the mirror and I even started to try to be Kate, wanting to make it easier for my mum, but of course that would never help.

Christmas is hard, so hard to survive because one part of me already died. Died on a fucking Christmas Evening and even though my mother never blamed me for what happened that day, I do. Believe me when I say that I would give everything to change places with her."

 

There is a heavy silence in the room. It seems like Beca doesn't dare to speak, fearing that I'm not done, but I am.

 

"That sucks. Really. But you know, I'm glad you're here. I need you here."

 

"Maybe you would have liked Kate as well."

 

"Maybe, but she would have never been you, Chlo. It's you that I want, I love you."

 

I pull her flat against me, our legs tangling together, her arms coming around my midsection and mine holding onto her back with a tight grip.

The only feeling I have right now is not grief, it's a feeling of belonging, I belong here.


	17. Cheesy

 

**Chapter 17: Cheesy**

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

So the other night went pretty well between me and Chlo, but we haven't crossed _that_ line, you know. Still, I feel like she opened up to me so much and I wanna do something for her, anything to show her just how much this all means to me. It should be simple but also very nice and relaxing, so she can feel free. 

So I do a list with what I have to buy and the things Chloe likes. My thoughts are full with kinds of fruits, cheese, bread and cookies and of course, Skittles. Sitting on my bed I make notes of everything I wanna prepare for this day as I will surprise Chloe with a picknick which has to be aca-amazing!

After all Christmas holydays it's a good idea to let all the stress behind, I think. I choose friday afternoon for the planned activity and call Chloe immediately after I have my master-plan finished.

“Hey Chlo, what do you do onfriday afternoon?” I ask exited and hope for an answer which does not cross my intentions. “I haven't got any plans, yet. Why-”, “That sounds great, sooo then you have plans for this day _no_ _w_ “, I said with a big smile on my face at the other end of the line. “Hmm, so what we gonna do then? Now I'm curious...”, Chloe wants to know, but I won't tell her. I am lucky that I can't see her cute face now because then I'm sure that I couldn't stay strong and keep it a surprise, so I simply say “It's a surprise, sweety. I hope you will like it”. What the heck, did I just call her sweety? I'm losing my touch! She doesn't react on the nickname part, what I'm grateful for and instead assures me that she will like whatever I planned, using her wonderful voice and I still feel my heart beating minutes after this call.

1111111111111111111

 

This night I dream about her, again, I've dreamed about her for months, but this time it feels so real, like it never has before. It's summer time and we swim in a lake together. The sun shines on her red hair and I can see her deep blue eyes shining even brighter when I tickle her in the clear water. When she laughs I feel happier then ever before in my life.

I still feel the happy bliss as I wake up slowly on thursday morning. Images of Chloe playing around in the water, splashing me occasionally, still flood my mind. It is still pretty early in the morning and though I have a lot to do today, I feel like staying in the bed for a few more peaceful minutes won't hurt. That dream was kinda surreal. I mean, yeah, Chloe and me on a happy date after all the planning I made yesterday is not that big of a surprise to dream about, but the lake part? Yeah, not so normal. I do get that Chloe told me about the lake a bit that night she told me what happened to her twin, but why do I dream of a happy memory on a lake when I know, that Chloe sure as hell can't be that happy at such a place?

Maybe it's a hopeful string of thought that crossed my mind, leading me to believe that I can make it better. Maybe I can, maybe I can't. What I do know for sure is that I would probably be dead by now if there were two of Chloe's kind in the world, wouldn't I?

I decide to get up as more and more inappropriate images start to creep into my head. Taking a shower I wish to erase the image of not one, but two Beales entering my shower, singing _Titanium_ and telling me to make music with my mouth...

1111111111111111111

 

Equipped with the biggest bag I could find I make my way to the supermarket. Not having a car is a bummer, but then again, I only know of one person that has a car and would be willing to help me and that is exactly the person I wanna surprise.

Surfing through the isles, thanks to the freshly cleaned and still very wet floor, I start to imagine us having a picknick at the lake from my dream, sunbathing, cuddling on a blanket...That's when it hits me. I planned a fucking picknick in the middle of winter! I mean, it's cold out and raining nearly 24/7! Fuck! Change of plans? But how the hell, no. Cancel? Can't, already invited her. Oh for god sake!

 

I'm so lost in my mind that I don't watch my steps and the next thing I know is that my arse hits the wet floor after an impact. Shit, I totally ran into someone.

I feel the heat rise to my cheeks and start to stummer out some “excuses” when I realise that the person standing right in front of me is laughing heavily.

 

“God, Beca. Wouldn't have pegged you as the _easily blushing_ type!”

Right in front of me stands CR, bent over, one hand clutching her belly and laughing so loud that I think the whole shop can hear her. She seems to calm down enough to register that I'm still very much in the middle of the floor, on my arse, my head resembling a tomato.

After she helps me up and her breathing seems to come more regular she finally registers my absence of sarcasm and promptly tells me as much. How can I be sarcastic when I feel like the earth should swallow me whole?

 

“Must be that I'm a bit lost in my mind, sorry again.”

 

She gives me a genuine smile, “It's no problem at all, you bounced right off of me.”

 

I have to laugh at that. “Yeah, think about poor Lily, would have run her straight over.”

 

We share a laugh. “At least you didn't collide with Aubrey, she would have puked out of surprise, I guess.”

 

“Well, than the shower earlier would have been for nothing.”

 

We talk a bit more, mostly about Bellas and university in general, until she asks me something I didn't expect. “So, err. You and Denise, is there something _more_ between you two?”

 

What?! I mean, yeah, we do hang out quite a lot but “No, not really. We're just good friends. Friendship, that's what we have.”

 

“You would tell me the truth, though, wouldn't you?” Maybe there is still something between them.

 

“Nah, believe me. Just good friends. I have my eyes set on someone else.”

True. I'm so whipped.

 

“Huh, I imagine a ginger with bright blue eyes, bit taller than you...”

 

“That obvious?”

 

She only nods. Right now she is my best shot at trying to save the date I have planned so I ask for her advice. Her answer is kinda cryptic but I think I get what she means with “picknick is not defined by being outside”.

 

With the two of us constantly chatting, meaning she talks and I listen, the shopping trip is over in no time.She helps me carry the stuff to my dorm room and we put it into the mini-fridge Kimmy Jin owns. What she doesn't know and all that.

I was a bit surprised that Cynthia Rose was back from her vacation so early, but she told me that after Aubrey and I left Stacie's, the others made plans to do a _New Year's Eve_ -party instead and she kinda chided me for not reading the Bellas chat (some stupid Facebook thingy) regularly.

Good thing I heard of this today and not on saturday evening, right before the party started.

1111111111111111111

 

Okay, so today is the day. In an hour I'm picking up Chloe at her flat and I still haven't found out what I'm going to wear. It is a picknick, so casual clothes should be appropriate but then again it's inside and I have prepared quite a meal. For fuck sake, I even baked a marble cake yesterday evening and I can tell you, sharing a kitchen with the whole dorm floor is annoying.

 

Focus, Beca. Go with your grungy look, Chloe likes that. Well then, I change into my best tight black, ripped jeans and while rummaging through my shirt collection I come across my Batman T-Shirt. I remember Chloe standing in the middle of her street in her spiderman PJ's and I can't shake the feeling that superheroes are our little thing. Maybe next time I'll wear my Iron Man shirt; I should totally get myself a shirt made with _Titanium Girl_ in bold letters on the front _._

 

Chloe is already waiting in front of her flat, even though I'm 10 minutes early. She seems a bit off and I hope that her mood isn't on a permanent low. That would be a bummer, AND kinda ruin the day. Why am I always this optimistic?

 

I put a bit more speed behind my last steps, eager to finally spend some time with her. The last days without my Chloe-dosis were a bit, yeah well, l-a-m-e. Geez, I'm an addict! A fuckin' Chloe-addict.

If you had told me that Barden would change me this much before I moved here, I would have laughed like shit. But then again, I do keep saying that, don't I?

My body leans into her without my brain actually registering it, my mouth getting closer and closer and then-BOOM. Due to her leaning in for a HUG I totally bumped our heads together. Okay, this is definitely not my week. I keep bumping into people, things drop out of my hands, like constantly and oh, you don't even know the story of me hitting Kimmy Jin with the fucking baking plate in the dorm kitchen. Let me tell you, she was NOT amused, but then again, the others from my dorm who were around laughed their arses off. It was quite a sight, believe me. It was an accident, didn't know she was standing right behind me...oh well, I would definitely do it again.

Karma is a bitch and she had it coming.

 

Still, I have not the best record this week and I feel my cheeks gaining colour as I realise that Chloe hadn't leant in to kiss me. She looks a bit flushed herself, until a smile breaks out on her face and I answer with a face splitting one myself. We giggle, yes I do giggle sometimes, so shut your mouths! We stand there, on the middle of the street, laughing and every damn bywalker looks at us like we fucking lost our minds. I actually don't give a fucking damn.

1111111111111111111

 

Chloe keeps on asking me constantly where we're headed but I keep shtum. Hard thing to do but not looking her in the eyes helps a lot. When I stop in front of the gym (our Bella's rehearsal room) she gives me a curious look. Imagine her eyes getting bigger as I take the key out of my pocket. I open the door for her and let her enter first, manners and all that bullshit.

If her eyes were big before, they are nearly popping out of her head now. I decorated the whole fucking room. In the middle (where you normally find our chairs) is a huge blanket an pillows sprawled out on the floor. There is a rose next to it and I actually managed to arrange the few plants that normally stand in the corner of the gym, more like dieing in the corners, so that with a bit of imagination (a shit load of imagination) you could interpret them as a little forest. Everywhere you look is food and I even managed to get a wine cooler.

“Beca, this is...amazing. Wow, just wow. You're wonderful, you know that, right?”

 

“Nah, this is nothing. I felt like doing something for you after you, you know, told me everything. Actually, this is kinda cheesy but I dreamed of us tonight.”

 

“Having _wet_ dreams about me? Didn't know you are _that_ kind of girl.” She mocks me, but the way here eyes shine tells me that she appreciates it.

 

“Yeah, that happened too. But that's not really the part I wanted to talk about.”

 

“Damn, there I was, getting all my hopes up.” We share a laugh, a really long one. She's so beautiful when she laughs, scrap that, she's always beautiful.

 

“Maybe later, though for now, back to the topic.” I motion for her to lay down with me on the blanket. “My dream was about us, having a picknick, lying at a beautiful lake.” I can feel her pulling a bit away from me. My guess was right, she's not fond of lakes. I grab some crapes and crawl on her lap, straddling her, this way she can't run away.

“You know,” I feed her a grape, “one day I wanna take you to one, show you how beautiful they really are, jump in with you, do all the things to you that I did in my dream and I mean _all_ of it.” I feed her another grape, from above her head and my eyes drift to her throat. She's so beautiful, I know I'm repeating myself but hell, she is. My eyes stay glued to her throat as she stretches it to reach for the offered fruit and of course she notices it, making her reach even higher for the next one. My mind is stuck, where was I?

 

We continue our little game until there are no more grapes left, instead she stretches her neck to reach for my mouth and I'm rewarded with the most passionate kiss we ever shared. She kisses me, again and again and I fear I won't have enough breath to last for the kisses to come. I have to awkwardly breathe in between kisses but Chloe, Chloe doesn't seem to need air at all. By the time I feel Chloe pull away, though just a bit, I long stopped caring about need for oxygen, but by the look in her eyes she was afraid I was going to pass out. I do feel light-headed.

 

Her hands fall from where she played with the hem of my shirt, so I untangle my fingers from her hair, god only knows when I even put them there, they must have a mind of their own. She reaches for my hands and starts to run her thumps over my knuckles. I can't really describe the feeling that it elicits in me, but it's somewhere around content and secure.

 

My line of thought is broken by her wonderful voice. “You know, my scale of experiences with lakes is not the best.” I want to tell her that we can create lots of good memories together but something in me stops me, so I just wait for her to speak again. It's only a few minutes later that she seems to have escaped her own thoughts. “We can try.”

 

“Are you sure?”

She shakes her head no, then yes and then she just smiles at me. “I wanna try, for you, for me, for Katie, for...us.”

 

My breath catches, she just said us, didn't she? Does that mean we're an item now? Oh, this day is too good to be true. She seems to have misinterpreted my silence though as her face falls and concern takes over her once relaxed features.

“Did I say something wrong? Becs, I, if I just scared you now, just tell me.”

  
“No, no...no. Yes, you did scare me, but just for a second or two! Look at me, not scared anymore. You just took me by surprise.” I lean forward again and catch her lips with mine. As she wants to deepen the kiss I pull slightly away. “I really love you, Chloe Beale.” Closing my eyes I lean forward again but this time I only find air, not soft lips. Irritated I wait for a moment, but Chloe doesn't connect her lips with mine. Groaning, I open my eyes and find hers instantly. They look damp but she smiles that kind of smile that seems to split her face at any moment.

“I do too, I love you, Beca Mitchell.”

 

This time she closes the gap between us and another make-out session begins. I don't know if that's even possible, but my stamina seems to have improved, or maybe I did faint earlier and all this is just my imagination. If it is, I never wanna wake up. I don't know for how long we kiss but my lips feel swollen and I can't hold back a high-pitched moan as Chloe lightly bites down on that sweet spot, just between my shoulder and neck.

She stops at once and I feel myself blush. “Chlo, I'm sorry I uh, huh...”

 

As her eyes open she gives me a confused look but then she seems to catch on to my line of thought. “Oh god Becs, no. That was a cute sound, don't be ashamed. It's just, you've been on my lap all this time and my legs, they feel kinda limp. I just have to stretch them for a bit.”

 

“Oh. Oh! Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I prepare for a hasty retreat but Chloe starts to laugh and grabs my hips, making me unmovable. When she finally calms down she gives me a wink before lifting me up and placing me down on the blanket. Before I know what's going on she's all over me, making me lie fully on my back.

 

“I wonder...”

 

“What?” I'm confused, did I miss something?

 

“Will you make that cute sound again if I bite that same spot?” Without waiting for an answer she's already at it. I don't think that sound is cute, it's actually rather annoying, but if she likes it, how could I deny it to her? I never believed that there could be anyone in the world who could make me feel this way, yet there always was. My breath hitches as I feel her hands caressing my stomach, drawing circles on my belly and even tracing lines between the valley of my breasts. Her hands are so soft and warm and then I realise, I am utterly and completely at her mercy. My breath gets even more laboured as her hands get nearer and nearer to my breasts over the time, and sometimes even tease the flesh right underneath the hem of my jeans.

By the time she finally slides under my bra and teases the soft flesh there I am lost. The only things I seem to be still capable of are moaning, very loudly so, and scratching at her back. I'm sure she'll have angry red marks there tomorrow, but then again, I can already feel a bruise forming on my neck, where she constantly alternates between sucking, licking and biting. Oh, just imagine her mouth wandering lower...no, no, filthy Beca! _It's all from our mouths._ If I had known she meant it literally-

I wanna tell her to kiss me but my mouth can't form the words, so I open my eyes, hoping I can covey the message through them. When did she pull of my clothes again? Nevermind. She looks up and indeed, she kisses me right away. Her tongue teases mine for a second before she pulls away again, but before I can protest she's found a new sweet spot she can tease with her mouth, and fingers...simultaneously, as it seems and my brain shuts off.

 

1111111111111111111

 

By the time I manage to come back to my senses, Chloe lies half-way above me and has as much of the blanket thrown over me as possible. She actually sports an one-sided grin, no more like a smirk and isn't that normally my thing?

“Well Miss Beale, the plan was to seduce you with all this food, a cake, a massage and even get you a little drunk on this now surely warm wine. That was unnecessary, as it seems.”

 

“Huh, if I'd known that I would have waited till after the massage at least. But Beca, you do know you can't handle your alcohol as well as me.”

 

“Maybe I would have just pretended to drink? I didn't even put the music on. I can't even move right now, I think.”

 

“You don't have to, we'll eat later and then we're going to talk about that massage again. However, I still have one question to ask.”

 

“Shoot,”

 

“How in the world did you get the key to the gym? As far as I know, Bree is the only student that has a spare one.”

 

1111111111111111111

 

_I'm terrified as I ring the bell to Aubrey's and Chloe's flat. As Bree opens it she gives me the best death glare she has, reminding me of that time at the Activities Fair. She states that Chloe isn't home, having a math class at the moment, but I already know that. I'm stating that I need a favour of her_ _and I can see that it takes every self control she has not to slam the door in my face. She's never been too fond of me but I know that she loves Chloe more than she hates me_ _and I hope that it will be enough to make her agree._

_I elaborate my plans, very detailed,because I know it's the only way to get her to help me. She occasionally nods as I just go on and on for minutes and even after I finish she stays silent for a few moments more. The time stretches on as I wait for an answer. Finally she musters me once more, biting her cheek before giving her approval._

_I actually feel the rock falling of off my heart. She vanishes for a few minutes inside the flat until she comes back out, dangling the key in front of me._

 

“ _You will not hurt her, you will be on your best behaviour and you will clean the place afterwards. Understood?” I just nod and try to grab the key, but she lifts it over our heads, out of my reach. “I asked you something.”_

 

“ _Yeah, everything noted. I promise.” She moves her hand down a bit before pulling it up again. By now I feel annoyed as hell._

 

“ _Now you owe me something, understood? I don't know when I'll ask something of you and I sure as hell don't know what it'll be, but you'll do as I say.” Did she just swear? She raises one eyebrow at me, so I promise to obey, yet again._

 

_Thinking back to it, I can't shake the feeling that I just made a deal with the devil and it will come to bite my ass._

 

1111111111111111111

 

“Believe me, Chloe, you don't wanna know. I think I exchanged my soul for it.” But as I lay here, one arm draped over Chloe's midsection and my head on her breast, right above her heart, I just know that I would give everything for her, for moments like this. And yes, I am a cheesy mess.

 

“That was the most aca-amazing sex I ever had.”

 

“But Chlo, I didn't even do anything last time I checked. You kinda catched me out of guard here.”

 

“Well, I found it wonderful. And I'm sorry, I tend to jump a bit fast into things sometimes.”

 

“ _You_ were wonderful. I bet I had the best first time, ever.”

 

“Wait! What? Beca, why didn't you say something?”

 

“I didn't wanna stop you. Believe me, this was better than anyone could imagine it.”

 

“But you made this, _all_ this. The romantic stuff and the picknick and, really, this should have been me.”

 

“But _you_ made it special, not that stuff.”

 

See, I told you. I'm getting cheesier by the minute...


	18. Love is a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone still there? Yes? Good. So sorry for not updating in forever but my life is like a hurricane at the moment. So many exams behind me and still 3 coming up (2 make up exams -.-) and I have to do an internship now, meaning I have actually no semester break at all.  
> However, I am still motivated to do this fanfiction and we're already walking with big steps towards the end. Probably two or three chapters after this and an epilogue. The epilogue will take some time I think, I wanna make it right and end my first real multi chapter fiction the best way I can. After this chapter the plot will change quite a bit as a contrast to the movie.
> 
> I wanna say thank you again, for sticking with this so far and for those who leave comments, you guys rock and motivate me to no end.
> 
>  
> 
> Summery: Stepmonster 2.0  
> Beca grew up with her mum after her father left them. She lost contact to him a while ago but now he wants to bond again. Why? Well she has to find out, but why does she have to go to Barden, where he's teaching when she wants to have a go at being a DJane in LA? Bonding, with her father and his new family? Now that is something she doesn't want to do, more so since she knows that her stepsister, or how she prefers to call the unknown girl, stepmonster 2.0 is attending Barden as well.
> 
> Pairing: Beca/Chloe and Friendship: Chloe/Aubrey and Jesse/Beca
> 
> Disclaimer: If I would own Pitch Perfect, there would be Bechloe!

 

**So, here's what happened last:**

**Beca found out about the death of Chloe's twin sister and dad, resulting in Chloe hating Christmas. Aubrey and the other Bellas went to visit their families over Christmas while Beca stayed behind to take care of a sick Chloe.**

 

**Their date before New Years Eve turned out pretty well, with them getting to know each other very intimately. However, Chloe still has to tell the biggest secret she's keeping and she should better hurry. We all know karma is a bitch.**

 

 

**Chapter 18: Love is a Lie**

 

 

**Beca's PoV:**

 

Guys, let me tell you this, I had the most amazing New Years Eve EVER! After the disastrous Christmas Party everyone agreed to come back to welcome the new year together and this time we had the fun of our lives, believe me. Everyone was happy, cheery and quite drunk. We screamed more than said the countdown together and Chloe and I managed to sneak in a snogging session. Kissing someone on New Years Eve means only good things, right?

I for myself decided to give the last kiss of this year to the one I gave the first. I love kissing Chloe.

 

1111111111111111111

 

Did I tell you how much I hate the Bella uniform? No? Well, consider me complaining now if I haven't already done it before! I'm serious, I hate this crappy fuckin...grrr. I never get the scarf right, Aubrey always, ALWAYS fixes it, at least three times before we perform. At least Luke is playing decent songs on the radio. _Music for the independent mind_ how he would call it.

I open the scarf one more time and try to fix it around my neck again. Seriously, why am I even trying if I know Aubrey will still redo it? Oh, hey. Now this song is catchy... _this time baby- I'll be bulletproof..._ WAIT, that's my remix! Damn, how in hell didn't I notice this sooner? Fuck the fucking scarf. Luke's playing my music. Check the clock Beca, you need to run over there! Lucky the radio station is like 50 meters away from my dorm. I grab my things and start to run like the world behind me is on fire.

 

1111111111111111111

 

Ooookay. Things I learned today: Luke really likes my mixes, now that's always something good. He tried to ask me out, not so good, need to inform him about the beautiful redhead I'm dating...

oh yeah, and Jesse is still mad at me. Maybe I was a bit unfair, he at least tried to get me out of the police station but calling Richard was uncalled for! Okay, maybe I'll talk to him later and aaahh-apologise. Maybe.

For now I'll just relish in the feeling of hearing my song on the radio.

Did I tell you how we're getting to the semi-finales? Aubrey rented a freaking bus! Well, it is kinda cool actually. The only problem there really was that no one has ever driven a freaking bus, well except for Fat Amy, but then again, what hasn't she done before? Obviously one of her many boyfriends tought her how to drive one while they were on a love cruise...I didn't dare ask for details.

 

Chloe and I decided to tell the others about us after the semi-finales. Aubrey would hate us for causing a distraction, maybe even kill us. No, actually she would only kill me. Chloe is probably the only person who can stand up to her without being hated permanently. I took a seat near the front of our mini bus, if I hadn't I would definitely stare at Chloe the whole drive through. Believe me, it's still hard, but hey, I'm a badass, I can do this!

Oh, we're stopping, I guess Amy needs to refill gas.

 

1111111111111111111

 

That was a longer stop than planned. Bumper the idiot threw a big burrito at Amy and it hit her square at the chest. She wasn't amused and Aubrey...Aubrey was calm. Actually, freaking calm. Now that's something I never thought to see, but then again I never thought to fall in love with that gorgeous redhead that is currently searching for the emergency uniform that could fit Fat Amy in the back of the bus. Aubrey keeps us calm and motivates us, a role she never took before and she's actually pretty good at it, big surprise there. Maybe she has features needed to be a leader, she only decides to never show them.

I walk to the bus to help Chloe and I'm greeted with a short peckon my mouth.

 

“Hey gorgeous. How's Amy holding up?”

 

Considering the circumstances... “Fine. A bit angry but Aubrey keeps her in check.”

 

“Yeah, she's good at that.”

 

“Can I ask you a question, Chlo?”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Why aren't you captain?”

 

“I'm co-captain.”

 

“I mean the real one.”

 

“You see, I can be a bit easily distracted and I forget things. Aubrey never does and she's so devoted. I don't think I could have done a better job-oh here it is. This should fit Fat Amy. Let's take it to her.”

 

1111111111111111111

 

Amy is dressed in a clean pair of clothes again, the only thing reminding of the incident is the little bit of burrito left behind her ear. She wants to keep it. Gross, I know, but then again, she's taking it to full her anger. Well, if it helps us succeed.

Chloe keeps on ignoring me, listening to her IPod and watching the fields passing by, rather then glancing over at me. I can do that too, totally. I'll just look out through the other window.

 

**Chloe** “I hopped off the plane at LAX  
With a dream and my cardigan”

 

Okay, someone's in a good mood.

 

**Chloe+CR** “Welcome to the land of fame excess whoa  
Am I gonna fit in?”

 

Seems like her mood is contagious.

 

**Chloe+CR+Amy** “Jumped in a cab”

 

Scap that. Now everyone is joining in. Seriously? What is this, a school trip in 5th grade?

God. Embarrassing. Hell, even Aubrey sings along.

Great, Chloe is leaning closer. Just don't look at her. Don't. Don't. Damnit! Fantastic, now everyone is looking at me and singing right to me. I know what they want, they're not gonna get it. This would probably kill my last coolness points.

Stacie keeps getting closer and closer. Is she gonna threat me with her nail file or what? Laugh it off Beca. They stopped. They actually stopped and now I shall sing. How did I get myself into this again? Thank you _dad_. Don't look at me like that, Chlo. It's unfair. Oh, to hell with it.

**All** “So I put my hands up  
They're playing my song  
The butterflies fly away  
Nodding my head like yeah  
Moving my hips like yeah  
I put my hands up  
They're playing my song  
I know I'm gonna be okay  
Yeah  
It's a party in the U.S.A.  
Yeah  
It's a party in the U.S.A.” 

 

Now that was an experience. I never sang in a bus with a bunch of chicks before. Surprisingly, I'd do it all over again. I'm pulled out of my euphoria by the sound of a dying bus -wait, it's ours!

 

1111111111111111111

 

Things I never wanna do again? Drive with Fat Amy if it means she forgets to refill fuel and nerver ever do I wanna share a bus with the Trebles again. Jesse seamed in a better mood, but he ignored me most of the ride. One time he looked at me and Chloe and I think he does know something but he never said anything about it. I want my friend back. This is annoying.

The only positive outcome this had was that I got to sit next to Chloe. Our sides were crushed together, I mean, there wouldn't have been enough room anyway *cough*. Both CR and Denise kept mostly to themselves but I never saw them talking, not to each other. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad but at least none of them has asked me about Chloe. Actually it's like CR and I have never talked to each other in the store but Denise keeps on smiling at me when I look at her. She seems happy for me and sometimes she puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. I've never been one for a lot of body contact when you like someone, but the way she does it has a calming effect on me.

 

At least we made it to the stage. Now we only have to live through our lame performance and not doze off through it. We're never gonna make it to the finals. The group now performing are called the Footnotes and let me tell you, they're good. Their lead singer has a voice like a little boy and their performance is upbeat and fast, not like ours.

 

Okay, now our turn has come. Puh, now don't get nervous, Beca.

 

We start with our performance and I can see the jury practically dieing out of boredom. My eyes drift over the Bellas. I need to save us, now. Out of the blue I start singing Bulletproof. It matches with the song and even though some Bellas are a bit overrun with my added change everyone is smiling, except for Aubrey of course.

 

1111111111111111111

 

Let me tell you, Aubrey didn't take it well. After our performance and thankfully behind the stage all hell broke loose. Aubrey was screaming at me for messing up everyone and I screamed right back at her. The others seemed to be highly uncomfortable. We were about to choke each other to death when Jesse arrived. He grabbed us by the hands and shoved us into a staff room that wasn't far away, locking it from the outside. That's where I currently am. In a fucking 2m2 small room with none other than Aubzilla to talk to.

 

“I found it rude of you to just start singing.” Wow, she seems calmer now. At least she doesn't bite my head off.

 

“I'm sorry okay? It's just...I felt like I needed to do something...before...” Damn, I can't say what I think. This is my girlfriends best friend after all.

 

“Before...? Before everyone would fall asleep, right?” Is she about to cry? Did I just hit my head or has she said what I thought?

 

“Err, well...” Here goes nothing “Yeah.”

 

“I'm sorry, Beca. I mean, I'm not tolerating what you did out there on stage but I get why you felt like you had to do it. Our performance was boring, you were right, actually, all Bellas were right. It's just, I have so much to lose by not winning ICCAs this year. It's the last chance I get and my dad really keeps on pushing me to win, even more so since the debacle last year. Can you understand me, at least a bit?”

 

I do. “Yeah, you see, I never really wanted to join the Bellas but my dad and I made a deal. If I joined a club and went a whole year to college then he would help me get my career as a DJ on in LA. I never even wanted to go to college and yet here I am, not so badass anymore, spending a lot time with being cheesy and running around being proud to be a Bella. I am still a Bella, right?”

 

Aubrey wipes a lone tear away from her cheek and nods at me, pulling me in for a hug. Not something I ever imagined doing but nevertheless I throw my arms around her and we both nearly crush ourselves to death.

 

“Stop, stop. Short stuff here running out of air.”

 

We both laugh at my statement. “For the record, I never cried.”

 

“Alright, and I definitely didn't call myself _short stuff._ ”

 

“Noted. Oh, and we never hugged.”

 

“Do you really think they'd believe us?”

 

1111111111111111111

They didn't beleave us, it actually took us quite some time to convince the others to let us back out. Chloe and I decided to get some fresh air before the jury announces the winners and maybe get some kissing done. The Bellas finally accept each other and we're finally thinking of us as a group, a family. We are a perfectly unperfect bunch of a family. I'm so lost in my feelings that I don't recognise my mum until I walk right into her.

 

“Mum! What are you doing here?”

 

She smiles a bright smile at me. “I knew you'd forget about your mum visiting. I told you I'd be there for the semi-finale. Your dad wants me to excuse him but he has a lot of work to do for University. Something about a conference tomorrow.”

 

Of fucking course. As if he'd be interested in his daughter singing. “Yeah, no problem. How was your ride? You're staying with Richard, right?” I need to introduce her to Chloe, but how should I do this? _Oh, hey, mum._ _This is Chloe, my girlfriend._ Nope.

 

“Yes.” She turns to Chloe and gives her a bright smile. “I believe it's your room I'm staying in. Chloe, right? Richard never mentioned that you're a Bella as well, but I've seen the pictures in your room. They're very cute.”

 

Wait, WHAT? Why would Chloe live with _my_ dad? Oh god not please tell me this isn't true. This would mean she's the _stepmonster 2.0!_ No, there's gotta be something wrong here, right? Right?

Chloe?

 

She looks like a deer caught in headlights. I look at her disbelievingly. This must be a nightmare, a pretty bad one, no, the worst nightmare ever. Did she know about this? The way she acts she definitely did know something. How could she do this? She knows how much I hate my dad, she knows me. Everything. I opened myself up so much for her, let her break through all my walls and for what?

I feel the tears trying to free themselves from my eyes.

“Tell me this isn't true Chloe. Tell me this is a misunderstanding.” I nearly plead her. This is me begging for a different outcome.

 

“Beca...” Her voice is barely above a whisper and she can't meet my eyes.

 

“Okay. Then tell me, _tell me_ , tell me you didn't know until now.” I know this wouldn't solve all problems but at least it wouldn't mean that she lied to me, _lied to me the whole time._

 

“I...I...I'm so, _so,_ sorry.” Her voice breaks. This is too much for me. I need to get out of here.

 

I storm out of the building, I just need to get away, away from everyone. Chloe, my mum, the Bellas, Chloe. I stop at the corner of the street and lean over, dry heaving a few times. I know that she's not blood related to me but still, she's my fucking stepsister. She's the daughter of the woman I despise the most. How could she do this to me? I thought I fucking love her. No. I only thought that, this is not real. It cannot be, none of this was real, it was all a lie.

 

“Beca, please.” I don't even want to hear her voice now.

 

“What, Chloe?!” Okay, anger is good, makes the dry heaving stop.

 

“I didn't...”

 

“You didn't what? Didn't love me at all. It was all just a joke?”

 

“NO! How can you even say that? I didn't-”

 

 

“Didn't think I would ever find out? Hello? Something like this was bound to happen! What would you have said if I wanted you to meet both my parents, huh?Hell, would you have told me before or after our marriage? No wait, that would have been _funny as hell,_ right? Finding out at the altar!

What would you have done if I went to one of the fucking Mitchell Family Dinners?”

 

She shakes her head slowly, looking at her feet. As she looks up she imitates a kicked puppy perfectly. “See, this is why I didn't wanna tell you.”

 

“Great, now this is all about me, big bad Beca. It's always all me, I think my dad, no _our_ dad would totally agree with that. He always wanted me to be more like Sheila's daughter, to be more like _you._ That explains why he was so happy when I joined the Bellas, huh? Did you all make a plot together? I can't even look at you anymore.” I rip the scarf off my neck and throw it at her. “Consider me out of your life. I don't wanna see you, I don't wanna hear from you, oh and tell _Richard_ he has only one daughter now, so he doesn't even need to pretend otherwise anymore.”

 

And with that I storm off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I didn't end this chapter on a happy outcome BUT at least it's not the cliffhanger I originally planned for it. That would have been after Beca's mum made her statement about where she's staying. I'm still trying to get back in the writing flow after this dry weeks of not posting or writing anything. The next chapters will be Chloe chapters cause that makes sense, at least for me who does know what's about to happen. So you see, I left the movie plot now.  
> What is your opinion so far? Was this a “good” outcome, well, not good, but well written? Did you have fun so far? Oh and a very important question, did this reveal turn out how you thought it would, what did you expect to happen? I'm curious!
> 
> Until next time guys.  
> I love you all soooo much ;)


	19. Life goes on

Chapter 19: Life goes on

Beca's PoV:

Nearly a month has passed since the semi-finales. I haven't talked to any of the Bellas in all those weeks. It's not their fault, I know that but still I wanna make a cut and which means that I won't jump back into the a capella scene. The only one left is Jesse. He's been a great help to me and I really appreciate his friendship. We've become quite close over the weeks, so much that I even watch a film with him every day or two. It's the least I could do since he constantly gives me reviews of my music, even though he hates the genre I pick from.  
All the anger made me choose harder songs than I normally would, I started with Metallica and System of a Down but I'm not shying away from more unknown Bands, even going deep into the Heavy Metal scene. It's my stress relief and Jesse accepts that.  
Sometimes I find myself missing the others, and I won't lie, a lot. Especially Denise. She tried to call me a few times and even knocked on my door once, obviously I didn't open up, but eventually she stopped. Damn, I even find myself missing Aubrey! Sometimes, rarely, but still. The only one I really don't miss and I know that it's a horrible thing to say is Chloe. I know I should feel horrible and broken but I can't seem to find those feelings in me. I only feel indifference towards her. She crushed me and it hurt for a few days but then I pulled myself back together. I even go to my classes now and work very hard on acing them. Since I cut myself free from Richard, this time with the approval of my mum, I looked around and decided to work hard and transfer to UCLA. At least I hope I can find my way into music business there.  
Talking about Richard, that fool of a man really tried to tell me that he had thought that I knew all this time about his relationship to Chloe. He's gotta be kidding. I mean even if Chloe is dead to me, this seems rather unlikely. He should have mentioned her, he should have.

1111111111111111111

“Well, Becs. You sure about that? Maybe he did tell you about her.”   
Jesse and I are on our third refill of popcorn and the movie ended while we were at our first. I had to vent again but Jesse is patient with me. We're going over my newest mix and he's pointing out things he would change. I'm not a person that likes to be criticised but since I won't have Chloe to look over them and add her finish, I learned to appreciate his way of just mentioning those parts and letting me figure out a solution myself. 

“Jesse-”  
“Oh, repeat that last part. Yeah, here it seems a bit rough. Sorry, you wanted to say?”

“Rough? Okay, I'll change that part.” He looks at me expectantly. “I was going to say that I'm sure he mentioned her once or twice but he never really introduced us, did he?”

“Well, did you give him a chance to?”

“Are you trying to say that it's my fault?!”

“No, just that maybe you wouldn't be in that mess if you went to one of that family gatherings. He would have had to introduce you two. Are you sure you never met her, not even seen her, a picture maybe?”

“No, Jesse. I really can't recall any of this happening. I mean my dad, sorry, I mean Richard, left over seven years ago and since then I haven't seen him more than 4 times before coming to Barden. Even now I've seen him like what, 3 times? And no, no pictures. I always imagined Stepmonster 2.0 to be ugly. I mean Sheila is not ugly per say but Chloe doesn't look a bit like her, you know.”

“Beca, I'm really sorry that all this happened and I don't want to sound accusing, I'm just curious. Why didn't you attend one of the Mitchell family dinners?”

That question throws me. I always thought I knew why. I mean I hated my dad for what he did back in the days but I think it was something else holding me back all those years. Question is, am I ready to be this honest with Jesse?

“I hate Richard.”

“Really, and that is all the reason? Becaw, I can read you, you know.”

“Great.” I huff. “I think there is one more reason, I never even admitted this to myself before but I think I was afraid.” I stop right there. It all makes sense now.

“Continue, please.”

“Afraid that I would see why he choose a new family, afraid of seeing that my stepsister would be a better daughter to him than I was. I was so, shattered and I didn't wanna see him happy, because he made me unhappy and he hurt mom. He tore our family apart and I couldn't live with the image of a perfect family starring him in one of the main roles.”

“Beca, when people divorce it is not because they have bad daughters, it's because the love has died.”

“No! Mum loved him! You weren't there. They never fought, they were happy and one day he just packed his things and left.”

“Are you sure about that? Have you ever talked to your mom about it?”

“No, why should I! I was there Jesse, I've seen it with my own eyes!”

“How old were you when he left? Eleven, maybe twelve? I really think you should talk to your mom about this. Maybe she can give you closure.”

I hade to admit it but he's right. “How about you go home for spring break?”  
“I can't Jesse, Luke allows me to play my mixes over spring break and I dreamed of that, you know.”

“Okay, well. How about I play your mixes for you. I promise I will play nothing else, scouts honour. That means you can visit your mom and people will still be able to listen to your music.”

“You would do that for me? Why?”

“That's what friend do, you know.”  
I can't believe that I'm about to hug him, but I just have to. He's definitely not as bad as I first thought him to be.  
“Thank you.”

We're silent for a few moments as we look at each other.   
“You were a scout?”  
And with that we start to break into a right laughing fit. This feels so good, laughing like that, fooling around. Maybe I should have let Jesse in from the beginning and shut Chloe out, at least he knows how to be a friend.

Jesse is looking at me, all the laughter gone. Shit, I said that last part out loud.  
“You know Becs, we can't control who we fall in love with.”


	20. A fucked up World

Chapter 20: A fucked up World

Beca's PoV:

Here I am. Sitting on a shitty train to Phenix City. That's where I'm from, just from the outskirts of town. I just hope Jesse was right with what he said. He even helped me pack my bag, one could think he wanted me gone, geez. However, mom will pick me up at the station and I plan on enjoying my week here before talking to her about Richard.  
The train is stopping at yet another station and I can't even begin to describe how much it annoys me that we stop at every goddamn small station on the way. I only chose this train to save money, now I regret that I haven chosen the fast and expensive one.   
There was no sign of any Bella before I left and I feel quite relieved because of that fact. Jesse told me that they didn't make it to finals. Damn, I thought that my spontaneity saved us- I mean them. Still, why should I care? Jesse and his idiotic Treblemakers are gonna win , again. A capella is lame, I'm back to my roots. In more than one sense, I guess. Shit, did I just make a joke to myself?

1111111111111111111

Mom picked me up and only an hour too late. I think that's new record for her. The only thing I wanted to do was fall in bed right away. It's not like I didn't get to sleep on that ridiculously slow train but my back is hurting like hell and I feel grumpy because of that.  
Mom insisted on us cooking together, even though I can't even boil water without burning it. She seems to have planned our whole week. It feels like forever since we enjoyed our time together this much. I really missed this. Us. Just being silly together, like back in the old days.

1111111111111111111

It's official now, I've had the best week ever. Not once I thought about Barden and all the bad things that come with it. The only reminder was a dream I had of Chloe. She was screaming at someone and she looked really angry. I don't know if I was the one she screamed at. That dream was kinda creepy and third person perspective like. Anyway, I moved on. The dream is in the past and the past is gone.  
This is the last evening mom and I have together which means that I finally have to talk to her. It all sounded so good when Jesse told me about it but I don't know anymore. Mom is the only parent I have left and if this causes a rift between us , well, I don't know what I would do. She's been the one constant thing in my life and except for siding with Richard to get me to going to college she did nothing that wronged me.  
Right now we're curled up on the couch together, surrounded by empty takeout bags. We gave up on the cooking experience after we nearly burned the house down on my first evening here. Now you know where I get my cooking skills from, or rather the lack of it.

“Mom, can I talk to you about something serious?”

She laughs. “A badass demands answers, stop asking.”

I join her laugh. “Okay, then. When dad left, you were broken. Did you ever see the divorce coming?”  
She looks surprised by my question. “I'm sorry I shouldn't tear old wounds.”

“No honey. I was just expecting you to ask for advice with the Chloe thing. I'll tell you everything you wanna know. I promised you that when your father left.”

“Well, it still has something to do with the Chloe thing, far fetched. So, did you notice something before dad just up and left?”

She is pondering about an answer, I can see that. “You know honey, not everything in the world is black and white. Your father and I have been together a long, long time before we got you. I never told you this, but when I met your father I was in love with his best friend.”

“What? Did he know?”

“Yes, it was no secret. I've been in love with his best friend for years and then finally came my chance. We were together for two weeks but then I found out that he only was together with me because Richard told him to get his and I quote “Head out of his ass” and see how good of a catch I am. I left him because I wanted someone who could see what I'm worth, you know. Your father and I stayed in contact and soon became best friends. I still consider him the best friend I ever had, even after all we've gone through. We moved together after college, still, we weren't involved romantically and then one day it just happened. I thought that that's it. I made it. We were happy and then we got you and everything just seemed to be perfect.”

“But it wasn't?”

“No, it wasn't. I married my best friend and it was the same for him. We loved each other deeply, but never in the way you should love the one you marry. The one thing holding us together was you. We knew that if one of us would fall in love our world would come crashing down.”

“That's when he fell in love with Sheila?”  
I guess that's the part of the story I know.

“No, that's when I fell in love with Pete, one of my colleagues. I fought against it for years but one night we got drunk on a business meeting and, well. You're old enough to fill the blank.”

Wait, what?! “You were the one who cheated? How old was I then?”

“You were seven at that time.”

“But this can't be. Dad left when I was eleven! Eleven!”

“That's the point. Technically I only cheated once but I never told your father. Pete said he would wait for me, wait till you were old enough to cope better. I loved him, so, so very much. Your father found out four years later. Pete died in a car crash and I was ready to die too. Richard stayed with me even after I told him the truth. He stayed the next two months and looked after you and me. But he knew that our illusion was shattered. I wasn't functioning properly anymore so that day he left he told me he would do so in hope that I would come to my senses and start to care for you again, and for me. It worked. You became my everything and I built my pieces back together around you. Richard promised he would return to me when I'm ready.”

“Oh. I mean, err. Wow. I guess this is where Sheila comes in.”  
“Yes, correct. Your dad was lost too, you know. He always needed someone to care for and it hurt him so much that he couldn't be there for us, but I needed to find my own way and you...if he would have taken you with him I know that I wouldn't be here today. You've always been my rock. I don't know how familiar you are with Sheila and Chloe's background, but they needed him and he was there. They fell in love, the good kind of, the real kind of love. He wanted to come back but you already hated him so much for leaving you and I only wanted to see him happy. He was happy with them, he still is. I've seen it when I stayed there last month and I'm glad he is.”

“This is so much to process. You know, I think it wasn't the fact that he left me that made me hate him. I always thought he was the reason why you're broken and I always thought that I wasn't a good enough daughter.”

“Oh sweety, he loves you. He always adored you and I think he still does so, very much. He misses you and you should visit his office at home. There are so many pictures of you as a child. He complained that he doesn't own any recent made ones.”

She stares at me for a few moments, not even blinking. “I don't know what you're going to do about the Chloe thing but maybe you can find a way to at least forgive your father.”

“I'll try.” We hug each other tight. “Mom, I'm sorry that you lost Pete, I didn't even know.”

“You know, I always thought that you'd be angry at me once you found out the truth.”

“I couldn't. I get it, maybe I wouldn't have been able to understand it before I went to Barden but I do get it now. It's nobodies fault, it was just a succession of coincidences.”

“Does this mean my daughter believes in fate?”

 

“Maybe. Just maybe.”

“You've grown up.”  
1111111111111111111

Here we go again, back at Barden University. The visit was exactly what I needed and while other students used this week to get drunk and probably as high as the high notes I made the first step in the right way. I'm not sure what my next action will be but at least this part of the past is cleared up and I feel so much better now.  
I still don't know if I can face Richard after all that has happened but I will consider it. At least Chloe isn't living there anymore, so even if I go see him, she won't be around.  
As I walk down the road to my dorm I spot her, Chloe, walking fast into my direction, eyes glued to the floor. She looks horrible, cuts and bruises everywhere I can see. What in the world has happened to her? She looks like she had a fight.

“Chlo...”  
Her head snaps up so fast I think I heard a bone crack. She looks longingly at me but then the moment passes and she seems to panic. As fast as her head snapped up it is back down again, eyes shut tight but not tight enough to stop the tears from slipping out.  
“Chlo?”

“I'm so sorry!” And with that she storms off.

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Damn that girl! Even though I should hate her I can't seem to stop myself from worrying over her. I try to call Denise, just so someone knows how badly Chloe looked. She doesn't answer my calls and none of the other Bellas does. Great, just great. Well, then I'll just consider it to be not my problem any longer.  
Instead, back to focusing on myself. I need to hop over to the radio station and see how my mixes do. Hopefully I'll get to play them again. It still hurts that I wasn't the one to play them first. I jump into my shoes and hurry to the station.   
1111111111111111111

Upon entering I can already feel that something's not quite right. The place looks like it was overrun by at least a dozen bulls, very angry ones. The shelves and cupboards are fallen over, if not broken. I can see Luke in the booth, obviously queueing up some songs. When he's done he comes out into the mess and notices me.  
“Been standing there long?”

“Luke, what the hell happened here?!”

“Well, I would tell you to sit down but it's not really an option in this mess. There are still some things unclear but it seems like your friend Jesse tried to play your mixes, announcing them as his own.”

“He did what?! This can't be true!”

“Well, that's the clear part, the unclear part is why.”

“And what does this have to do with the state of this room?”

“I was just called here but what I heard is that a pretty redhead has beaten up Jesse because of it.”

“What?!” Oh no, Chloe...

“You know that Chloe can be fierce, right?”

“You know each other?”

“Yeah, since kindergarten. Used to play with the twins a lot. Even asked Chloe out to prom but she declined. I thought she was too much of a punk to go but she showed up with Aubrey. Damn, those were times.”

“I saw her earlier walking down the street, Luke, she didn't look good. She looked pretty beaten up. How could you let her walk away like that?”

“Like I said, I just got here like thirty minutes ago, by then she was gone. At least Chloe was able to walk, I had to carry that bastard Jesse out myself. He wasn't even able to speak long enough to tell me why he did it.”

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Well, so much to trusting the wrong people. What has happened to me? I've always managed to stay unattached and I break my rule for half a year and * zing*, my life is a huge, smelly mess. I don't know who I can trust anymore, it's like my heart doesn't even want to trust anyone anymore. I was so optimistic about reuniting with my father and now I feel just as indifferent as before my short vacation. This is all so confusing. First Chloe turns out to be the biggest liar alive, then Jesse is there for me, then again he turns out to be an asshole and Chloe shows up to save the day. What spiral has my life become? I feel like drowning. I still can't believe that Jesse could do this, I mean why? And if he wanted to do this from the start, does that mean that it's the reason why he wanted me to visit my mum, so he could be sure I wasn't able to do anything about it? Was it also the reason why he helped me with the fine tuning?  
I feel like my head will explode at any minute now. All I know is that I need to confront him and I will do just that, first thing tomorrow morning. Tonight I'll just try to escape into a better world, there must be one, deep inside my dreams and I hope that my wish will be granted just for this night at least.

 

RRRRRR  
End Chapter 20   
Hope you experienced a surprise there. =)  
Please let me know how you found that chapter, that's of great interest to me!


	21. Good Decisions, Bad Decisions

Chapter 21: Good Decisions, Bad Decisions

 

Chloe's PoV:

Aubrey brought me back to the stage with her, not that I was resisting or anything. I'm broken, totally broken and there doesn't seem to be a glue that could fix me, well, not counting Beca.  
All around me are this beautiful colours, they blur together and create these wonderful shapes. I don't know why my imagination is playing tricks on me right now, as if I don't feel bad enough already. Still, the beautiful shapes are around me and they get clearer by the second. Now I'm going crazy, I just know it. The colours have created an angry Beca, throwing her phrases at me again and again, relentlessly. It's not like I don't deserve it, but just standing on this stage is hard enough already.   
The next thing I know there is a loud roar and I can hear punches and gunfire in the distance, except it isn't. The roar was Aubrey as we got announced second place and the gunfire came from the audience where people started to clap. Have you ever found yourself wishing that a lion would just end you? Right at this moment I did, I would have prefered gunfire over clapping and a lion that tears my guts out over my best friend. Everyone just seemed so god damn happy and all I wanted to do was scream at them, because really, the reason why we made it just left us. Left me. Me. And therefor us. So it's all my fault and by the time the others realise I will wish myself back to the roaring lion and the gunfire.

1111111111111111111

As it turned out we owe it to Benji that we made it second place. I swear that boy surprises me again and again. He saw something suspicious going on with the footnotes front singer and acted upon it. Bad for them, good for the Bellas. I haven't heard from or seen Beca for over a month now. I know that everything is my fault, I am to blame but even if she would speak to me, I wouldn't know what to say. Would I really wanna change my behaviour? Would I do something different if I could? I have no fucking idea. If I had told her the moment I found out at aca-initiation night, what would have happened? Would I haven even been given a chance or would she just have told me to go fuck myself because I'm the daughter of my mother?  
The only thing I know for sure is that even if she would have stayed a Bella and maybe she'd have even spoken to me, she would never have letten me in the way she did. I would have never got to be her girlfriend. So would I really rather change that or is this heartbreak worth it?

1111111111111111111

The others aren't so much mad at me as they're disappointed in me. I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. I feel like I deserve punishment and if they hated me, well, all this would be a lot easier. But it isn't. My life never is. Easy that is. When my dad and Katie died that fateful day I never thought I could overcome my grieve, yet I did. I isolated myself, from everyone, for years. It is my defense mechanism. To cover up my loss I became as cheerful as I am today, or rather was until recently. For Spring Break Bree made the exceptional plan of going to Hawaii and have an aca-bootcamp. Bonding time, for the first time since this new Bella group was formed we would actually try to behave as more than teammates, as friends. The ground rules would include not taking a mobile phone with you, so you would have to communicate with the Bellas and the Bellas only. I was torn. Should I join them? Pretend like nothing happened and continue my life like it was before the impact that is Beca? I couldn't. I made a lame excuse, telling them my mom and I had reservations at a hotel in Spain. Bullshit.  
I knew what I was going to do. I made an appointment to have my nodes removed the first week of Spring Break. It's not like I don't know the consequences of that surgery, I do. If it screws my vocal chords up too much, well, leaving the Bellas is my best option. That way I wouldn't have to face the memories I made of and with Beca there. Bree will be disappointed by the time she finds out what I did, but I just have to do it. My nodes won't get better over time. As with the other Bellas, maybe they will be relieved, maybe disappointed as well. One would never know for sure.

1111111111111111111

I did it, or rather I had it done. It did screw my vocal chords, I might never be able to sing over a g sharp again but at least the pain is gone. I'm still at the hospital. Lying here with no one to visit me the only joy I have left is listening to music. I kinda do this 24/7 and it's hard not to sing along but that would screw my chords over even more. According to the doctor I'm not to speak for at least three days. By now I have listened to each of my playlist on my IPod at least five times, so I decide to listen to Luke's radio.  
Luke is an old friend of mine and he plays so many of my favourite songs. We met in kindergarten and we got very close. I think he once had a crush on Katie and sometimes I imagine them having a good live together in another universe.  
But Luke is not playing songs today. First I don't recognise the voice of the boy on the radio but then it seems kinda familiar. I know it right before he announces it, it's Jesse.  
“Hello there Barden, this is Jesse and we're gonna hear some of my very own mixes today. Enjoy.”

My brain freezes over for a moment until my heart starts kicking in. I know this mix, it's one of Beca's, I even made the last touch myself. This cannot be happening!  
But it is. I wonder how many people are listening to this without knowing. Does Beca know? Is she listening right now? How can this be happening?

1111111111111111111

By the time I am released out of hospital it's Sunday afternoon. I never turned the radio of, not once. When the playlist wasn't on shuffle Jesse was there, playing what he claimed to be his remixes. Some of them I have never heard before but they had Becas touch, her concept. They weren't his and nobody noticed. I hate myself for not bringing my mobile with me, I could have texted Luke, could have tried to stop this, but I couldn't.  
I make my way over to the radio station right from the hospital. Furious is an understatement right now. How dare he uses Beca like this? I'm stomping like a mad woman, I know that by the looks the passing people throw my way but I don't give a damn. Jesse will face my wrath.  
Kicking the door to the station open I see Jesse sitting in the booth, having a sickeningly satisfied look on his face. Oh, you just wait. I don't hesitate to enter the booth and by the time Jesse turns around I can see the fear written in his eyes. Yeah, fear me.  
I grab his collar and shout right in his face, not caring that I'll be heard over the whole campus via radio. “How dare you claim those mixes to be yours! Those are Beca's and we both know a little shitface like you could never do something as amazing as that!”

“Chloe, please. Just let me turn of the mic and I'll explain everything. Please!”

No, you won't be able to talk yourself out of this. I still have him by his collar and I just drag him out of the booth.

“Chloe, I don't wanna fight with you!”

“Damn right you don't want to fight with me. I'm taller and right now I feel like I could crush your bones. Tell me one good reason not to.”

“My future depended on this-”

“Not good enough.” With that I punch him right in his face. He wasn't suspecting the impact, making him fall into some CD shelves behind him. By the time he's back on his feet his attitude has changed, he looks angry and makes himself appear taller.

“Oh, this is rich of you. Protecting Beca after what you did. Do you really think she will thank you for this, forgive ou even? Don't be dumb Chloe. She'll never forgive you and you know the funny part? You could have avoided all this, you could have been a simple friend, maybe even a sister but no, you wanted to crush her, right?”

“I never, ever wanted to hurt her and you know that just as much as I do. You're making me sick. All you've ever wanted was for her to be interested in you, for her to fancy you, to kiss the ground you walked on. Newsflash, she didn't. She never saw you this way and after this you're just as screwed as I am. This is not about getting Beca back.”

“She should have loved me! Aca-boy and aca-girl. We were meant to be! Instead she choose her own sister over me. Look at you, what could she have possibly seen in you?”

“Stepsister! And I didn't know that when I fell for her and neither did she. If you'd loved her you would be happy for her, I know for sure I would have been happy for her if she was happy with you! I can see what she didn't see in you!”

“Come down from your throne. What do you know about love when all you did was lie?”

“But that's just the reason I lied.”

“For love?! Hilarious, you were a coward and now you wanna win her back with your hero behaviour!”

“You're right. I was a coward but I told you, I'm not doing this to get her back.”

“No? Why then? You could have just pretended like you never knew, something you're good at, right.”

“I do this because it's the right thing to do. This I am sure of.”

He swings his right fist at me and I manage to dodge just in time. However, his left hook hits me square in the eye. The adrenaline pumping through my veins keeps the pain away, making me charge right for him, again and again. There were lots of brawls I was involved with in High School. Life as a punk wasn't easy, everyone picked on you and I even had my fair share of catfights with Aubrey. It's not like we're always in complete agreement.  
I have practise and I soon notice that he doesn't. He uses too much energy with every punch and I win the upper hand pretty soon. By now everything is a blur.

1111111111111111111

I come to my senses again. I don't know how much time has passed but by the time I have complete control over my body and mind again my left hand is attached to Jesse's collar again and my right fist ready to punch him once more. I refrain myself from doing so. He clearly has enough. I notice the state of the room, some shelves thrown over, other broken where I shoved Jesse into them. The desk is also broken and by the nagging pain in my back when I look at it, I know that somehow I must have crashed onto it. Jesse is on the verge of passing out, so I decide to leave. Someone must have heard the commotion by now and I don't want to get punished because of that scumbag.  
Walking down the street I try not to stand out too much. I realise that my clothes are thorn at some places and I have some cuts and bruises but nothing some rest can't fix. Eyes glued to the floor I make my decision, I'm not going to quit Bellas. I will train hard and give it my best, just so those damn Trebles won't win ICCAs again this year. They won't know what hit-

“Chlo...” This can't be! My head snaps p to look at Beca as fast as humanly possible, maybe even faster. Of all the people I could have run into right now it has to be her. My body reacts instantly, my pupils dilating, my heart rate increasing. She shouldn't see me, not like this. I pry my eyes away from her, concentrating on looking to the ground.   
“Chlo?”   
Please, this is torture. I can't talk to you right now, I can't even look at you. There is so much that needs to be explained but I just can't. I'm sorry. “I'm so sorry.” So fucking sorry I can't stand myself. I just have to run off.

RRRRRRRRR

End Chapter 21


	22. Cure

Chapter 22: Cure

Beca's PoV:

How did I get into this mess again? Right, daddy dearest. So, first Chloe breaks my trust, now Jesse and my so called friends don't answer my calls. My original plan for today was going over to Jesse's and at least verbally abuse him. I don't punch people already injured, his luck. But then again, I just can't go over there right now, I don't know if I could even stand to look in his eyes.   
New plan: Find out why the not redheaded Bellas ignore me. Starting with my so called best friend Denise. I mean, seriously, we're close and still...maybe just another one to add to the “betrayed me-list” but then again, benefit of the doubt and the thing about innocent until proven otherwise.  
Only one thing left to do, going over there and asking right away.

1111111111111111111

Okay, so I knocked, twice and still no one's opening. Maybe she's out but where could she be on a monday morning? Wait. It's still Spring Break! Maybe she's away, but she didn't mention anything about a vacation or going home. Then again, the last time we spoke was over a month ago and Aubrey had forbidden to go on a vacation because of Bella training. Well, it's not like they're still in the competition. I need a new plan and I can't think while standing up so I just put my arse down on the steps to Denise's dorm. About ten minutes have passed and I still can't decide if I just try Amy or CR first. Amy would be closer but then again, CR could be the better conversation partner for this topic. I hear a car door shutting and look up. It's a taxi. Well, seems I'm not the only one using a taxi to get to U. My mind focuses back on the important part, the girls leaving the taxi. It's Denise, so she's back. I can't keep the smirk off my face as I see CR making her way to the trunk and getting their suitcases. Well, seems like those two were on a nice vacation together. Maybe at least one of us can be happy and Denise deserves it. Denise is smiling at CR in a way that makes me jealous, not that I'm interested in either of them but I know what it feels like to receive such a look.  
I'm thinking of leaving quietly, CR is still occupied with maneuvering two suitcases at once but before I can even move Denise is standing right in front of me, purse in one hand and the other occupied with dangling the keys. Her eyes are wide open and I think I can read shock in them but it quickly fades and her face is lit up by a huge smile.

“Ohmygod! Beca!” With that both purse and keys fall to the ground and she has me locked in a bone-crushing hug. “I missed you so, so, much! When you didn't answer my calls...and how could you not even open the door for me?!” She gets a bit angry but calms right away as CR puts a hand on her shoulder. Damn, I didn't even notice her approaching us.

“Hey B. Sorry, she didn't mean it like that. It's good you've come around to visit. Why don't we just put this heavy stuff” she motions the the suitcases “inside and go grab some breakfast. We're actually starving and that makes Denise very moody.”

Denise hits her playfully but turns to give me an inviting and hopeful(?) smile. “Well, what do you say?”

“Yeah, sure. Let me help you CR.”

“Okay, but don't overestimate yourself, short stuff.”

“I'm going to kill Aubrey! She promised not to tell!”

1111111111111111111

We went to the café closest to the dorm, CR wasn't kidding when she said that they were starving.  
“So, what did we miss?” Denise asks as she finally swallowed her bagel.

“Well, where should I begin? Good things first, visited my mum last week and had a great time. And that's about everything good that happened to me.”

“And the bad things?” CR is asking this time, very carefully.

I contemplate where to start for a moment. “Jesse betrayed me.”

“Wait!” CR shouts surprised. “You two are an item now? Or were, or whatever?”

“God no. He pretended to be my friend, a good friend and - you want the short or the long version?”

“The longest.” Denise answered for them both.

1111111111111111111

So I told them everything. From him listening to my mixes to using them and declaring them as his own after getting me to visit my mum.  
“And when I come home I run into an beat up Chloe, who doesn't explain anything to me. Luke did. And here we are.”

“God Beca, I'm so sorry. If we were home we would have punched him too, you know.”  
Denise sounds sincerely as she puts a hand on top of my own.

“Well, I think a romantic vacation sounds more exciting.” I smile at them holding hands on top of our table.

“Romantic vacation?” CR asks surprised. “I wouldn't call an Bella boot camp romantic, especially not when Aubrey is your leader and has strict rules.”  
Denise hits CR's arm playfully again and cuts in. “Give her some slack! Besides the normal Bellas practise, some cardio and the “no-phones, no contact to non Bellas” rules we had a lot of free will. And I actually think the rules were paying out, especially for us.” She kisses CR's cheek softly.  
“Only down to the no phone rule was that I missed your calls, sorry Beca.”

“Nah, it's all right I guess. But why the hell are you still practising?”  
Now I'm confused. I thought Aubrey would be the type to just cancel everything and cry, or...you know...puke.

“What do you mean? We wanna win finals, of course.”  
CR looks confused.

“You're still in? But Jesse told me...bastard! Another lie!”

“Then he probably knew we would be away for the first week of Spring Break.”

1111111111111111111

It took us some time to calm down but when CR ordered us three hot chocolates with cream we finally did calm. Jesse had planned everything through. Luke would be too occupied with his studies to take care of the station and the Bellas were too far away to do anything. That leaves one question though.  
“Why wasn't Chloe with you guys?”

Denise puts her mug back down. “Well, she had a vacation planned out with her mum before all this. Aubrey wasn't happy, none of us were. We thought it would be good for her, she hasn't been the same, you know.” Her voice almost fades at the end, but I still understand her.

None of us says something's for what feels like forever. Last week I would have jumped at this, getting angry and moody and all. Not now though. Not after seeing her yesterday. Then I see CR looking concentrated, seemingly enthralled by her cup. Denise seems to notice too, raising a questioning eyebrow. After a long moment her eyes open wide in shock. “What do you know that I don't?! 

CR starts to stutter and tries not to look in our eyes. “N-Nothing.”

“Truth, now!” Denise and I shout at the same time. Seriously, It's only a matter of time until someone kicks us out of here.

“I promised not to tell.” CR states firmly.

“Huh? I. Am. Your. Girlfriend.”  
CR seems to contemplate.

“Please.” It's the softest tone I've ever heard coming out of my mouth but I don't care. I need the bigger picture here.

“Damn, just don't tell anyone. Chloe, she...uh. She stayed to have her nodes removed.”

“She did what?!” Denise and I look shocked. My life seems to be full of surprises lately.

1111111111111111111

We did get kicked out after that. I left the two of them to unpack their things and...Denise was upset after hearing that CR kept this from her even though she understands why. If I should make a guess, my bet would be on angry sex right now. Not something I want to imagine, let alone see.   
Besides, I have to think. This is a lot of new information, nearly too much.  
At least my mood improved. The Bellas didn't ignore me, well, not on purpose. That I see as I check my mobile. Three missed calls, one from Stacie, one from Amy and the last from Ashley. Then I checked the messages. Holy shit, too many.

Hey babes. Sry missed ur calls.   
Call me if you need me -xoxo Stacie

Back from the dead, I see. Thought a crocodile got ya.  
Swing by any time, gurl. -x Amy

Hey! Jessica and I tried to call. Just let us know you're okay.  
Come over some time! - hugs Jessica & Ashley

Yay, U R alive! Thought I had to bury another dead body.  
-Lily

Beca. Saw your calls. Let me know if there is something   
I can help you with. -Bree

Damn, even Aubrey. I quickly answer each of them, telling them that I'm okay and that I'll talk to them soon. I just hit send when there is a knock on my door. The door is not even half opened by the time Amy lifts me in the air.  
“Damn girl, I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Fat Amy.”

“Oh god, you missed so much, gotta tell you everything gurl.”

And she starts right away, telling me about every detail that happened on the vacation. I start to zone out after a while.

“...and then I got impatient and just entered Aubrey and Stacie hotel room and baam. You wouldn't believe it girl. I wouldn't if I hadn't seen it myself. They were fucking in the damn shower!” 

They were what? “You're kidding, right? Sure this wasn't just some hallucination you had there? Stick-up-her-ass-Aubrey, we're talking here...”

“Not joking, maybe it wasn't a stick she had in there.”

“Dude, too many visuals you're giving me here. Not the good kind.”

“Still, I'm not kidding. They're having a fling and Stacie said for a while now. Bree even popped her cherry.”

“Probably the last sex-related cherry she had...”

“Anyway, here I am, blabbering on for two hours about my life when you, gurl, should be telling me about yours!”

And for the second time that day I tell the whole story. After calming Amy down enough, so she won't kill Jesse with the shotgun she has in her dorm -don't ask, I stopped asking Amy such things- she decided to make the best out of this day, meaning lots of alcohol and partying. 

1111111111111111111

She drags me to some unknown flat just outside campus and this area is one I wouldn't set a foot into alone but Amy obviously doesn't care. My oh my. The space is so crowded, you literally can't move without touching other people, not something I like that much. However, as I spot Luke deejaying my mood gets slightly better. Then Fat Amy pushes a red cup with, by the smell of it, something strong into my hands. I didn't even notice her leaving and getting something to drink and that means something as we are currently crushed together in this...is it a living room? Seems like it once was. We down the content of the cups in one go and my whole body cringes. It should at least taste good but tonight I won't give a damn.  
Lets party!

It doesn't take me that long to get fundamentally smashed. At one point it's me deejaying, I don't know how but it's a good thing I always have a stick with my mixes with me. The crowd is cheering wildly, the once brownish floor appears red with all the cups lying there. Fat Amy started snogging some boys a while ago and they're probably still occupying the couch in one of the corners but I'm not alone. Luke is still here, announcing me as Becky to everyone who listens or asks for me. I don't really care. At this point Becky seems as good as any nickname. Plus, he's constantly bringing me new booze and keeps an eye on my drinks, so no one can put something in them.

I don't even realise the police sirens coming nearer but Luke does. He grabs my external device and my hand and drags me to the bathroom. We're just inside as everyone starts to panic. He locks the door and opens the window. My brain isn't even catching up but he seems to know exactly what he's doing. He climbs out of the window and then I realise we're on the third floor. I want to shout at him but then he's gone. Before I can even make a move his head reappears and his hand motions for me to hurry over. He's standing on top of the next building, it's not far down but I'm too drunk to climb down. His brain catches up to that fact and he just grins at me, grabs my waist and lifts me up. He puts me down next to him, but keeps a steady arm around my waist to make sure I don't fall down the roof. We hurry over two more roofs and stop in front of a taller building.   
“Dead end, mate.” Wow, my mouth is still working.

“Not really.” He motions to an open window and we climb trough.

“So, now we're breaking and entering. Please tell me you know the person who lives here...”

“I do, pretty well actually.”

“Care to elaborate?” He hangs his jacket over a chair and slips out of his converse.

“Me, silly.” He motions to a door an our left. “Bathroom is through here.” Then he motions to the right. “Bedroom over there. You can pick anything you like from the drawer to sleep in, if you need something.” He winks at me. “Not a good idea to go out there with the police patrolling through. You can sleep in my bed, I'll just take the couch, unless...” Another wink.

“Sorry mate, not interested in boys.”

He laughs, “Well, another thing we have in common. Sleep tight, and please, don't puke in my bed.”

I laugh at him. “I'll do my best.”

11111111111111111

Lying down I let my thoughts drift for a moment. This day hasn't gone the least bit how I expected but is that a bad thing? I managed a whole evening without even thinking of Chloe. Maybe I found a cure for my addiction.

RRRRRRRRRRR


	23. A best Friends gotta do what she's gotta do

Aubrey's PoV:

I like schedules, tight ones at that. I like having my whole month planned out, to the last detail. I have routines that I stick to very tightly, like my morning routine. The first thing I do each and every morning is turning off my alarm clock exactly one minute before it rings after being awake for 10 minutes. Every morning, like clockwork. After that I make my way to the kitchen and start the coffee machine and while that runs I skip over to the bathroom, using the toilet, brushing my teeth and hopping into the shower for exactly 5 minutes. Then I towel myself up, put on fresh underwear and wrap that fluffy bathrobe Chloe gave me to my last birthday around me. Feeling fresh and braced for the day I walk back into the kitchen and fill two mugs with coffee, adding milk to one for Chloe and leaving mine black, just how I like it.  
People tasting my coffee for the first time always complain how strong it is, but for me it's perfect. Energy, liquid energy, ready to be sipped.  
Then I make my way to Chloe's room, the two mugs in my hands and wake her up. She's not a morning person and sometimes I think she wouldn't leave bed if it wasn't for me. After successfully waking her we drink our coffee in her bed, not really talking much, just enjoying the company.  
While Chloe gets herself ready for the day I change into the clothes I put out the evening before.  
By the time she's finished I'm already at my second mug of coffee, reading over my tasks for today and the lecture notes I made. After that we head out to campus to get some breakfast before we have to separate.  
You see, I really appreciated having clear structures and I hate things that destroy these. One of those things is Beca Mitchell. First she attempts to destroy the Bellas practises structures, then she destroys our set at semi finals and when I finally accept that it was a necessary change she quits Bellas, but that's just the start.  
She destroyed Chloe, my best friend and my rock. I'm not dumb, I know that they both made mistakes but the fact still stands. Chloe is broken. I haven't seen her like this since...well I've never seen her like this. Sheila says it's because she always wanted to be the strong one, even after the accident that led to the death of her father and twin. Especially her twin. She wanted to live for both, be happy enough for two lifetimes. Now she's miserable enough for two.  
Beca broke her and my morning routine? Gone.  
The first week after their breakup I woke up three times in the night, hearing Chloe sob in the room next door. It's not like she was very loud, but I'm a light sleeper and my heart broke at hearing her, each and every time. So every time I woke hearing her I stood up and made my way over to her, crawling into bed with her, holding her until she would fall back asleep and after another 10 minutes, just to be sure, I would find my way back into my bed, at least until I heard her again. That week I needed four mugs of coffee in the morning instead of two.   
Some night in the second week Chloe came into my room and slipped into my bed, I was awake by the time she left her room but I remained facing away from the door until she was settled in, only then turning and taking her into my arms. It's been like this ever since, she hasn't slept in her own bed again. I have a tiny bed but it's not uncomfortable, not at all, plus, I don't have to get up three times a night anymore.  
The night before I left for the Bella boot camp was the first night she slept through and I felt awful for leaving her but I didn't know that she lied to me about the vacation with her mom. I thought she would be save with Sheila and I really needed a vacation.  
The bonding time with the Bellas was much needed and sharing a room with Stacie was incredible. I haven't felt this alive in forever and it gave me the energy I need now that I'm back.  
Chloe's nodes are gone, her voice suffered and she got in a fight with none other than Jesse. They fought about Beca's mixes. I must admit, they're pretty good. I must know, they're constantly playing on Chloe's laptop these days. When I came home Chloe's eyes held this fire again and I'm so very glad that she seems to be coming back out of this hole she fell in. She still cries sometimes, mostly when she's cooking or in the shower. I haven't heard Titanium in a while and I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of miss it. I know what that song means. I'm not dumb, nor deaf.  
Lately it's all about Just the way you are. I like that song, I really do but hearing it playing non stop at home? Not so much. I'm glad if she sings it herself, I prefer her voice over Bruno Mars'.

Chloe is determined to make us win finals and she wants it to be with a mix inspired by Beca. She's been practising remixing ever since Beca showed her and I found it to be quite annoying all this time. She's getting better at it each day but she's no way near as good as Beca herself.   
And that leads me to my newest task. I'm going to bring Beca back. The girls all miss her and the mood has been tense since she left. I'm not her biggest fan and I don't think I'll ever be but I gotta do something about this situation. I'm the leader of the Bellas and I care deeply for them, even more since we got to know each other so well during our vacation.

Today is gonna be the first day of Bellas practise since we've returned and I made my decision. While Chloe is still occupied with her latest mix I make my way over to Beca's dorm. One thing is certain, I am a Posen, and we fight for the things we want and for the things we love.

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I've knocked twice already and no one's opening that damn door. Right now I feel like just kicking it in but thankfully exact that moment Beca walks around the corner, looking surprised to find me in front of her door.

“Aubrey?”

“Hello Beca, and here I was thinking that you didn't want to open your door for me.” I wouldn't blame her.

She fumbles for her keys for a moment before finally finding them and opening the door.  
“Sorry, I thought Kimmy Jin might be in.” She obviously doesn't know her shedule.

“No, she should be at calculus, like Chloe is. You're not very observant.”  
That came out too harsh.

“Geez, not even a minute in my room and already starting a fight with me. Next thing you'll be complaining about the mess that's my half of the room.”

“I don't think so. You should see mine. I don't recognise it anymore since your breakup with Chloe.”  
Shit, that came out wrong again.

“Aubrey, you see, if you're only here to insult me you can just leave.”

“I'm sorry. I'm not good at this. I had this whole conversation planned out in my head but I can't seem to make it work.” True, so very true.

“Then just come to the point of your visit.”

Very well, all or nothing. “I want you back in Bellas. I'll do whatever it takes.”

She looks stunned for a moment, her chin nearly dropping to the floor. “You're kidding. Everything it takes?” I just simply nod at that. “Even using one of my mixes?” 

She seems more willing than I thought. “That's the plan.”

This seems to shock her even more. “I-I don't know what to say. Have you talked to the others about this? Have you talked to her about this?!”

I shake my head no. “I don't have to. They all miss you and we're not complete without you. We need you.”

We stay silent for a long moment and I start fidgeting with the object in my pocket. We're standing a good few feet apart from each other, waiting for one of us to make a move. I know that the ball is already in her court but she doesn't seem to be willing to do anything about it. By the state of her room and herself I think she's broken as well. She needs her friends but she has a just as huge problem with stubbornness as I do. The Bellas need her and she needs us just as much. I'm their captain, I have a responsibility, and I'm determined to save this group.  
I take my lower lip between my teeth, like I always do when I'm nervous, a habit I adopted from Chloe, and fidget with the object in my pocket one more time before I make my way over to Beca. Stopping right in front of her I take the Bellas pipe out of my pocket and offer it to her. Her eyes fall from mine to the extended object, watching it closely as if it's going to disappear any second. After realising a long moment later that it's still there she looks up to me, questioningly seeking out my eyes. I give a subtle nod and release the lip I'd nearly crushed between my teeth.

“Are you being serious?”  
She carefully takes the pipe out of my hand and it takes all of my willpower not to cling to it. I wanted that thing for years and I would never imagine that I would willingly hand it over.

“A captain knows what's best for the team. I know it took me a while.”  
She musters the pipe for a second, tracing the B logo carefully with her thumb.  
“Now it's up to you to do the rest. The last thing I did was schedule a practise for this evening.”

With that I turn around and make my way to the door. I'm nearly out when Beca calls out for me.  
“Bree, bring the girls to the empty pool, will you.”

“Of course, captain.”

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The Bellas all arrived early to practise, a thing I never thought I would see happening. I'm the last to enter the room, closing the doors behind me. The girls are having a debate, Chloe has obviously told them about her plan for the performance. They seem to be torn about her idea and Denise is even stating that she won't go along with it, seeing it as a betrayal to Beca.  
They're silent the moment I step to the front of the room, looking at me as one.

“Do you agree with her plan?!” It's Denise again, she seems furious. I glance over to Chloe, I see her determination and I know I'm going to break a part of her with what I'm about to say but she'll understand.

“No.” Chloe looks shaken and she's about to attack me, of that I'm sure. The others seem relieved. After all this changes they wanted they're against it now.  
Before Chloe can say anything I interfere.  
“Grab you jackets girls, you too Chloe. I need to show you something.”

They all comply, except Chloe. I try to approach her but she turns away from me, crossing her arms over her chest. Cynthia Rose seems to catch on to that and helps Chloe into her jacket, motioning for me to go ahead.

While we make our way to the pool I let myself fall back to the end of the group. No one is talking and it kinda scares me. CR walks up to me, whispering in my ear “I hope you know what you're doing.”

As we arrive at our destination all the girls stop in unison at the sight before them. Beca is standing in the middle of the empty pool, the pipe in her hand and smiling cautiously up at us.  
Chloe is the first to look away and her eyes find mine in an instant. I admit I was watching her, fearing that I made a mistake but after a minute the shock seems to wear off and while the others make their way down the pool to Beca she walks over to me.  
“You did that?”

“Someone had to. Don't be mad. You were right from the start, we're better with her.”

She hugs me tightly, whispering in my ear “I told you so.” As she lets go of me she talks in a normal volume. “I can't believe you let go of your power.”

“Well, the things I'd do for you. But please, don't mess this up.”  
We too make our way over to Beca who greets each of us with a short nod. A step in the right direction.

“Well, lets remix this business!” At that the Bellas are cheering, arranging themselves so eveyone faces her, then Beca turns to me. “Aubrey, would you pick a song for us please?”

I don't have to think at that, I let my eyes swipe over Chloe's face for a second. “Bruno Mars, Just the Way you are.”

Beca looks a bit surprised at that but she agrees none the less. She looks over to Chloe. “Chloe, are you okay to take the lead?”  
A peace offering. I look over at Chloe expectingly and I'm relieved to see her nod.  
They share a smile and I have a feeling that I will have a room of my own again. And with that my routine should come back.

RRRRRRRRRRRR  
End Chapter 23


	24. Back on the Horse

Beca's PoV:

What a hell of a start into a new year! First all this mess with Chloe and then Jesse and now? Now I try to get as much sleep as I can between Bellas practises, working at the station and actually studying. We nearly constantly practise, seeing as we had to learn a new routine and new songs. We picked the mix I made after watching Breakfastclub with Chloe and Jesse. I didn't have a copy of it after I gave it to Chloe to work further on it, meaning that Jesse wasn't able to taint it by playing it in his name.  
We decided on that as a group after we made a quick mix at the pool. Imagine us, standing there, laughing at each other, being happy and deciding to give this one-two-aaaahhh- thingy another try and for once we finally match pitch, except for Chloe, whose voice is like “yeah bitch, lets be bass tonight”. I must admit I was a bit shocked, I love Chloe's voice so much (the voice, only the voice) and I never got tired of listening to it and then boom! I never imagined this outcome.  
The thing that brought me back was Lily's voice, which was clear as day and so loud that everyone was surprised, Fat Amy summing it up perfectly with her comment about her shouting at us. Lily said she had the perfect idea for our performance and we all agreed to meet at the Chaubrey apartment how Amy named it. I just had to grab my laptop from my dorm and Lily wanted to get something as well.  
By the time I arrived at their flat Aubrey had the Bellas assembled in the living room and Lily was working on connecting a microphone to boxes. We had looked through all my mixes, discussing pro and cons that came and went wich each song and after over an hour we still weren't close to making a decision and that's when, for the first time all evening, Chloe spoke up. She had at some point left the living-room to get her laptop and when the mix playing on my laptop ended we all heard another mix starting. Chloe was playing my Breakfast Club mix. To be honest I had nearly forgotten about it even existing, not to mention that this wasn't the original mix I made. Chloe had obviously worked on its details, like I had told her to all those weeks ago. She is really good with details, as I already found out, and the finishing touches she gave this mix? Just wow. She had added some other songs into the mix I hadn't considered before, like Just the way you are, fitting, seeing as we sung it some hours ago. The girls all loved it and I was happy we didn't have to choose something Jesse had claimed his own.

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Jesse, well...that's a thing I don't like to talk about. I went over to his room a couple of days before but the coward either didn't want to open the damn door or was out. Dick, either way.  
There are exams coming up and between the Bellas and studying I don't even try to find time to go over to his. I just don't have the nerves for it. Chloe and I haven't talked about what happened either. I think we are both too afraid of the outcome. At least we talk to each other, I admit only when necessary but we don't ignore each other completely. Maybe there is a chance of us being friends at least but right now we are too stressed to focus on our problems.  
The person I'm most surprised about is Aubrey. Since giving up her leader position she's not the same anymore. She's always either fooling around with Stacie (everywhere, really) or she's making jokes with Fat Amy. I think her day has at least 48 hours as she still finds time to help me schedule practises, studies for herself and helps me study.  
Don't ask me how that started. It just happened one day while planning for the Bellas and one thing let to another. She's always been good at drilling people and she's hammering philosophy into my brain like it's nothing. Since that day, we meet every two days and she helps me study, mostly at her flat. You should have seen Chloe's face when she saw us for the first time! Priceless.  
But I don't see much of Chloe, if she's at home she's mostly asleep. Aubrey said she's actually studying calculus with Kimmy Jin, seeing as their exam will be deathly, most definitely.

“So, you think that you two can have another chance sometime?” We're currently having yet another study session, called up last minute because Stacie had to ditch Aubrey in favour of her aunt visiting. I don't mind, I need the boost and it has become something regular. Yet another thing that I had never seen coming, me being friends with the one Aubrey Posen.

“I don't know Aubrey. We're pretty messed up already and I have literally no time to think about that right now.” We're both silent for a good moment until I decide to add something I haven't admitted to myself yet. “I miss her though, very much.”

“She misses you too.” Aubrey gives me a smile, seeing my sadness. “I don't think I should be telling you this, seeing as she's my best friend and all...but you need it. She hasn't been the same.” At that she ends her speech and it takes me a while before I know how to answer to that.

“That's it? You start the sentence like I don't think I should be telling you this, seeing as she's my best friend and all and give me literally nothing!” I start to laugh at that and she joins in pretty soon.

“Okay, then ask me something and I answer it if I can.” She seems serious and it takes me back for a moment.

“Will she get over me?” It's the question that's occupying my mind the most, the question I fear the most.

I seem to have catched her off guard there. She just stares at me, mouth agape, for quite some time. Then she takes a sip of her wine, buying some time to think. “That's an awfully evil question to ask her best friend.” She takes another sip. Out of nowhere she starts to giggle and I don't know what's so funny right now. “You know, I haven't heard Titanium in a while...” She eyes me, trying to judge if I know the meaning behind that statement and I can't help but answer with laughter myself.

“Of all the things you could have said, you chose that?” I try to get out between giggles and clutching my, by now hurting stomach.

“Unfair question, best answer I could have given! Look at us!” She counters and we start to laugh all over again.

After we've cooled down again and have both fully functioning lungs again I have to add something that's been on my mind for some time. “How come we haven't been like this with each other from the start? We make great friends.”

“Well, Miss Mitchell. That is an easy question. We're too much alike, both stubborn as fuck and I had a sense that you would mean trouble for Chloe. And I know your dad, whose been better to me than my own father has been. Wasn't so easy to overlook that. But...you're right. We actually, on some weird level, fit.”

Stacie chooses that exact moment to enter the flat (she has a key already? Moving fast Posen) and doesn't hesitate to jump on Aubrey's lap and kiss her. Seems like my cue to leave.

“So, what have you two been talking about?” Stacie asks after freeing her lips from Aubrey. (I've had enough time to pack my things during their short kiss.)

I make my way to the door, turning around, smirk present on my lips I simply say “Oh, just about how well we fit together, you know. I bet somewhere out there is a universe where we are a couple and where Amy has given us a ship name.” With that I leave the two lovebirds to themselves.

11111111111111111

Imagine my surprise as I walk to my dorm and find Jesse waiting in front of it. Great, just as I had forgot about my problems for once. “Beca, uh, uhm...can we, like, talk?”

“Shoot, you have five minutes.” 

“I'm sorry. I really am.” He's silent for some time, clearly waiting for me to accept.

“Four minutes.” He should know it's not that easy.

“I- I told you about my internship a while ago. They cancelled last minute and...You see, I really needed this. I. I can't explain this very well. I got a letter some while ago from a studio that I had applied to. They said they wanted me to introduce myself to them but after the internship got cancelled I had nothing to impress them with anymore and I really, really needed to leave an impression. Beca, I had to do this, for my future.”

“That's it? You had to do it for your future? YOUR damn future? Well Jesse, how about mine? You could have ruined mine in the process, maybe you even have to some degree. If Chloe hadn't stopped you, then what? I wanna produce music, my own. I make mixes on my own. I'm not responsible to what happens to your future. In fact, I never wanna see you in my future ever again. You broke my trust and funnily you did that after telling me how bad it was of Chloe to do so. You know, thinking back on it it's hilarious. You're a joke, a bad joke. Don't talk to me, like, ever again.”

Who does he think he is?

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I actually start to feel indifferent about this whole situation. I can't change the past nor can I see the future. You learn from mistakes and I only have to see Jesse at competitions. If I move to LA I only have to endure him one more time. If, a big if seeing how I haven't talked to my dad since, well, you know.  
After fumbling for the keys in my pocket I open the door to my room, feeling tired, exhausted. Upon entering I realise that my day is far from over. Chloe is sitting at Kimmy Jins desk, her head resting on her crossed arms. I put my bag down next to my desk and remove my shoes. Kimmy Jin is nowhere to be seen and Chloe hasn't moved so I tiptoe over to her, realising that she's asleep.  
I don't know how long I stand next to her, mesmerised by her beauty, my thoughts going miles a minute. How can you love someone so deeply and still feel like you can't be near her without hurting. I don't know how long I stood there but that's how Kimmy Jin finds me.

“Alt girl is back. We didn't know when you would be back so we decided to study here. You two are something...Shall I wake her?”

“No. Uh, can you help me move her to my bed?”

“I don't want to have something to do with this stuff.”

“Not for that reason.” I sigh. “We just move her over there and I'll bunk with Amy tonight.”

Kimmy Jin finally agrees and the two of us manage to move her just fine. She has lost weight, of that I'm sure. While I pack an overnight bag Kimmy Jin heads to the bathrooms to get ready for the night. I can't help myself staring at Chloe once again. She seems comfortable now that she's lying in my bed. I can't say I imagined her lying there again, at least not so soon. After a quick glance over to the door, making sure Kimmy Jin is not about to enter and find me in this position again, I lean down and leave a light kiss on Chloe's cheek. I was never so thankful that she's such a heavy sleeper.  
With one last look back I close the door behind me, making my way over to Amy's in hope that I can stay the night. I could have easily woken Chloe up or even have Kimmy Jin do that, but she looked peaceful, so peaceful. I don't think anyone of us has looked this relaxed lately.  
I'm definitely loosing badass points if I even still have any left to lose.

I still don't know what the future holds for us but I know that the Bellas will somehow make it, I can feel it.

RRRRRRRRR  
End chapter 24. Review? * puppy eyes *


	25. Decisions

Chapter 25: Decisions

Beca's PoV:

Okay, I never thought Lincoln Center was that big! I just had one hell of a day. It all started pretty early for me, having an exam at 8 in the morning but (mostly thanks to Aubrey) I should have kicked it. I actually want to have aced it. Who would have known that I would at some point start to like going to college? Okay, minus my dad.  
But that's not the only thing I never imagined wanting. Standing there, just behind the stage all I could think of was beating the Trebles and finally reward the girls with the trophy we all deserve for working off our asses with this performance. To see this bunch of different girls working as a family with everyone bringing in their own quirks, that's something that I'll remember forever, believe me.

Jesse thankfully ignored me before he and his crowd went out to perform. Did they have to schedule us right after each other? Then again, I guess it's cause we're from the same college...  
Benji looked nervous as hell, probably this was his first time singing in front of such a huge crowd but it wasn't like we had practise with that either, well, most of us anyway. Though, looking around and seeing all of my girls, I feel so proud. We are nervous but you can practically feel our devotion, see it in our eyes and just feel it in the air surrounding us. While I was distracted I didn't see Jesse approaching Chloe. But Amy told me he'd said some nasty things to her, probably to make her nervous. It didn't work, too bad for him. I couldn't wait for his reaction when he would hear us beat them with his favourite song. I will definitely make sure not to miss that face.

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It's done. Over. We made it to Lincoln Center, made it this far and now we hope (I hope) we made dreams become reality. Let's just sum our performance up: We kicked some ass. It was incredible, we were all feeling the buzz and we were more in sync then ever before. Jesse's face nearly fell off at hearing 'don't you forget about me' and it really gave me an extra kick to see his dumbfound reaction. Way to set him off. When we finished we couldn't contain the laughter and I found myself wanting nothing more than to hug Chloe as tight to me as possible, but I couldn't. Our “relationship” has improved over the countless practises, but we were still not really back to being friends so I hugged Aubrey as tightly to me as I wanted to with her best friend. Aubrey didn't mind, releasing her hold on Stacie for a moment and hugging me back just as fierce. I think she knew and I'm not sure but I think Chloe knew too. I went on to hug each and every one, just content with what we achieved so far.  
That's when we both noticed my dad cheering for us in the crowd. Aubrey practically dragged me down the stairs to the audience and to my father but I made sure to send a wicked grin to Jesse as we passed his row. Since we were the last group to perform we went for the outer hall right away and Aubrey grabbed Richards arm to make sure we wouldn't lose him in the masses storming out for the break before the winners were announced.  
Once out, dad encircled both Bree and me in a tight bear hug and even I found myself returning it with all this happiness inside me.

“Beca, I am so proud of you. That was awesome, you girls have to win. Congratulations to you too Aubrey.” He hugged her another time, just for good measure. “I'm sure your father missed something tonight, he'd be proud as well.” Ok, right now I kinda love my dad just for being him. Aubrey told me they are close but to me he just proved it for the first time.

“We both know he wouldn't attend something like this. He barely tolerated me doing this anyway.” Aubrey seemed a bit down for a moment but then her face lit up again.

Dad's expression suddenly changes and I know that look. He seems torn so I follow his line of sight and sure enough I find Chloe, standing a few feet away from us, hesitating coming over. Her eyes find mine and I give her a brief smile and a nod before turning to my father.

“I need to make a round, can't let the other Bellas out of my sight before someone does something stupid...” with that I hastily retreat towards Amy. It's all still a bit much for me with dad being, well, my dad again.

I pass Chloe in the process and I'm almost out of her reach when she tugs on my sleeve. She doesn't hold on to me and it wasn't a demanding grab or something like that but I find my body stopping at once, unconsciously. She still does that to me. My walls are back up and still there seems to be a Chloe-shaped hole she manages to sneak through every time.

“I...er...” She takes a visible breath. “Thanks, for coming back and for, you know, getting us this far.” And god, all I want to say to her is that I wanted to make all her dreams become reality but this situation is so fucked up right now.

I nod, not knowing what to say. She's already turned her back on me when I find an answer.  
“Chloe!” She turns around, still hesitant. “Thanks for believing in me and getting me to join.”

She returns my smile with one of hers before we both continue on our way. I may not have entirely forgiven her for what she did, but I know that someday I will be able to. Because she is Chloe, and because I am Beca. Our lives are connected.

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(huge step in time)

A new year of college has started and even though my father said he'd help me move my lazy ass to LA, I told him to wait a bit longer. I don't think I've ever seen him happier than in that exact moment. We've spent some time together, even having dinner with my mum and I must say that I now see that they're better off as friends. Mum was proud that I choose to stay at Barden and they both laughed about my new obsession with a capella, that they claim I'm talking about all the time.  
Can you blame me? After all, we're the most talked about winners in a long time of a capella history.

Our feud with the Trebles should be in the past, seeing as Jesse transferred to god knows where and Bumper left way before finals, making Benji they're new captain. I'm happy for him. And we actually get along quite well, even scheduling practises and mini-offs against our groups.

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And the Bellas? Well, CR and Denise are being the annoyingly cute couple that always finishes each others sentences. They're driving us nuts but we love hem for it. I meet up with them every Sunday morning to have coffee and breakfast in that café we were thrown out of and we talk about all the crazy things that seem to happen to us.  
Fat Amy and Lily always walk around with a camera nowadays, seeing as they are uprising Youtube stars with their comedy show 'Fat Creeps'. Just don't ask, you don't want to know. I just hope they don't ruin our image. (Like we care ;) )  
Jessica turned out to be quite the songwriter so we're all hoping we get to perform some own songs soon, maybe at the first of many paid performances this year. Since Luke is staying for another two years in which he will have to study harder than ever he asked me to DJ more frequently, meaning I definitely need some hands with me in the station and Ashley was happy to tag along. We've never been that close but spending this much time together is great. She also seems to like stacking CDs and is faster than Jesse and I were together. Something about a photographic brain that helps her memorise everything. Not the best one to explain, me.  
Stacie couldn't be happier right now, seeing as Aubrey decided to stay and become a Professor for Philosophy and Literature, (against the wishes of her father) making my dad even more proud of her. I swear he's thinking of adopting her. They're not really together, as in officially but Stacie moved into Chloe's former room, changing the Chaubrey apartment into a Staubrey apartment. Fat Amy's words, not mine. However, they seem content the way things are right now and I'm glad I didn't have to find a replacement for Aubrey to join the Bellas, at least not for another year.

That leaves Chloe. She's moved to LA (oh the irony) to pursue her newest dream. She got accepted into an art school and she's hoping on one day creating artistic interior for the whole world. Remember her Lego table? I bet that's part of what got her in. I would definitely let her choose the interior for my flat from the pictures she loaded up to our Bellas Cloud. Another idea of Fat Amy. Helps stay in contact, I can assure you.  
I don't know if that is what she's going to do for the rest of her life, but that's Chloe. With her you'll never know. I would trust her to choose being a teacher or a hockey player next, or an astronaut, or something far crazier than I can imagine her doing right now.  
Her moving also made her almost unreachable for us and she doesn't visit as often as Sheila and dad would like to. There are the occasional cards she does send, but not frequently. That also leads to me having to attend “family dinners” every now and then without backup, since Bree can't make it all the time. The only times I can be sure of seeing her are holidays and birthdays, but with everyone being happy to see her we never get to talk much. We're not back to actually being friends yet, but she's Chloe and I am Beca and like I said, that has to mean something.

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The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, please don't hurt me. I know this is not the ending most of you hoped for but I knew how I wanted it to end from the start, or at least very soonish. There will be an epilogue, hopefully sooner than later that will wrap this story up completely and I think the last PoV should belong to Chloe.  
> Reviews are welcome and appreciated.


	26. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey girls. Here it is, the last part. It's officially done, I just finished my first multi-chapter fiction. This is my best “chapter” so far, I think. Tell me how you see it.
> 
> Thanks again for all that sticked with me and to those who followed and a special thanks to all reviewers. I hope to hear some last words of you, this feels like giving away a baby, somehow. I seriously loved to write this and I love you guys, so much. This is a great fandom, one of the best, I dare say.

Epilogue:

Chloe's PoV: 

I awake to the sound of the radio as my alarm goes off. It's still pretty early in the morning, just past 6, but I have a long day ahead of me and therefor I need an early start. Sometimes I wish my day had 48 hours. It's been a little over a year since I graduated from the LA art college with pretty good recommendations and even though I mastered in designing and creating furniture I like to keep my mind open with drawing and taking and editing pictures. I believe I'm just not the person to focus on one thing in life. I never was and I'll never be.  
The shower is very welcoming this early in the morning but it's nearly lulling me back to sleep with its hot water so I decide to make it fast and get some caffein in my system. While the machine runs I grab some old newspaper lying around and turn it over. It's main article is about the Bellas, they've won the fourth trophy in a row a few weeks ago. No one's surprised, with Beca leading them and the others, minus Aubrey and me, still a part of the team they managed to only get more professional over the years. They're all good together so I guess they prepared the remaining (new) Bellas for the time after them.  
I focus on the picture above the article, Beca is smiling at the camera, having an arm around Lily and Denise each. Over the past three years I found myself missing them more than I've ever imagined. We've become a family after all, a crazy but none the less functional, not so little family.  
But with the physical distance between us came the emotional as well. We still have contact, mostly via texts or facebook but with them all planning their future they seem to be as busy as I am right now.  
With one final glance at the picture I put the newspaper down. It's time to start my journey back to Barden for a Mitchel-Family-Dinner, meaning a whole day spent driving down there. The upside to those meetings is that I get to actually see at least Aubrey and Beca again, with them being present at most of the Mitchel-family-dinners.

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Right after graduation I scored a pretty good job at a local gallery and between helping them out they scanned through my latest creations. They allowed me to exhibit and sell some there and it turned out people really like my work. Right now, creating furniture is a full time job and even some celebrities ask for my work. Hell, I even sold a couch to Lady Gaga! It was featured in her latest video and I practically screamed at the telly as I recognised it. I have a decently sized flat that I'm very proud of having scored but it can get lonely so I'm debating weather I should get a dog or not. I want one, I'm dieing to have one but I fear that I won't have enough time to actually take care of it. Maybe if I had a roommate. But then again, that's easier said than done in LA. Too much to choose from.  
Caffein is good. Sometimes too good to be true. So, now that I have my fuel I only need to get my car something to drink and make my way to Barden. I dock my phone to my car with a click and start on my journey. I swear I wouldn't survive that drive without music. I'm that typ of person that keeps the music on her phone always up to date but there are songs, these certain songs I just cannot delete. They are the most played since they are on my phone, the most played on my stereo and on my laptop. The thing is, they are all the mixes Beca made. Thankfully she still uploads most of her stuff to the Bellas Cloud, which is surprisingly, still a thing even though it's not as much used as a few years ago.  
Beca and me have established a good, yet sometimes complicated friendship. We're pretty much on the way back to being besties but there are moments when our past interferes with that. There was not a single serious relationship since the thing with Beca on my side but she's been dating this girl named Ginnifer. She's been around for two christmases already and I'm kinda anxious to see if she'll be around this year too. She's a good catch, really, but it's just awkward having to sit opposite to them on a table for a whole evening pretending that I'm not imagining to be in her place.  
I don't know and I can't be sure but sometimes it just gets me wondering if Beca knows, if she can feel that I'm thinking about it, if she thinks about it too. Then again, I'm too chicken to ask her, too afraid to ruin this truce we worked out. Aubrey is always telling me to act upon my feelings and to think she would be the one to give relationship (or nonrelationship) advices...well, you can imagine.  
Aubrey and Stacie made it offical about three years ago and we can actually start on planning wedding gifts, seeing as the date is set for next august. I feel like the proudest “sister” ever.

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It's already past 11pm as I put my car into a stop in my parents drive way. Their lights are out but over the years I learned that my room will be already prepared for my sleep over and some delicious food will be waiting for me in the fridge. I literally can't wait for the second part, I swear I'm gonna die from hunger soon after this day full of driving. To save time I just grab my sanitary bag and make my way to the front door, the rest can be unloaded later. Or more honestly, Richard can unload my car tomorrow. He won't mind.  
Fumbling a bit for the keys I finally manage to open the door. I try to make as little noise as possible while walking up the stairs to my room. As I open the door I am faced with my past, literally. Everything looks just like the day I moved out, even though my mom claimed that she'd love to turn it into a proper guest room, deep down I think she never could. I put on the comfiest PJs that I found in my old dresser and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. Through the door comes a flicker of light, so I know as I open the door that most likely someone is in there, maybe waiting for me. The thing I did not expect is being met with those deep blue eyes. They meet mine in an instant, not blinking, none of us is moving. It's like we're frozen. I don't know how long we just stand there, fixing each other with our eyes, daring one another to move maybe? No, it's more like we're anxious to move, to do something hasty and wrong. I bet we would have stood there until morning and one of my parents entered the room but the next thing I register is a beeping sound. It registers so faintly in my ears that it could have been a telephone ring from a neighbour but it's not. Beca must have been hungry as well, the beeping comes from our oven. The next thing that catches up to my brain is the lasagna smell and my stomach makes itself noticeable, loud enough for Beca to hear.

“You hungry as well, huh?” She moves over to the oven to turn it off, making the beeping finally stop. “Want some lasagna? It's not much, but we can share.”

I have to blink a few times, this was so surreal. By the time my eyes focus again she's looking over her shoulders at me, waiting for me to answer. “Yeah, sure. Living-room?”

She turns around again, pulling the dish out with her gloved hands. Seeing mum's pink gloves on Beca would have been a funny image every other time but right now it seems I can't focus on that.  
“Works for me. I'll be there in a sec. Can you grab some forks?”

I nod and move over to the cupboards, just then realising that she couldn't have seen from where she's standing so I grab to forks and add “Done.”

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We sit. We breath. We eat. We don't talk. The only noise in the room comes from our munching and the forks scraping on the plate. One plate, not much room between us. I guess that's the reason for our silence. A silence I just have to break.  
“Congratulations on your victory.”

“Thanks, it was hard work. We nearly lost it to the footnotes.”

“I can't believe that. You guys are aca-awesome, no one could possibly compete with that.”  
I just have to look over at her to strengthen my words with a beaming smile. I am proud, proud of her and the Bellas, after all.

“Still haven't stopped using aca before everything, I see.” She turns her head too and her trademark smirk is fixed in place.

I just add a dry “Never.” 

It's crazy how we just seem to have established a light banter between us and it breaks me back to the old days, the uncomplicated days. At one point we both have to laugh so much that we need to calm down to breath again. We unconsciously turn our heads towards each other. We must have gotten closer without noticing, our lips are mere inches apart. Again, we freeze. I don't dare move, I can't trust myself right now, I don't think I could ever trust myself around her. Our eyes have been fixed on each other the whole time and so the effect of her glancing down to my lips intensifies my feelings even more. I don't feel myself wetting my lips, I never gave the order to do it. Still I know that I just did, I can see it in her eyes, I have yet to lose my focus on them. She finally drags her eyes back to my own. “Beca.”   
I said it to stop whatever is happening right now. I promise that it was my intention but it still came out as a plea. My conscious is fighting against my heart. My very loudly beating heart. I think she'd be able to hear it if we were able to focus on something else then our eyes.  
Her eyes are almost black and it's then that I realise that she's leaning in, ready to connect our lips. My body reacts immediately. The hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention, my breath is caught in my lungs, my heart sure just skipped a beat. Every fibre of my being is screaming for what's about to happen-still I can't let it happen. “Don't.”  
It's so soft, not more than a whisper but it still stops her as if I physically pushed her away. I focus all the strength that's left in me and stand up. My retreat is so hasty that I nearly fall, my limbs not ready to function again. I only stop for a second before leaving the room, my hand already opening the door. I don't look back, I'm too afraid what I'll see if I do. Still, she needs to know, know that it's not because of my feelings, or the lack of them. Its because... “Ginnifer.” The tears are already running down my face but I hope she couldn't hear them in my voice.

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It took me most of the night to calm myself down and process what happened. I don't want to be the cause of Beca cheating. It's against her nature. She practically broke contact with her dad because of him choosing my mom. She is not like that and I don't want her to be something she is not, even if I have to sacrify my own happiness. That's what it means to love after all.  
The next day it seems like it never happened. Mom and dad have planned the day out to the last detail. Smalltalk over brunch, a long walk in the park. Time for each one of us to shower and change and a whole feast for dinner. We mostly talk about the vacation mom and dad are going on in a few weeks. Three months of Africa, wow. I envy them a bit. Beca talks mostly about the Bellas, sometimes telling us about a new mix she's working on and I tell them about my newest projects and LA in general.  
We decided on ending the evening with a movie at the cinema in town. I don't think Beca was that happy about the decision but she just took one for the team, I guess. At least it's a comedy, I think that's why she didn't veto. We sit on opposite ends of our group and I can't stop my eyes from watching her more than actually focusing on the movie. She's not looking over, not once. That hurts, I know I stopped us yesterday, still...it hurts. It's like yesterday didn't matter to her when it nearly shattered my being, again.

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We're saying our goodbyes outside of the cinema. I didn't get much of the movie in the end but it doesn't really matter. My mind is already on the task at hand, driving back to LA. I prefer driving in the night, it's just peaceful. We're hugging each other nearly to death. The next time I'll see my parents is gonna be christmas and they promised to show us all of the photos from their trip. Beca is saying her goodbyes as well. I didn't know she would leave this evening as well, she normally stays till the next day. We wave together as our parents drive off and I make it a point to keep on waving until I can't make out their car anymore. Stalling. I don't know how to react around her, thankfully, she speaks up first.

“I think you can stop waving. They just turned the corner.”  
I can hear the smile in her voice, she's able to read me, I'm sure of it.

I sheepishly take my hand down, slowly turning to her. “So, this is goodbye, right?”

“Actually, I thought you could maybe give me a ride. It's on your way, promise.”

I just nod. I don't trust my voice right now. How long is she going to sit next to me? This just screams awkwardness. We slowly walk over to my car. I stop at the front door, having to search for the keys in my purse. It takes me forever and I'm not even stalling. By the time I look up again Beca has moved from the other side of the car, now standing right in front of me. The surprise makes me loosen the grip on the keys and they fall noisily to the ground. I try to bend down to pick them up but Becas firm grip on my arm stops me. Next thing I know is that my back hits the car and her lips are on me. My brain stops working and it takes a second until I reciprocate, until I know how to reciprocate. She still does that to me. With one kiss I'm shattered and I have to learn to put the pieces together all over again. We kiss. We actually kiss and it feels wonderful. I don't think either of us wants to stop ever again but there is this stupid necessity called air that we need to function, to survive and be able to kiss.  
She pulls back first, I swear I wouldn't have stopped even if it meant my death. She gives me one of her trademark smirks before she picks up the keys and manages to open the car. She walks around and takes her seat and all I can do is watch her. What the hell just happened?

I finally manage to get a reaction from my brain again and hurry into the car. She just hands the keys over to me, waiting until I started the car before pulling the safety belt around her. I copy her action and focus on driving. I can't tell you how much time has passed since we started to drive, none of us speaking. I see a street sign telling us that Barden lies 20 miles behind us and Beca seems to have seen it to.

“I broke up with Ginnifer, shortly after last christmas.”

I thank god that this street is just going straight for hours as I snap my head towards her. That was more than half a year ago. That piece of information changes everything and I hate myself for pulling away yesterday. Unless...

“There's no one new.”

I swear she can read me. I can't believe this is happening. This is too good to be true.  
“Could there be someone old?” I ask tentatively. This is a make or break situation and I'm highly aware of that.  
“Depends. It would have to be you.”

I don't know what to say. I, Chloe Beale have lost my voice. All I can manage to give her my best smile and she returns it with one of her own, the one she's always reserved for me, I realise.

“LA is a long way to go, I'm sure you'll be able to talk before we arrive.”  
She read me again, didn't she? Wait...does that mean?

“LA?”

“Didn't I mention? I'm about to move there. You sure could help me find an apartment, right?”  
She's smirking again and I just overflow with joy.

“Definitely. I know a cute redhead with an apartment too big for her alone. If that's to your liking.”

 

“She definitely seems to be my type. We're going to make it work this time, right?”

“Yeah, 'cause...” I fade off, smiling.

“'Cause?” She doesn't catch on but it's my time to read her.

“'Cause...we're Beca and Chloe.”

THE END.   
For real, still can't believe it.


End file.
